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We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/















The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************

Saturday

 

AFTERMATH OF KATRINA -
LIVE ACCOUNT

.
A Galveston Police officer puts up a barracade around the rubble from a fallen wall of the Greenleve Block & Co. building in the aftermath of Hurricane Rita Saturday, Sept. 24, 2005 in Galveston, Texas. The wall collapsed as Rita made landfall.  (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

Its the Christian people with love and compassion
who do the work. The gripers in Congress should
come on down and get in line to pass the water
and the ice. Are you listening Hillary, Chuck,
Teddy and all the sorry loafers we call Senators
and Congressmen? They don't have a clue as to
what this life is all about here on the gulf coast.

MORE!!!








 

Warning!!!

.
The image “http://www.espionage-store.com/pics/passport.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

This may come as quite a surprise but I came across
a website that holds everyone's passport details.
Anyone can access other people's personal information
if you like.

I've removed my details - I suggest you all do the same.

GO HERE!!!






Friday

 

Cyber Tidbits

.


The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because
the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction
of the bubbles.

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks
the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.



Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet
away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.



American car horns beep in the tone of F.

No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.



Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.







 

Brazilian Soldiers

.


I was at the airport waiting for my flight recently,
sitting next to a UNC student who was engrossed
in her newspaper. One of the headlines blared:

"12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."

She shook her head at the sad news. I was amazed
at her empathy for the soldiers.

Then... turning to me.... she asked, "How many is
a Brazilian?"

(Tks: Bob)






 

CyberHumor

.


Two UNC students named Leo and Sam exited &
locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the
key which was in the ignition.

Realizing the mistake, Leo asked, "Why don't we get
a coat hanger to open it."

"No, that won't work" answered Sam. "People will
think we're trying to break in."

Then Leo suggested, "What if we use a pocket knife
to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and
pull up the lock?"

"No," said Sam. "People will think we're too dumb to
use a coat hanger."

"Well," sighed Leo, "we'd better think of something
fast. It's starting to rain, and the sun roof is open!"







 

Term Paper

.
The image “http://www.fsra.net/images/study.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger and
there is
neither apple or pine in a pineapple. English
muffins were not
invented in England or French fries
in France. Sweetmeats are
lollies while sweetbreads
which are not sweet are meat. We take
English for
granted.



But if we explore its paradoxes, we find quick sand
can work
slowly, boxing rings are square and a
Guinea Pig is neither from
Guinea or a pig.



And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the
plural of tooth is teeth,
why isn't the plural of booth
beeth? One goose, two geese. So one
moose, two
meese? And to further complicate the issue it is one

mongoose, two mongooses. You can make amends,
but not one amend or
comb through the annals of
history but not a single annal. If you
have a bunch
of odds and ends and get rid of all of them, except

one, is it an odd or an end?



It teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian
eats vegetables what does a human -
itarian eat? Sometimes I think all
English speakers
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane.



In what other language do people recite at a play
and play at a
recital? Or have noses that run and
feet that smell? How can a slim
chance and a fat
chance mean the same thing , while a wise man
and
a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook
and oversee be
opposites? Have you noticed that
we talk about certain things only
when they are
absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage
or a
strapful gown? And where are those people
who are actually spring
chickens? You have to
marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in

which you house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in
a form by filling it out and
in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.



English was invented by people not computers,
and it reflects the
creativity of the human race,
which isn't a race at all. That is
why when the
stars are out they are visible, but when the lights

are out they are invisible.



That is why when I wind up my watch I start it,
but when I wind up
this essay, I end it.

The image “http://www.iowaworkforce.org/region14/youth1.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.






 






 

CLASSIC Riddle

.


This can be carried,
though it has no weight,
and you can do it to a radio
to help you play one.

ANSWER!!!







 






 

Choosing Death Rather Than Life

.


In a major article published in the September 18, 2005 edition of
The New York Times. In a story titled "Under Din of Abortion
Debate, an Experience Shared Quietly," reporter John Leland
recounted conversations he experienced during a visit to Little
Rock Family Planning Services, an abortion clinic located in the
Arkansas capital.



Leland's article is heartbreaking. He takes readers into the lives
of the women who have come to the clinic seeking an abortion.
Their stories--and the rationales they gave for their abortions--
only deepen the sense of tragedy that surrounds the reality of
abortion.


MORE!!!








 

Two UNC Profs

.


Two retired UNC professors were vacationing
with their wives at a hotel
in the Catskills. They
were sitting on the veranda one summer evening,

watching the sunset.



The history professor asked the psychology
professor, "Have you read
Marx?"



To which the professor of psychology replied,
"Yes. I think it's these
pesky wicker chairs."







 

GlowWorms

.
The image “http://www.space.com/images/ig_22_13_norwegian_meteor.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

When an unusually large meteor of a certain kind streaks into Earth's
atmosphere, it might leave behind a glowing trail that can last
several minutes before it dissipates. These "glowworms" shine
mysteriously by their own light as high-altitude winds slowly tear
them apart.

Scientists who want to study the glowing trails are forced to wait
for a meteor of the right kind. Fortunately, the annual Leonid
meteor shower often includes such meteors, and in 1998 and 1999 laser
beams from the ground probed several of the glowing trails.

