1) I am something that nothing is, but yet I have a name.
I am sometimes tall and sometimes short.
I join your talks; I join your sport,
And I play in every game.
What am I?
2) If you mulitply all the numbers on the telephone, what
is the answer?
3) My first is in fish but not in snail
My second is in rabbit but not in tail
My third is in up but not in down
My fourth is in tiara but not in crown
My fifth is in tree you plainly see
My whole a food for you and me.
What Am I?
4) A Train enters a tunnel at 7 o'clock, another train enters
the exact same tunnel, also at 7 o'clock on the same day.
The tunnel only has one track, and no other means for the
trains to pass, around, over, or under. However both trains
made it to the other end of the tunnel untouched. How could
this be?
Answers: Click Here
(Then scroll down)
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Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures
of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach
the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling. Moments
later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.
Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave
just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunately, he
had matches with him and was able to light a fire using
brush he found on the ground.
Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned,
a rescue team was sent to search for him. After several hours
they saw smoke curling from a nearby cave and went to investigate.
Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled,
"Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."
Bristling, and still work-harried, the executive calls back,
"I already gave at the office!"
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Dear American Soldier
Recently, Cable News Network (CNN) posted a very
moving story about U.S. soldiers who have received
letters from fellow Americans. The soldiers fighting
a war on the other side of the world carry with them,
photos and words of encouragement from children
who want to show their patriotic support.
According to Pat Centner, coordinator for AFA's
"Dear American Soldier" campaign, "These letters
are the direct result of AFA supporters who gave
messages of hope to men and women protecting
our country." She says a miracle has allowed AFA
to get over 15,000 letters to the soldiers, despite
the anthrax scare (Read more about this miracle
from an earlier report).
The campaign began last fall, when AFA encouraged
citizens to write letters to soldiers. Both hand-written
letters, and those written via a special Internet site,
are hand delivered by Chaplain (Capt.) Aaron D.
Nowland at Ft. Hood, Texas.
Centner refers to a letter of thanks by Air Force Senior
Master Sergeant Vernon Ash. "Words cannot express
the warm feeling one gets from someone else's caring,"
he wrote, "...it really means a lot to us for the folks at
home to pick up a pen and paper and take the time to
write people they have never met."
Centner recalls one special story about a homesick
soldier. "It seems that when the letters from AFA were
received overseas, they were spread on a table. Soldiers
gathered there and scrambled to grab one or two for
themselves. After a moment, one soldier gasped in
astonishment, 'Oh my, you're not going to believe
this, but this letter is from my daughter!'"
I appeal to all 'Thought & Humor' friends to take a
moment to go online and send a letter "from the heart"
to a member of our service personnel.
Remember to forward this message to your address
list. God bless you for caring and acting!
www.dearamericansoldier.com
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What happens when a girl falls?
What happens when a girl falls for one or more of the following ?
A chef? (You get buttered up.)
A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)
A gambler? (He cheats on you.)
A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)
A trashman? (He dumps you.)
A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)
A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)
A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)
An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)
An artist? (He gives you the brush.)
A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)
So marry someone just like Howdy...
.
(Did all of you girls at U.C.-Berkeley see his picture on this blog???)
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BET YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT...
Richard Nixon was the first president to visit all 50 states.
Margaret Gorman was the first Miss America. She was 16.
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Of the 50 United States:
Of the 50 United States,
which state is the farthest south?
which state is the farthest north?
the farthest west? and the farthest east?
ANSWER:
North - Alaska
South - Hawaii
West - Alaska
East - Alaska
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VIRUS ALERT!
TO: ALL USERS
SUBJECT: VIRUS ALERT!
There is a very dangerous virus going around
and it is propogated through the email system.
If you get an email message with the subject:
"VIRUS ALERT!" do not open the mail message.
If you do, the virus scrambles the second half
of every text file on your system.
VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the
first thing dlkfjaid dfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj asdfsdg
dluog av da agj asdfajpg as dflasidffnm asd difvu
asdfa vgoiae vdsofj we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adf
as dg 0vbwe ads gwefawe ads vewerwe dsf!
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Encouragement
If you have any encouragement from
being united with Christ, if any comfort
from his love, if any fellowship with the
Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,
then make my joy complete by being like-
minded, having the same love, being
one in spirit and purpose. Philippians 2
Written to the church in Philippi.
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Kid's Site
.
KIDS' SITE: JUNGLE IN MY BACKYARD
http://www.backyardjungle.org
View pictures of other kids' backyards and share what's in yours.
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Run Down The Hall
MUSIC!!!
