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We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/















The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************

Saturday

 

The New Alphabet

.






 






 


A UNC student in tears called her father.

"What's the matter?" asked the father.

"You gave me some bad financial advise," she said.

"I did? What did I tell you?"

"You told me to put my money in that big bank,
and now that big bank is in trouble."

"What are you talking about, that's one of the largest
banks in the world," he said, "surely there must be
some mistake."

"I don't think so," said the girl, "they just returned
one of my checks
with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."







 

Don't Make Her Mad

.

VIDEO!!!






 

Support Our Troops Overseas

.


The war against terror is underway. Show your support
and help boost our troops' morale. Drop a service member
or a branch of service a quick note of thanks.

WRITE!!!







 


~ A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Typical pessimist pictured above -
not intended to relate to any particular person.
It is our belief that all Americans love babies
(even before they are born), believe our children
should be free to pray in school, support our troops
and would never do anything just for political gain -
even if it meant siding with our enemies - the terrorist.
(Yeah right!!!)







 

A Real Man's Guide
To Household Tools:

.


You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and it shouldn't, use Duct Tape.






 


Howdy was recently walking through the jungle **
& found a huge dead dinosaur with a UNC* student
standing beside it. Amazed, Howdy asked: "Did you
kill that?". The UNC student said "Yes."



Howdy asked "How could a little guy like you kill
a huge beast like that?"



Said the student: "I killed it with my club."

Howdy, astonished, asked: "How big is your club?"

The UNC student replied: "There's about 60 of us."



________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.S. B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

**Not P.C. -
Please replace with "Rain Forrest"!!!
- The Board






 

FROM ROMANCE TO HELL

.



What does "I love you" mean? Why does God let so many
religions exist? Theo takes on some more tough questions.

MORE!!!







 






 
The image “http://www.oxfordlearning.com/images/teen_guy.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Dear Friends,

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the
Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, Who
comforts
us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort
those in any
trouble with the comfort we ourselves have
received from God.


Paul



2C2






 






Wednesday

 

Howdy Exercising







 


A UNC student went into a bank to withdraw some money.

"Can you identify yourself?" asked the bank clerk.

The student pulls a mirror out of her handbag, looks into
it and says, "Yes, it's me alright."






 






 


Dear Howdy,

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria.
He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working.

Love your blog!!!
Fred M.






 


Q: Why did the UNC linebacker steal a police car?
A: He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.






 


Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?






 

SONGS FROM THE HOSPITAL HIT PARADE

.


"I'll be Sewing You"
"Red Cells in the Sunset"
"It's Spleen a Long, Long Time"



"It Had to Be Flu"
"On the Bonny Banks of Glaucoma"
"Gonna Take a Sentimental Gurney"



"The Staphs and Streps Forever"
"Old Man's Liver"
"I've Grown Accustomed to Her Brace"
"The Girl From Emphysema"



"MRI Blue?"
"My Melancolicky Baby"
"From Here to Maternity"







 

Riddles For 11.9.5

.


1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?



3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate
the October Revolution?



5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are
named after what animal?



7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What colour is a purple finch?



9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) With pointed fangs it sits and waits,
With piercing force its doles out fate,
Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,
Eternally joining in a single bite.
What am I?

ANSWERS!!!






 

The Good Samaritan

.
The image “http://www.wallacecollection.org/c/w_a/p_w_d/d_f/jpg/p203.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho,
and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes
and money, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.
By chance a Jewish priest came along; but when he saw the man
lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed
him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying
there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised
Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt deep
pity. Kneeling beside him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds
with medicine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on
his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care
of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two pieces
of silver and told him to take care of the man. "If his bill
runs higher than that," he said, "I'll pay the difference the
next time I am here."

Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor
to the man who was attacked by bandits?

MORE!!!






 

Civilization Under Siege
The Riots In Paris

.

Even as many in the Western media attempt to downplay the extent and nature
of this violence, the smoke is spreading, and the debris is mounting. The
world has watched as France has been thrown into a state of emergency, with
riots, street fighting, and arson enveloping entire neighborhoods. The weak,
slow, and confused response of the French government has only exacerbated
the problem. Even as the government declared a state of emergency, French
authorities still deny the extent of the disorder.

For years now, observers have warned that Europe has put itself in a
position of tremendous vulnerability. Even as European birth rates have
fallen below population replacement levels, immigrants, largely from Muslim
lands, have been eagerly received and put to work. In one sense, many
Western European nations built the economic expansions they experienced
during the 1960s and 1970s on a base of immigrant labor.

MORE!!!






 



Dear Howdy,

With all of the various religions out there to choose from, why
should I become a Christian? What distinguishes Christianity
from all the other worldviews?

Christianity is unique among the world's religions for several important
reasons -- not the least of which being that Christianity, unlike other
religions, is historic and evidential. Jesus of Nazareth is a historical
figure. He was, of course, born in Bethlehem in Judea during the reign of
Caesar Augustus and was put to death by Pontius Pilate, a first century
Roman Governor. More important, the testimony of His life, death, and
resurrection comes to us by way of eyewitness accounts (1 John 1:1-4).
Therefore, Christianity is a historic faith and its claims can be validated
by examining the testimony of history. None of the other religions of the
world can claim this kind of historical support.

Another unique feature of Christianity is that its founder claimed to be God
(John 8:58). Of the great religious leaders of the world (Buddha, Moses,
Zoroaster, Lao Tzu, Mohammed), only Jesus claimed to be God in human flesh
(Mark 14:62). Yet far from being an empty claim, His historically verifiable
resurrection from the dead vindicated His claim to deity (Rom 1:4; 1 Cor.
15:3-8). Other religions, like Buddhism and Islam, claim miracles in support
of their faith, but unlike Christianity, these miracles lack historical
verification.

Finally, an additional feature setting Christianity apart from other
religions is that it is a coherent belief system. Some Christian doctrines
might transcend complete comprehension, but unlike the claims of many
religions, they are not irrational or absurd. Furthermore, the Christian
faith is unique in that it can account for the vast array of phenomena that
we encounter in everyday life: the laws of science, the universal laws of
logic, ethical norms, love, the meaning in life, and the problem of evil and
human suffering. So to state it philosophically: The Christian faith
corresponds with the present state of affairs.

Hank Hanegraaff














* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That H Enjoys" Below * * *

* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

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Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

Bible Study Info

Christian Web Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Crowd

Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions

RBC

Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*

Fireworks

Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}





Music That Ho Enjoys



God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O

LawOrder

The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond

Jaws

Magnum

Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn

Rocky

Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue

Downtown

Elvis

Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge

Malagueña

Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Charade

The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me

SWonderful

Adios

A Foggy Day

Amor

Anna

Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band

Bolero

Brazil

Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore

Solace

Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley

Tequila

That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much

I WALK THE LINE

EL PASO

TENNESSEE WALTZ

STAND BY YOUR MAN

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know

Fascination

I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain

CanadianSunset

It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'

Wanted

No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love

Sincerely

Sweetheart

In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart

HeartOfMyHeart

Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...

Unforgettable

Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young

Because

Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas

Windy

My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember

HernandosHideaway

Be My Love

Embassy Waltz

Misty

A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink

Downtown

Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer

Lollipops

Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight

Frenesi

Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Misty

Gina

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely

Pachelbel

Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II

Rawhide

I Walk The Line


God loves you so much that He died for you!!!



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Verse of the Day




* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.




D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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