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We have -
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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself



All Time Top Movies
Adjusted for Ticket Price Inflation




NEXT 97!!!



My friend Judy was working at the Chapel Hill Inn when she
answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing
the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk.

When the phone rang again, a UNC student intern took the call.

"I forgot to ask something." the caller said, "How are the
rooms appointed?"

"Well, six of them are appointed west," the student said,
"and the rest are appointed east."


"Thought & Humor" is now read in all 50 States,
61 Countries, ALL 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!


When I was a kid, we walked 10 miles to school every day,
sometimes in the rain or snow. Man, did we feel stupid when
we found out there was a bus.


Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in this BLOG, The"E-Mail Newspaper",
'Thought &
Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to
of your choice from the list below:

1) Any French University
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, JSU, Villanova, MSU or Florida State.


A sign over a display of pine boards at HOME DEPOT:
"Knotty, but Nice!"


A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a UNC
grad who is a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of
grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices
that the grad is just standing there, doing nothing. The man gets
out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks
him, "Excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well...I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are
out standing in their field."


"Don't forget that people will judge you by your actions,
not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -
but so does a hard-boiled egg."


Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.


An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned
a UNC grad client who had purchased her first stock - one
hundred shares of Proctor & Gamble. He told her that he
had just heard they were going to split.

"Oh! What a shame." she lamented. "I'm so sorry to hear
that. And, they've been together for so long, too."



...The government is still analyzing Osama bin Laden's latest tape.
On his most recent release he called Bush a liar and said that he
was just after oil. It's the usual stuff we have heard before. Like
at the Golden Globes.

... On the tape, bin Laden has three demands: That we pull our
troops out of Iraq, that we pull the troops out of Afghanistan,
and he wants to see actual stars on "Dancing With the Stars."

... The "National Inquirer" has reported that Ted Kennedy
has a 21-year-old secret love child. Is that really the most
accurate term, "love child"? Isn't "drunken fling child"
bit more like it?

... Senator Kennedy wasn't available for comment on the
love child—he was overseeing a hearing on ethics.

... NBC has cancelled the "West Wing." That's when you
know things are bad—when even fictional Democrats
aren't doing well. Can't even get elected on TV anymore.

Jay Leno


Just Us

Not too long ago my wife and I rented a convertible and took off for the
Gulf Coast. Driving down the Interstate brought back a memory of when
first began courting her.

My mind drifted back over 12 years ago, the two of us cruising with the top
down on my Geo Tracker, traveling across south Arkansas on Highway 82.
remember looking over at this incredible, amazing girl sitting in the
passenger seat. She was beautiful. Her hair was pushed down tight under a
ballcap as the hot summer wind whipped all around us. The sun was shining,
the music was loud, and, although she preferred more refined modes of
travel, such as a Boeing, life for me was just about as good as it could
get. Man, I wanted to spend the rest of my earthly days just like this, side
by side with this girl, traveling down life's highway. In my feeble attempt
to Define The Relationship, with all the courage I could muster, this
utterance came forth:

"Well, summer is about over and you're heading back to college,
and I just
wondered, uh, well, you know, um, what did you have in
mind about us? I
mean, uh, you know, I want us to keep this going
long distance, and, uh, be
just you and me, you know, I mean, ex -
clusively, because, I, uh, have no
interest in anyone else."

There. In all its poetic beauty, it was out in the open. The tears of joy
should be flowing soon.

She sat there, staring forward, not responding. Were my words hanging in
air, or had they been blown away, dispersed into tiny particles among the
dragonflies and mimosas? Maybe she couldn't quite make out what I'd said
from all the wind noise, since usually when someone bares their soul there
is some acknowledgement of the fact.

"Well, what do you think over there?" I asked again. "Yoo-hoo! Because
like, you know, very happy with all of this, you know, me and you and us,
this whole thing." I motioned with my hand, pointing back and forth between
her and me, a little sign lingo for clarification.

"Oh, this is great," she said. "I really like you and I'm having so much
fun." OK, I thought, fun is good, but theme parks are fun. We're not on
vacation, though. I have a destination in mind and it's not Disneyland.

"But I don't think I'm ready to be exclusive."



Moses in Reverse

In light of news reports indicating an outright victory for Hamas in the
recent Palestinian elections, Arafat's legacy acquires a heightened

The death of Yasser Arafat brings to a close one of the most tumultuous
tragic lives of our times. The man William Safire would label "the only
lifelong terrorist to win a Nobel Peace Prize" was a man of contradictions
and controversy from the very start, and his death raises many questions
about the future of the Palestinian people he led for almost forty years.



Word Quiz 1.27.6

These words come from a recent memoir
"Kiss Me Like a Stranger." How many
you know?

1. patsy (n.) - A: desert flower. B: flat pile of meat.
C: sucker. D: microscopic garment.

2. valet (n.) - A: royal aide. B: new soldier. C: personal
assistant. D: clown.

3. angora (n.) - A: tight-fitting sweater. B: expensive
hanky. C: pink hue. D: animal hair used for wool.

