We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/
The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.
************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************
Thursday
Can You Figure This Out???
I have just discovered how to make my computer
read your mind. So, watch out what you're thinking.
I can read your mind!!
Dr. Howdy
Amazing card trick!!!!
Dr. Howdy's Card Trick.
Performed by: Dr. Howdy.
Pick one of the following cards.
Don 't click on it; just keep it in
your head....
Now scroll down when you have your card,
Think about your card for 20 seconds in front
of Dr. Howdy - Dr. Howdy will attempt to read
your mind!
Scroll down after 20 Seconds
Dr. Howdy Has Removed Your Card!
SCARY ISN'T IT. Now scroll up and do
it again, this will freak you out.
Comments welcome!!!
The Virus - An Ultra Lite Novel
The Virus (An Ultra Lite Novel by Howdy)
This Monday started like most any day but would end anything but
typical. The Weather Channel forecasted mild atmospheric conditions
(even for November) but unfolding events would soon challenge and
startle mankind as never before.
In an elaborate government building somewhere in Rome, a multitude
of dedicated world renowned computer and technology experts studied
The Virus that had already secretly infected 98% of the planet's
computers in its first stage. Up to this point, none outside this edifice
had ascertained the existence of the silent menace.
In Jerusalem, heavy crowds were milling around The Dome of the Rock,
the third holiest site to Muslims worldwide. On the other side of the
Wall, a larger than expected crowd of Jewish worshipers prayed even
as portions of the wall continued to collapse.
In New York City, the Stock Market opened slightly higher while
down in Washington - Pentagon officials poured their second cup
of Maxwell House Decaf. Further south, the last edition of The
Atlanta Journal was being prepared while further west, parents
turned toward their offices after depositing their children at school.
Work halted temporarily in the government building as the new
dynamic and charismatic leader's entourage entered. He spoke
over the JBL sound system. "Good associates, The Virus is
scheduled to be released as planned in two stages. Stage one as
you know affects all the world's primary computers while the
second will decrease the excess occupiers that have so strained
our fragile environment. Both will begin to take effect within the
hour thanks to your hard work." He will later become Time Magazine's
"Man of the Year".
Unexpected to those in Rome, The Wall in Jerusalem collapses and
thousands of Muslims lose their lives along with hundreds of Jewish
worshipers. The Dome of the Rock along with all nearby buildings of the
Islamic Faith disappear into rubble. Within moments a very great riot
commences with each side blaming the other. Syria (with Iraq's lost
WMD) & Iran ready their hidden nuclear arsenal.
With a new surprising show of unity in Beijing, Hanoi, Jakarta, Tokyo,
Pyongyang, New Delhi along with other Far East capitals, 200 million
multi-asian troops are placed on alert. Moscow prepares its revived
army for an eventual march south....very far south.
Stage one hits Wall Street, the Pentagon, Main Street and homes
across America as well as the entire Western World. Business stops
as all funds - the complete wealth of the Industrialized World - is
transferred by computer virus via the web to Rome. All modern military
weapons are now under the new leader's absolute command as well as
the world's media (Rule of Rome once again).
As the second stage of The Virus is released, millions will become sick
and die with a highly infectious disease stronger that the SARS & Ebola
viruses combined. Fortunately for some, certain large groups of people
have been quietly immunized earlier. Millions of Christians disappear at
5 PM EST (Midnight in Jerusalem) virtually unnoticed because of the
pandemonium. The controlled media is not allowed to print this story.
The President is declared lost because Air Force One is down over the
Atlantic according to managed reports but did his aircraft ever leave
Andrews Air Force Base? Is this a cover up from Rome to perhaps hide
his evanescence also? Other prominent members of the President's
Party are missing but from the other side? Exiguous.
This disappearance will go virtually unnoticed because of the manipulated
media and its potentate who controls also the world's assets & armaments -
the ultimate coup d' tat - all without a shot being fired. He will woo the planet,
restore peace to the Middle East for a short time with false promises of pro-
tection as well as rebuild a new Jewish Temple on the destroyed site. The
Islamic world will cheer because their faith has expected this great new leader.
