We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/

A fawn with a hornet? Bambee.
A policeman with a telegram? Copper wire.
A canary with a mole? A miner bird.
A pig with a cactus? A porkerpine.
A cat with a lemon? A sourpuss.
A banana with a red silk dress? A pink slip.
A chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck.
A duck with a steamroller? A flat duck.
An Eskimo with a pig? A polar boar.
A spider with a rabbit? A hare net.
A ham with a karate expert? Pork chops.
An owl with a goat? A hootenanny.
An Indian with a cow? Geronimoo.
A tiger with a needle? Pin stripes.
A termite with a house? An exterminator.
A dove with a high chair? A stool pigeon.
A tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
A parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
A rabbit with a kilt? Hopscotch.
A dog with a daisy? A collie-flower.
A hummingbird with a doorbell? A humdinger.
The Green Giant with Robin Hood? A Hoe-Bow.
The Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Halfway.
A movie with a swimming pool? A dive-in theater.
Telly Sevalas with a pool table? A billiard bald.
A potato with an onion? A potato with watery eyes.
A dog with a chicken? A hen that lays pooched eggs.
A vulture with a small grass house? A scavenger hut.
A pit bull with a collie? A dog that bites your leg off and runs for
help.
A kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper.
A gorilla and a sheep? A very nice wool coat, except the sleeves are
too long.
 

.
Something very strange happened
to me this past week. I was seated
in my library chair, mulling over
current events, trying to make a
few new year's predictions, which
is the custom for commentators.

I was concentrating hard, when
suddenly I saw before my eyes
a headline from the NEW YORK
TIMES. It read, "Congress Votes
to End War; Troops Ordered to
Abandon Iraq."

The view changed. Just as in
Vietnam three decades ago,
I saw Americans clinging
to helicopters, trying to get
themselves out of Baghdad
along with friendly Shiite
Muslims. There was massive
confusion, bombs going
off in the background.

And then, I saw pictures
out of Afghanistan. Al
Qaeda had toppled the
new Afghan government.
Marines and soldiers again
were hurriedly boarding
choppers. It can't be real,
I thought -- but it was.

The next thing I saw was
a picture of Palestine,
where most of the al
Qaeda terrorists had
now gone. The Israeli
government was in
disarray, reeling
under a series of huge
bomb blasts in Jerusalem.

Country after country was
falling to the Islamic fascists:
Saudi Arabia. Turkey. Egypt.
For the most part, the terrorists
simply refused to ship oil, and
what they did ship was priced
at over $150 a barrel. It was
a worldwide crisis. Europe
quickly signed a non-aggression
pact with al Qaeda in exchange
for oil.

Then came the most devastating
picture of all: panic in the streets
of Washington, D.C., as a dirty
bomb exploded not a quarter
of a mile from the Capitol. Huge
sections of the city were cordoned
off, uninhabitable. Even people
with the best protective equipment
suffered serious radiation burns.

Projections were that the area
would be off-limits for years.
Then came the bombing of
the Holland Tunnel, connecting
New York and New Jersey --
then the collapse of the
pillars of the Golden Gate
Bridge.

The government threatened
retaliation, of course -- but
there was no one to retaliate
against. The Islamo-fascists
were spread throughout the
world, and it was impossible
to strike against all the countries
that were harboring them or
being run by them. Osama bin
Laden himself appeared on
Al Jazeera, boasting that
he had known all along that
the Americans wouldn't fight.

By now, most American
television was not operating.
But I could still get one channel.
Talking heads were arguing
frantically over how this could
have happened. One man's
voice stood out when he said,
"It was all so foreseeable.

Once you rule religion a private
matter, and declare all religions
alike, no one in this country could
understand the dimensions of a
great religious struggle.

No one understood the clash of
civilizations or the evil of Islamo-
fascism. We didn't even have the
language to describe religious
beliefs anymore. Destruction
was inevitable."

And that's when I woke up in
a cold sweat.

It was 5:00 A.M. I went
immediately to the front door.
Good -- the newspaper was
there. I flipped it open. There
was nothing in the headlines
except the confirmation fight
over Alito, more quibbling
over Iraq -- all the usual
banter that goes on endlessly
in the press. But as I walked
into the house, my knees
were still shaking.

It was only a dream. We're
okay, I told myself.

Or are we?