We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/
The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.
************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************
Saturday
Click on the envelope just below
and send to all your friends!!!
Friday
Eight Difficult Questions For Your Friends
1) What's the best month to be in a parade?
2) Who grants wishes for fish?
3) What can be served but not eaten?
4) What kind of stories does a ship captain tell his children?
5) What do dogs eat at the cinema?
6) Why did Mickey Mouse travel into space?
7) What can go up and down without moving?
8) What do snakes do after they fight?
(Find answers below)
UNC Grad Hunter
Thursday
(Please excuse Left - Right Brain Concept - no scientific proof)
Is The "X" All one Color?
That sign is there for a REASON
Wednesday
Dinosaur bones—just how old are they really?
Future UNC Cheerleader
Tuesday
RIDDLES
1) It runs and runs but can never flee.
It is often watched, yet never sees.
When long it brings boredom,
When short it brings fear.
What is it?
2) With no wings, I fly.
With no eyes, I see.
With no arms, I climb.
More frightening than any beast,
stronger than any foe.
I am cunning, ruthless, and tall;
in the end, I rule all.
What am I?
3) Each word or group of words is printed so that it stands
for a familiar phrase. Can you guess what that phrase is.
A)
PANTS
PANTS
B)
YOUR HAT
KEEP IT
C) ENGAGE MENT
D) EVERY/RIGHT/THING
E)
ONE ANOTHER
ONE ANOTHER
ONE ANOTHER
ONE ANOTHER
ONE ANOTHER
ONE ANOTHER
(Answers are below - look for the UNC prof.)
Guess Who???
Who Can This Be?
So the men marveled, saying, "Who
can this be, that even the winds and
the sea obey Him?" - - Mt 8:27
The only thing more terrifying that
having a storm outside the boat was
having God inside the boat!
- - Dr. John MacArthur
Howdy On The Way To Work
If I End Up Like Terri:
An Open Letter to My Wife
RANDOM TIDBITS
.
Dwight David Eisenhower was the first American president
to hold an airplane pilot's license.
In 1803, North Carolina (not California) was the site of
first U.S. gold rush. The state supplied all the domestic
gold coined for currency by the US Mint in Philadelphia
until 1828
Antarctica is 98% ice, 2% barren rock. The average thickness
of the ice sheet is 7,200 feet; this amounts to 90% of all
the ice and 70% of all the fresh water in the world. If the
ice cap were to melt, the sea level would rise by an average
of 230 feet.
A Club Med survey found that couples who dieted while on
vacation argued three times more often than those who didn't,
and that those who didn't diet had three times as many
romantic interludes.
The Eiffel Tower is painted approximately once every 7 years
and requires nearly 50 tons of paint each time. It is one
of the most popular tourist attractions in Paris, visited
by more than six million people per year.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what
you do not understand." Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)
Dwight David Eisenhower was the first American president
to hold an airplane pilot's license.
In 1803, North Carolina (not California) was the site of
first U.S. gold rush. The state supplied all the domestic
gold coined for currency by the US Mint in Philadelphia
until 1828
Antarctica is 98% ice, 2% barren rock. The average thickness
of the ice sheet is 7,200 feet; this amounts to 90% of all
the ice and 70% of all the fresh water in the world. If the
ice cap were to melt, the sea level would rise by an average
of 230 feet.
A Club Med survey found that couples who dieted while on
vacation argued three times more often than those who didn't,
and that those who didn't diet had three times as many
romantic interludes.
The Eiffel Tower is painted approximately once every 7 years
and requires nearly 50 tons of paint each time. It is one
of the most popular tourist attractions in Paris, visited
by more than six million people per year.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what
you do not understand." Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)
Archives
Great Cartoons, Humor and Thought - BLOG Updated Hourly!!!
Special Star Wars Issue!
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper
featuring 'Thought & Humor'
by Howdy
Double Click on Mouse For Award Winning BLOG -
updated daily with great cyber humor, cartoons, cyber
thought & riddles: http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Double click above link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
(Keep your speaker on to hear some of Howdy's music)
===============
This Week's Issue Is Packed With:
1) Great Humor
2) Thought
3) Riddles
4) Word Puzzles
5) Letters
6) Trivia
7) Much More
===============
Here's a way you can tell your
friends/family about 'T & H' -
just click on one of the envelopes
at the end of a joke, cartoon,
article that you like on the blog
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===============
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your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqué
located below. Even UNC Sophomores can do it...