With an appearance before nearly all mankind live on all media (TV, radio, &
even computers on-line), men, women, and children are mesmerized. Stay tuned...
After The Return of The King:
They shall beat their swords into plowshares,
And their spears into pruning hooks; Nation shall
not lift up sword against nation, Neither shall they
learn war anymore.
Howdy's New Car
Do you need more???
& Award Winning Humor w/o
commercial advertisements...
commercial advertisements...
Updated daily!!!
Questions that really need answers...
1. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
2. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
there a song about him?
3. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains
on all fours? They're both dogs!
4. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
5 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
6. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?
7. Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?
8. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription
in the usual doctor's fashion?
The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.
Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into
Yankee Stadium.
It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier
to increase his salary.
And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won
a scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory.
The UNC student reported for her university final examination
that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in
the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five
minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her
purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking
the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of
the class is still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing
the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed,
approaches her and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking
my answers before lunch time."
Three UNC students went hunting. The first thing they
did was to get permission to hunt on a friends wooded land.
Their friend told them if they get lost to fire three times into
the air and he would come and find them and lead them out
of the woods.
After three hours of hunting, the students had not had any
luck and were tired. Not only that they were lost. The
first Carolina student fired three times into the air and sat
down to wait. After an hour, the second student got up and
fired three times into the air and sat down to wait. By this
time it was getting dark. The third UNC student got up,
fired three times into the air and said, "I sure hope he gets
here fast, I am out of arrows".
MUSLIM BITES DOG
The amazing part of the great Danish cartoon caper
isn't that Muslims immediately engage in acts of mob
violence when things don't go their way. That is de
rigueur for the Religion of Peace. Their immediate
response to all bad news is mass violence. That's a
"dog bites man" story and belongs on page B-34,
next to the grade school hot lunch menu and the
birth notices.
#23 - All Time Box Office Grosses -
And Still Moving Up
Muhammad or Jesus???
The Lion Whips The Monkey!!!
And The Goblet!!!
Tuesday
Really Corny V-Day Questions
What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine's Day?
What did the letter say to the stamp?
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
What do you call a very small valentine?
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
Light bulb's love declaration:
I love you a whole watt!
The Bedroom Police
"University of Florida employees have to pledge
that they're having sex with their domestic partners
before qualifying for benefits under a new health
care plan at the university."
Happy Valentines Day
If I could speak in any
language in heaven or
on earth but didn't love
others, I would only be
making meaningless noise
like a loud gong or a
clanging cymbal. If I
had the gift of prophecy,
and if I knew all the
mysteries of the future
and knew everything
about everything, but
didn't love others, what
good would I be? And
if I had the gift of faith
so that I could speak
to a mountain and make
it move, without love
I would be no good to
anybody. If I gave
everything I have to
the poor and even
sacrificed my body,
I could boast about it;
but if I didn't love others,
I would be of no value
whatsoever. Love is
patient and kind. Love
is not jealous or boastful
or proud or rude. Love
does not demand its
own way. Love is not
irritable, and it keeps
no record of when it
has been wronged.
It is never glad about
injustice but rejoices
whenever the truth
wins out. Love never
gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through
every circumstance.
May You Always
Experience This
Kind Of Love,
Dr. Howdy
* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *
December 26 January 02 January 09 January 16 January 23 January 30 February 06 February 13 February 20 February 27 March 06 March 13 March 20 March 27 April 03 April 10 April 17 April 24 May 01 May 08 May 15 May 22 May 29 June 05 June 19 June 26 July 03 July 10 July 17 July 24 July 31 August 07 August 21 August 28 September 04 September 11 September 18 September 25 October 02 October 09 October 16 October 23 October 30 November 06 November 13 November 20 November 27 December 04 December 11 December 18 December 25 January 01 January 08 January 15 January 22 January 29 February 05 February 12 February 19 December 30