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The E.Newspaper By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D. A.P.E., N.U.T.
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Monday
The Billionaire's Pants
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A Billionaire had a valet that happened to be a UNC (English major) grad. The UNC grad often made use of the Texan's castoff clothing and had his eye on a pair of tan trousers that were not wearing out fast enough to suit him, so he rubbed some grease on one knee. When his employer asked if he'd noticed the grease, the UNC grad told him that he had tried unsuc - cessfully to remove it.
"Did you try gasoline?" the billionaire asked.
"Yes sir," replied the UNC grad, "But it didn't work. In fact, I've tried everything I know."
"Have you tried ammonia?"
"Oh, no, sir!" exclaimed the UNC grad, "But I know they'll fit."