===============
Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
CyberCartoons, CyberHumor & CyberThought daily.
Please post at your school/work site.
===============
'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
Howdy's address: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
Cindy - 40's - FL - Married, 501 (c) (3) Corp.
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Judy - 60's - TX - Retired School Administrator
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 20's - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 30's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 30's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Aiken Drum, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2004
for our readers' protection.
===============
Below issue from Archives - 3 years back!!!
Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all 100,000+ readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your weekly
entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic but never nefarious,
prurient, besmeared, or perfidious and delivered free to offices, homes & dorms...
====================
Riddles:
1) Wheresoever I may be,
Every man must follow me;
He must go where I may lead,
Though it be to change his creed.
Though I vary in my size,
I am still beneath your eyes;
and though you may go astray,
I must ever lead the way.
Every creature in the land,
Has me close at his command,
For I lead to things unseen,
By my properties so keen.
What am I?
2) What eats, breaths, and dies yet never lives?
3) A perching barrel, filled with meat,
Taking hits from leaps and dives.
Look inside, but do not eat,
The meat in there is still alive!
4) A man is pushing his car. He stops in front of a hotel
and immediately knows he is bankrupt. How did he know?
Answers are below - way below!
===============
See Letters To Howdy Way Below!!!
Phil even tells him to go to you know where!!!
===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your entertainment!?!
===============
*A shrimp sole my girl; I lobster and haven't flounder!
===============
SCHOOL DIRECTORY
http://www.asd.com/
The American School Directory contains data on any K-12
school. View the event list and locate alumni.
KIDS SITE: COOL GAMES
http://www.cogcon.com/gamegoo/gooey.html
This educational site teaches word games. The graphics
and animation are amusing for grown-ups and kids.
FREE SITE: MAG-LITE
http://www.mcafeeb2b.com/om/tscan.asp?code=ts12
Take a survey and get a free Mag-Lite. You never
know when you’ll need a flashlight. While supplies last.
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
Subscribe: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However
a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
===============
An Envoy Reports and a Letter Is Sent:
Signs of Hope for Sudan
Fueled by oil money, the Islamic government in Sudan continues its
reign of terror against Christians and animists. The eighteen-year-old
civil war that has already claimed 2 million lives and left 4.5 million
people displaced and homeless rages on.
Last September, in a Rose Garden ceremony attended by a number of
BreakPoint and Wilberforce Forum staff members, President Bush named
Senator John Danforth special envoy for peace in Sudan. Two weeks ago,
Danforth made his report to the President.
"The human suffering I witnessed was staggering," he said. "I talked to
people who had been attacked by government helicopters and had fled to
the bush with nothing but the clothes on their backs. I talked to
others who had been abducted by marauding Arab raid! ers, subjected to
unspeakable brutality, separated from their children and reduced to
lives of servitude."
He reported on the government-sanctioned slavery that some in Congress
and the media have attempted to deny. "The record is clear," said
Danforth. "The Government arms and directs marauding raiders who
operate in the south, destroying villages and abducting women and
children to serve as chattel servants, herders and field hands."
The report rightly states that the United States can't impose a
settlement on Sudan. We can, however, encourage the government and
forces in the south to reach an agreement.
Which brings me to the Sudan Peace Act. The Sudan Peace Act passed the
House of Representatives on June 13, 2001, and the Senate on July 19,
2001. And then it stopped. The bill never got to conference so that
House and Senate members could hammer ou! t the differences between their
respective versions. Why not? Because the Senate never appointed
conferees, because of the opposition of some Senate Republicans and the
White House, which dislikes sanctions.
Now in a May 21 letter, the Congressional Black Caucus called on Senate
Majority Leader Tom Daschle to break the deadlock and appoint
conferees. "Sudan's forgotten war," they wrote, "may not be of
geopolitical interest to the U.S., but it is in our vital national
moral interest. These victims are Africans without important
constituencies to argue their case, except for the courageous church
groups, NGOs [non-governmental organizations], and human rights
activists who continue to fight for the helpless and for a just peace
in Sudan."