No one knows why some meteor trails glow for several minutes. The
light may come from the recombination of atoms with electrons ripped
away by the energy of the passing fireball, or possibly from chemical
reactions within the cloud of vapor.

A Leonid glowworm being
probed by a laser beam!!!






 

Dear Dad

.


Dear Dad,
How i$ it going in $outh Florida? $ally and I ju$t
$erved $oft drink$ at Outback $teakhou$e. La$t
night I propo$ed to $ally. We are getting married
on $aturday.
From, $tuie $teven$on

Dear Stuie,
NO matter what you say, you're kNOwledge is more
important than astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and techNOlogy.
You kNOw Sally will love you NO matter what.
From, Dad








 

I ASKED THE LORD.....




I asked the Lord to bless you
As I prayed for you today,
To guide you and protect you
As you go along your way....
His love is always with you
His promises are true,
And when we give Him all our cares,
You know He will see us through,
So when the road you're traveling on
Seems difficult at best,
Just remember I'm here praying
And God will do the rest.






 

Riddle

.
The image “http://www.vjc.edu/uploadedImages/Admissions/girl%20studying.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

A word I know,
six letters it contains
subtract just one,
and twelve is what remains.

Answer on this page - BELOW!!!

(Bet you can't find it:O)






Thursday

 






 


An elderly man was at home, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of
his
favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie
before he died.

He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs,
and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies.
With waning strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able
to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet.

As he grasped a warm, moist, chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind,
his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why did you do that?"

"They're for the funeral!"







 
.


A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across
an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah
blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little
sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get
one wish!"



The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always
wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly, and I get very
seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over
there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the
logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of
the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No....
think of another wish."



The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally,
he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives
always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I
wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside
and what they're thinking when they give me the silent
treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want
when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"








 

Singing Telegrams

.


A Western Union executive named George P. Oslin invented the
singing
telegram in the depths of the Great Depression. It was on
July 28,
1933 that he asked an operator named Lucille Lipps to
deliver a
singing message to the great vocal star, Rudy Vallee.
It was Rudy's birthday.


Oslin, who was public relations director for Western Union, was
criticized for making a laughingstock of the company. But as the US
emerged from the depression, singing telegrams became more popular.

Today in the age of email and long-distance telephone calls, singing
telegrams are falling into obscurity. The only ones available from
Western Union now are those sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday
to
You" -- the same song sung by Lucille Lipps in 1933.

More about George Oslin and singing
telegrams



Oslin wrote a book called "The Story
Of Telecommunications"


The history of Western Union








 

Near Miss




In New York, a jet taking off with 185 passengers came within
200 feet of an arriving cargo plane,
nearly colliding. New York
Senator Clinton blamed
it on "vast right-wing malfunction."






 

Leap Year History




In 1582 Pope Gregory decreed that October's dates would skip
from the
fourth to the fifteenth, dropping ten days. The reason
for this
seemingly strange act had to do with the calendar system
that was in
use at the time.

Unlike our current system, the old Julian calendar had a leap year

every four years without exception. Because a year is really a
fraction
shorter than 365.25 days, tiny errors began to accumulate.


By the time of Pope Gregory's decree, the calendar was adjusted
by ten
days compared to Earth's solar year. When he issued his
decree, Gregory also fixed the leap year rule, so
that leap years
do not occur on century years (divisible by 100), unless
the year
is also divisible by 400. There is one other exception: years
divisible
by 4000 are not leap years. For example, 1900 was not a leap
year,
but 2000 is one.






 

The Stuff Of Scars




I have always found it immeasurably comforting that Jesus gave Simon
the
name "Cephas," or Peter, before Cephas had done much of anything.
Before
Peter had even determined to follow Jesus, let alone serve him
and love
him as the Christ, before Peter had muttered his denials of
knowing Jesus
or had one of his moments of blurted insight, before
Jesus had reason to
call Peter "Satan," Jesus called him the "rock"
(John 1:42). What does
this say? First, I believe it shouts of God's sovereignty.

MORE!!!






Wednesday

 

Letter To Howdy

.


Howdy,


Your messages are bigoted and offensive. Indeed,
you will have a lot to answer for when you meet your
beloved god.

Robert (MSU)








 

Howdy's Desk















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Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

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Bible Study Info

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Don't Be Left Behind

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Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

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Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

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God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions

RBC

Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

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Lincoln - A Christian

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One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*

Fireworks

Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}





Music That Ho Enjoys



God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O

LawOrder

The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond

Jaws

Magnum

Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn

Rocky

Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue

Downtown

Elvis

Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge

Malagueña

Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Charade

The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me

SWonderful

Adios

A Foggy Day

Amor

Anna

Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band

Bolero

Brazil

Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore

Solace

Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley

Tequila

That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much

I WALK THE LINE

EL PASO

TENNESSEE WALTZ

STAND BY YOUR MAN

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know

Fascination

I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain

CanadianSunset

It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'

Wanted

No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love

Sincerely

Sweetheart

In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart

HeartOfMyHeart

Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...

Unforgettable

Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young

Because

Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas

Windy

My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember

HernandosHideaway

Be My Love

Embassy Waltz

Misty

A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink

Downtown

Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer

Lollipops

Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight

Frenesi

Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Misty

Gina

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely

Pachelbel

Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II

Rawhide

I Walk The Line


God loves you so much that He died for you!!!



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Verse of the Day




* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.




D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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