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We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/















The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************

Saturday

 






 






 

Las Vegas Storm







 






 

Drawing A Line Under Hypocrisy



http://www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/worldviews/2006/02/03/Danish%20flag%20burns.jpg

When it comes to newspaper cartoons - the subject of the present
unrest - Muslim countries are world leaders in stirring up hate,
without a peep of protest elsewhere, let alone the torching of buildings,
threats to behead European tourists, and the burning of the Danish flag
(which incidentally bears a Christian symbol, the cross).

So much for religious respect.

MORE!!!






Friday

 






 







 

Funny Oxymorons



open secret
larger half
clearly confused
act naturally
alone together
Hell's Angels
found missing
liquid gas
civil engineer
deafening silence
seriously funny
living dead
jumbo shrimp
Advanced BASIC
tragic comedy
unbiased opinion
virtual reality



definite maybe
original copies
pretty ugly
same difference
plastic glasses
almost exactly
constant variable
even odds
minor crisis
extinct life
genuine imitation
exact estimate
only choice
freezer burn
free love
working holiday
rolling stop








 


Two UNC students named Trish and Tina were walking down the street.
Trish noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up.
She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, "Hmmm, this person looks
familiar."


Tina said, "Let me look!" So Trish handed her the compact.

Tina looked in the mirror then turned to Trish. "You silly girl...
that's *me*!






 


Dear Friends,

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and
too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real
reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the
work. There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to
do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal
government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2
million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for
State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to
do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,
leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.Now, there are 1,211,998
people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.

And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes!!!

HOWDY






 

Boss To Howdy








 


Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.






 

Riddles 2.10.6



1) It fell from a star,
But not very far.
It seems to fly
Above you and I.
Look further down to see
Cousin Jay below us three.
Jump down further to see an empty space.
Tell me what "it" is, and where is this place?

2) We are in beauty,
But not in handsome
We are in you,
But not in she
One of us is in pretty,
But both of us are in ugly
Please tell who are we?

3) What does this riddle represent?

To be here is unpleasant, that is for sure.
Life is usually hidden and often a blur.

But just add an "s" and things change so fast.
Sweet replaces heat of the now recent past.

4) I'm called a man,
But I'll never have a wife.
I was given a body,
But not given life.
They made me a mouth,
But I wasn't given breath.
Water gives body,
And sun gives me death.
What am I?

5) I am Loud or quiet.
I am sudden or expected.
I am a strong medication.
I am a relief in certain situations.
I am caused by embarrassment and/or happiness.
I am found in many good friendships.
I am .......

6) Which state abbreviation's name has nothing in it?

7) I eat, I breathe, I move so much
I leave you tender to the touch.
Within me lies help or harm for you
But one rarely predicts what I will do.
I move around, yet have no legs
and multiply, but lay no eggs.
My colors change as I get intense
But I keep no form, in my defense.
What am I?







 


In a restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry,
come in and get fed up."



Inside a bowling alley :

"Please be quiet. We need to hear
a pin drop."



In a cafeteria :

"Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want."






 

NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY





TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY


*SICKNESS
No excuse...We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as
proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you
are able to come to work.

* AN OPERATION:
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage
any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as
long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever
you have and should not consider having anything removed. We
hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly
make you less than we bargained for.



* DEATH:

* Other than your own.
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do
for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend to the
arrangements. However, if the funeral can be held in the late
afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch
hour and subsequently let you leave 1 hour early, provided your
share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

* Your own:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least
two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.







 


A police recruit was asked during the exam,
"What would you do if you had to arrest your
own wife's mother?" He said, "Call for backup."






 

Something For Everybody!!!





Num Perc. Country Name
drill down4752.22%United StatesUnited States
drill down77.78%IndiaIndia
drill down44.44%PortugalPortugal
drill down44.44%AustraliaAustralia
drill down44.44%United KingdomUnited Kingdom
drill down44.44%AustriaAustria
drill down33.33%NetherlandsNetherlands
drill down22.22%PakistanPakistan
drill down22.22%IsraelIsrael
drill down22.22%Korea, Republic OfKorea, Republic Of
drill down22.22%JapanJapan
drill down22.22%Unknown-
drill down22.22%NigeriaNigeria
drill down22.22%SwedenSweden
drill down22.22%CanadaCanada
drill down11.11%QatarQatar

Where are our readers???

And then He [Jesus*] told them, "Go into all the world
and preach** the Good News to everyone, everywhere.
*God, 2nd Member of the Trinity, Son of God, Jewish
Messiah, The Christ, Emanuel...

**Perhaps using the internet...














* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That H Enjoys" Below * * *

* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

December 26   January 02   January 09   January 16   January 23   January 30   February 06   February 13   February 20   February 27   March 06   March 13   March 20   March 27   April 03   April 10   April 17   April 24   May 01   May 08   May 15   May 22   May 29   June 05   June 19   June 26   July 03   July 10   July 17   July 24   July 31   August 07   August 21   August 28   September 04   September 11   September 18   September 25   October 02   October 09   October 16   October 23   October 30   November 06   November 13   November 20   November 27   December 04   December 11   December 18   December 25   January 01   January 08   January 15   January 22   January 29   February 05   February 12   February 19   December 30  

Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

Bible Study Info

Christian Web Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Crowd

Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions

RBC

Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*

Fireworks

Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}





Music That Ho Enjoys



God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O

LawOrder

The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond

Jaws

Magnum

Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn

Rocky

Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue

Downtown

Elvis

Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge

MalagueƱa

Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Charade

The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me

SWonderful

Adios

A Foggy Day

Amor

Anna

Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band

Bolero

Brazil

Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore

Solace

Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley

Tequila

That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much

I WALK THE LINE

EL PASO

TENNESSEE WALTZ

STAND BY YOUR MAN

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know

Fascination

I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain

CanadianSunset

It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'

Wanted

No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love

Sincerely

Sweetheart

In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart

HeartOfMyHeart

Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...

Unforgettable

Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young

Because

Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas

Windy

My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember

HernandosHideaway

Be My Love

Embassy Waltz

Misty

A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink

Downtown

Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer

Lollipops

Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight

Frenesi

Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Misty

Gina

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely

Pachelbel

Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II

Rawhide

I Walk The Line


God loves you so much that He died for you!!!



How to UNSUBSCRIBE

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Verse of the Day




* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.




D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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