They also made reference to capital market sanctions -- a key provision
of the House bill, but one that was excised in the Senate ve! rsion. The
government terror in Sudan depends on oil money. Capital market
sanctions would bar companies doing business with Sudan from U.S. stock
exchanges. Talisman Energy, one such company, admits that this would be
intolerable and would force them to withdraw from Sudan, cutting off
the flow of cash.
Senator Danforth is right: If we expect to see peace in Sudan, the
Sudanese must work out their own terms. But the Congressional Black
Caucus is also right: The Sudan Peace Act with capital market sanctions
is what is needed to get both sides to the table and end eighteen years
of genocide, terrorism, and slavery. A call or letter to your senator
can help. Will you do this for the persecuted church?
Take action:
Urge your senators to call for the appointment of conferees who will
ensure sanctions are included in the Sudan Peace Act. Call the Capitol
switchboard at (202) 224-3121.
For more information:
John C. Danforth, "Report to the President of the United States on the
Outlook for Peace in Sudan," released May 14, 2002:
.
==============================================
Chuck Colson is coming to Dallas and Minneapolis!
One-Day BreakPoint Conferences
Saturday, June 15, 2002
"Imago Dei in A.D. 2002: Incarnational Living in a Secular Society"
Conference: 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Las ! Colinas Marriott
223 West Las Colinas Boulevard
Irving, Texas
Speakers include:
J. Kerby Anderson* (President Probe Ministries)
The Hon. Richard Armey (U.S. House of Representatives)
Ken Boa* (President, Reflections Ministries)
Nigel Cameron* (Dean, The Wilberforce Forum)
Chuck Colson* (Chairman, Prison Fellowship Ministries)
William Dembski* (Baylor University)
Mark Earley* (President, Prison Fellowship Ministries)
Marvin Olasky* (Editor, WORLD magazine)
*Confirmed
Register online:
.
Or call 1-888-672-0007 for more information.
Saturday, September 28, 2002
"Living Out Your Worldview @ Street Level"
One-Day Conference: 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Minneapolis Marriott City Center
30! South 7th Street
Minneapolis, MN
Invited speakers include: J. Budziszewski, Nigel Cameron, Chuck Colson,
Joe Loconte, Pat Nolan, and more!
Register online:
.
"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a daily commentary
on news and trends from a Christian perspective.
Heard on more than 1000 radio outlets nationwide,
BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet.
BreakPoint is a production of The Wilberforce Forum,
a division of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
Chairman: Charles W. Colson
Dean: Nigel M. de S. Cameron, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Jim Tonkowich, D.Min.
Senior Writer: Anne Morse
Associate Editor: Roberto Rivera
Associate Producer: Teresa Woodward
Wilberforce New M! edia Editor: Gina Dalfonzo
List Maintainer: Larry Wilson
For product requests or further information,
visit our website at http://www.breakpoint.org
or call 1-800-457-6125 in the United States.
http://www.breakpoint.org/
http://www.wilberforce.org/
http://www.pfm.org/
http://www.angeltree.org/
As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up on the Web site at
www.breakpoint.org. If they do not have access to
the World Wide Web, please call 1-800-457-6125.
==================
Great INFO below (click on Web addresses shown)
==================
"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to
own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and
to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures
and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed
whose God is the Lord." --Abraham Lincoln
==================
A Short Look at Six World Religions:
http://www.probe.org/docs/world.html
==================
Take The Test!!!
www.biblechallenge.org
==================
If you stop believing what your professor told you
had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself
you may come to some conclusions you hadn't
expected. You may find the Bible makes more
sense than you thought or were told to think.
Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard
to what you always thought could be true. Can
you believe what you don't understand?You
and I believe everyday what we don't understand
unless it comes to the issue to salvation. Dr. Woodrow Kroll
==================
Ben Haden (business folks)
==================
Absolutely no one over 16 admitted:
http://www.whitsend.org/
==================
To request Our Daily Bread online:
http://www.rbc.net/order/odb.html
==================
View From The Left (Coast):
http://www.gty.org/Broadcast/transcripts/
==================
NOT A THREAT: THE CONTRIBUTIONS OF CHRISTIANITY
TO WESTERN SOCIETY http://www.probe.org/docs/threat.html
==================
The motto "In God We Trust" was adopted as the US national motto
by President Dwight Eisenhower. History of the adoption of "In God
We Trust": http://www.ustreas.gov/opc/opc0011.html
==================
Hard Questions - Answered:
http://www.SliceOfInfinity.org
==================
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
http://www.actsweb.org/htbs1.htm
or 1-888-NEED-HIM (24/7 - free call)
==================
'Boundless Website' for the
University Crowd: www.boundless.org
==================
Creation, The Flood and Prophecy
http://www.gospelcom.net/shofar/pp/htm/report.shtml
==================
Covenant vs. Dispensationalism http://www.bible.org/docs/theology/dispen/ct.htm
==================
Christian Web Info: http://www.gospelcom.net
==================
The Berean Call Monthly Newsletter -
http://www.thebereancall.org
==================
Don't be left behind: http://www.leftbehind.com
==================
Family WWW Protection: http://www.We-Blocker.com
==================
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch
they die outside. GK Chesterton
==================
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
==================
Who is Jesus? (http://www.ccci.org/whoisjesus/interactive-journey/)
{Double click on the web addresses above for additional information:}
===============
*The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the
feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights. --Habakkuk 3
===============
Questions posed by UNC* grads to the National Park Service...
*Everglades National Park:*
Are the alligators real?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
*Mesa Verde National Park:*
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
*Carlsbad Caverns National Park:*
How much of the cave is underground?
So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
*Yosemite Nation! al Park:*
Where are the cages for the animals?
What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
What happened to the other half of Half Dome?
*Denali National Park:*
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
*Yellowstone National Park:*
Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are
the exits?
________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.S. B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State. Above
questions are genuine but Howdy added the part about UNC-
can anyone guess why??? Send Howdy your answer.
===============
*The hardest decision in life is when to start middle age.
===============
Due to the fact that America is now at war, all military personel
may receive 'Thought & Humor' FREE. Send their e-mail address
for their free subscription to: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
*A DESIGNER WORLD
by John D. Martin, Ph.D.
Evidence is mounting that the earth didn't develop by accident. But the more
the evidence points to God, the more desperately some academics try to deny it.
http://www.boundless.org/2001/features/a0000600.html
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads
to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the
gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few
find it. --Matthew 7
===============
*"In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such
things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate
enough." --Will Rogers
===============
Money may talk, but it seems to be hard of hearing when I call it.
===============
A famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to
Arlington National Cemetery. All the airlines were booked
and there were no planes available. Someone came up
with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at five a.m.
and startled the city awake. Just goes to show you that
the whirly bird gets the urn.
===============
Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', please
explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They always get it backwards.......
===============
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure...
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway...
Boycott shampoo... Demand REAL poo!
===============
Want to help a friend or family member? Want to help us?
Sure you do! You are the very best!
Just click the Forward button in your e-mail program and
send 'Thought & Humor' to all in your address book. Before
sending you may wish to click on "format" and then "plain text".
Or if you want, send Howdy the e-mail addresses of people
who you think would like this free e-mail newspaper
to your-bestfriend4u@juno.com. Thank you!
===============
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things
around the house that he used to do. After the examination he
said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Just tell me straight out, in
plain English, what is wrong with me."
"In plain English?" the doctor said, shrugging his shoulders,
"You're just lazy!"
"Okay..." said the man, rubbing his chin. "Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife."
===============
Address Change
Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this Summer should
your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address at:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes, and Howdy...
===============
It was a hot and humid August afternoon, when I
decided to visit my girl friend, Susie who was a
recent UNC grad. Beautiful and resourceful, Susie
had decided to repaint her kitchen herself instead
of hiring a professional. I thought she might
appreciate a break and brought over some iced
tea and some sandwiches.
When I arrived, I found Susie working hard, painting
the kitchen walls. To my utter amazement, instead of
wearing old clothes, she was wearing her fur coat and
her ski parka. I asked her why she was dressed that
way on such a hot day. She brought me the paint
bucket and told me to read the instructions. I did.