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Irma & Betty
Irma: I've had such a terrible day! First I was shot,
then I was blown up, then I was framed and hung!
Betty: I know. I hate to have my picture taken too.
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Out On A Limb
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Where Babies Come From
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Wrong Number
A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed
my cell phone instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of
Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked.
"Well, no," I answered puzzled at first. "But I have
a wife and eight children."
"Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn.
"I don't think so," I replied - kidding a bit with her
(because my wife was sitting beside me), "but it's
as close as I want to get."
.
(Actually, I was hoping to be blessed with an even dozen:O)
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The Nerve!!!
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was
a friendly, jovial man. But there was one subject
you didn't dare discuss in front of him--his height.
Or, should I say, his lack of it.
One day he stormed through the door and announced
angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!"
Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless,
except for one who blurted out, "How could anyone
stoop so low?"
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Highway Construction
An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach,
CA, has been torn up for years. Recently,
someone put up a handmade sign reading,
"Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out
in one and a half billion years. It is sad that
this contractor will have to finish working
in the dark."
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Life and Options in Suburbia -
Desperate Housewives
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES tells the story of four
friends living on a suburban street called "Wisteria
Lane." Their personal lives are a mess, and their
families are, if anything, even worse. So, as
television characters often do, they try to fill
their vacuums with illicit pleasures: drug abuse,
promiscuity, and adultery.
Of course, "better television" isn't synonymous
with "reality" or "truth" -- yet another reminder
that if you want to know why you're feeling
desperate, the tube is the last place you should
look.
MORE: http://xrl.us/exsz
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That One Red Spot
Power. That's what mattered most to Napoleon.
He wanted power. And he got it. Under his
leadership, the armies of France won some
stunning victories and extended control well
beyond their borders. But it wasn't enough for
Napoleon. He knew there was one thing, one
force that stood in his way. It is said that one
day he gathered all his top officers together
around this large table. Laid across that table
was a map of Europe - with a big red spot on it.
That spot was England. And pounding his fist
on the table, Napoleon raged: "If it weren't for
that red spot, I could have it all!"
MORE: http://xrl.us/exsw
LISTEN: http://xrl.us/exsx
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The Inescapable Way of Death -
On a Day Yet To Be
The death rate on planet earth is still one hundred
percent. This is a sobering thought. It is the way
the world runs. All things wear down. From the
moment we are born, we step closer and closer
to the grave. It feels unnatural but it is inescapable.
The most prevailing argument against Christianity
is the problem of evil. Many atheists, from the ancient
Epicurus to the modern Michael Tooley, evoke this
argument to show that even if God did exist, He would
not be worthy of worship. The argument says that
for God to be worthy of our life devotion, He would
need to be powerful enough and loving enough to
prevent evil from happening. But since evil does
happen, then God must not possess these qualities.
Therefore, He is not worthy of our worship.
A major part of this argument has been put to rest
by what is called the "free will defense." This
argument says that evil can coexist in a universe
with God if there are other free creatures in that
universe who could commit evil. Since there are
free creatures who can commit evil, then it is not
illogical to say God can exist and is still worthy
of worship. Those creatures that are capable of
committing such atrocities are angels gone bad -
which we call demons-and humans gone bad -
which includes all of us.
MORE: http://xrl.us/exsp
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Monday
University Grads
Riddle 2.1.5
1) "I know a word of letters three,
add two and fewer there will be."
So, what's the word?
2) What is so fragile that when you say its
name you break it?
3) The first is foremost legally
The second circles outwardly
The third leeds in victory
The last twice ends a nominee
What am I?
4)Count the number of "F"'s in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS
OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Got it?
(Scroll down)
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Spirit Of Diversity
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Battle Of The Sexes
Nobody will ever win the Battle
of the Sexes. There's just too
much fraternizing with the enemy.
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Howdy's Driveway
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Reference These Sites:
PICS FROM SPACE
http://hubblesite.org
The Hubble Space Telescope can photograph images from farthest
space. Check pictures of exploding stars and black holes.
KIDS' SITE: PAINTING BY NUMBERS
http://www.segmation.com/SegPlayOverview.html
Remember paint by numbers? Pick a color and fill the appropriate
part of the picture. Choose from several cool pictures.
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Detective Retirement
A detective who spent his entire career in plain
clothes quit the police force and bought a farm.
"What kind of crops do you plan to grow?"
the police chief asked the farmer-to-be.
"Carrots and potatoes," the man replied.
"Why carrots and potatoes?" asked the chief.
"Because," answered the ex-detective, . . .
"I'm very fond of undercover crops."
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