4. deftly (adv.) - A: skillfully. B: silently. C: laboriously.
D: lazily.

5. analogy (n.) - A: cause of sneezing and watery eyes.
B: comparison. C: invitation. D: explanation.

6. audacity (n.) - A: keen sense of hearing. B: premonition.
C: boldness. D: despair.

7. depleted (adj.) - A: drained. B: filled. C: damaged.
D: impure.

8. gallantry (n.) - A: courteous act. B: foolish act.
C: unusual act. D: two-handled jug.

9. sullen (adj.) - A: gloomy. B: dirty. C: abandoned. D: hot.

10. malarkey (n.) - A: infectious disease. B: loud cough.
C: nonsense. D: insecticide.

11. ascension (n.) - A: claim. B: act of rising. C: act of
lowering down. D: insult.

12. palette (n.) - A: racket used for sports. B: pale hue.
C: wooden platform. D: painter's tool.

13. compulsion (n.) - A: distaste. B: irresistible impulse.
C: forced act. D: anxiety over a likely result.

14. endemic (adj.) - A: rapid. B: swollen. C: native to.
D: uncharacteristic of.

15. impregnable (adj.) - A: barren. B: easily persuaded.
C: skeptical. D: impenetrable.

16. guttural (adj.) - A: related to the shoreline. B: from
the throat. C: associated with the gutter. D: talkative.




1) cantankerous kan tangkeress (adjective) : easily angered
and difficult to get along with
Mid-18th century.

Origin uncertain: probably a blend of
rancorous and an unknown
element (or perhaps via Middle
English contekour "brawler"
from assumed Anglo-Norman
contek "strife."

2) judder judder (intransitive verb)
: to shake or vibrate violently
and rapidly, or to move
while shaking Mid-20th century. An
imitation of the sound.


F-22 & B-2
The World's Best






"When teachers in 1940 were asked to identify top problems in
the public schools, they said, 'talking out of turn, chewing gum,
making noise.'
In 1990, teachers said, 'drug and alcohol abuse,
pregnancy, suicide, rape,
robbery, and assault.'"



A tour bus load full of noisy UNC students arrives at Runnymede,

They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot
where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta."

One Sophomore pushing his way to the front of the crowd asks,
"When did that happen?"

"1215," answers the guide.

The student looks at his watch and says, "Shoot! Just missed it
by a half hour!"


For University Students & Faculty

Stay Connected




A baby penguin walks into a bar and says to the bartender,
"Have you seen my dad?"

The bartender says, "What does he look like?"


Two UNC student travelers, obviously nervous about their flight,
bought some flight insurance at the terminal.

They couldn't decide who to name as beneficiaries, however.

They ended up each naming the other and happily boarded the plane.


Have you heard about the amazing new discovery?

It's a pill that is half aspirin and half glue for people
who have splitting headaches.



Earthquakes can strike without warning, and being prepared for such a
disaster can mean the difference between life and death. Here are some
tips to help you and your loved ones make it through a quake:

~ Those living in areas not prone to earthquakes can respond quickly to
the plight of disaster victims in quake zones by complacently smirking and
saying, "I told you so."

~ To minimize loss and damage in a quake, try not to own things.

~ Practice your burrowing-out-from-under-40-tons-of-rubble skills ahead of time.

~ Look out your window often. If you see a large, zig-zag-shaped crevasse
moving rapidly from the horizon toward your home, step either to the right or the left.

~ Do you have a treasured childhood toy? Perhaps a stuffed animal, such
as a teddy bear? Well, let's see Mr. Bear help you now!

~ For those who fear earthquakes, it may comfort you to know that a
majority of the damage during the 1906 San Francisco earthquake did not
come from the tremors themselves. Instead, it was from the raging,
out-of-control fires that consumed most of the city.

~ A doorway is the safest place to be during a quake. Eat, sleep, and work in doorways.

~ Be sure to mail your house-insurance payments a full five business days
before a major earthquake strikes.

~ In the event of a quake, get under something heavy, such as a desk, a
table, or your boss.

~ If you are caught in a major earthquake in Southern California and are
part of the entertainment industry, take a moment or two to reflect on
how grossly you've wasted your life.

* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That H Enjoys" Below * * *

* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

December 26   January 02   January 09   January 16   January 23   January 30   February 06   February 13   February 20   February 27   March 06   March 13   March 20   March 27   April 03   April 10   April 17   April 24   May 01   May 08   May 15   May 22   May 29   June 05   June 19   June 26   July 03   July 10   July 17   July 24   July 31   August 07   August 21   August 28   September 04   September 11   September 18   September 25   October 02   October 09   October 16   October 23   October 30   November 06   November 13   November 20   November 27   December 04   December 11   December 18   December 25   January 01   January 08   January 15   January 22   January 29   February 05   February 12   February 19   December 30  

Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

Bible Study Info

Christian Web Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Crowd

Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Music That Ho Enjoys

God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O


The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond



Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn


Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue



Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much






Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!



The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


Click Here

Verse of the Day

* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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