There was the explanation for me in black and white.
It said..."For best results, put on two coats."
===============
*Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may
have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
--Colossians 3
===============
Got a question? Maybe a librarian can help! QuestionPoint
is an alliance of libraries.
The service is accessed through local libraries’ Web sites. If
the local library can’t answer the question, or is closed, the
query will be passed on to a facility with expertise in that
area. There is no charge to the user. Check it out here:
http://www.questionpoint.org
===============
Several years ago when a well-known actress made her plea for funding and
awareness of a particular disease, congressional committee chambers were
packed to capacity and surrounded by cameras. A stark contrast was seen
when an unknown woman suffering with Parkinson’s disease made her
appearance: hers was a reception of chairs left empty by legislators.
Remarked a congressman on ABC’s 20/20: “If you have the politically correct
disease, the prospects of getting federal funding to help find the cure are
100 times greater than if you have some other disease, even though it may
be a much more common disease.”
The irrationality of this goes beyond disease, does it not. By granting
the celebrity such esteem we seem unable to distinguish bet! ween a glamorous
skill we admire and the entirety of the person, as though artistry empowers
one to be a guru for all matters. Whether one is an actor or an athlete,
we are imperiled if we forget that giftedness says absolutely nothing about
a person’s integrity or wisdom.
We are now, by design, a culture steeped in manufacturing icons. Some time
ago one such person, whose only act on stage was to turn the words of an
alphabet and look happy while doing so, wrote her autobiography. The
demand was so great that it went into a second printing very quickly. One
major news anchorman marveled and wondered what prompted such fawning by
the masses for a skill as childish as that. He said it was an indictment
against their own profession--that it did not take much to be a hero.
Transference of authority is a scary phenomenon in our time. Being a great
entertainer is just that—a great entertainer. Let us not transfer
greatness across from one point to another without scrutinizing the
reasoning behind the recognizable face. Our judgements are in danger if
our heroes are influential only because they are well known. Jesus’ words
are striking: “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous
judgment.” He also goes on to say that we look at the outward, but God
looks at the heart.
Let us not miss the responsibility of judging an idea by the test of truth
and wisdom by foolishly being seduced at the altar of the popular. Life,
dear friend is more than glamour and substance is more than image.
Ravi Zacharias http://www.sliceofinfinity.org
===============
Overworked!
------------
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and
too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real
reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do
the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal
government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are
in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State
and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving
1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do t! he work. You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.
Howdy
===============
All those "thou shalt nots" can be intimidating at first. But behind
each one is God's love and wisdom. God presented the Ten Commandments
to guide us and protect us from choices He knows will harm us.
===============
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!
===============
SUBJECT: BUYING BREAD
We learn something new every day! If you
buy bread, look at the twist-tie at the end
of the loaf.
When you go to buy bread in the grocery
store, have you ever wondered which is
the freshest? You probably "squeeze"
for freshness or softness.
Did you know that bread is delivered
fresh to the stores five days a week?
These days are Monday, Tuesday,
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Each
day has a different color twist-tie on
the bread. They are:
Monday----Blue
Tuesday----Green
Thursday---Red
Friday------White
Saturday----Yellow
The colors go alphabetically by color as shown
above. This makes it very easy to remember.
(Place a post-it note in your wallet so you will not forget.)
Enjoy fresh bread by buying it with the right color when you shop!
(Bill R.)
===============
Since the end of World War II, commencement ceremonies have been the
occasion for some of the most memorable and important speeches of our
time. Nowadays, people are looking star power, combined with the ability
to "amuse the grads."
===============
"Thought & Humor" is now read in all 50 States,
48 Countries, 6 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!
Does anybody know someone in the 7th Continent
so that we can make it 7???
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought &
Humor" and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) UT
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Environmental Whackos
6) Moderates & Liberals (Lo, they are one & the same)
7) All paying ACLU members & officers
8) Members of NOW whose weight exceeds 190 lbs.
9) Any and all persnickety individuals
10) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, Wake Forest, Villanova, Miss. State or Villanova.
===============
A musician is hot and tired after the gig, so he pulls
into the 7-11 to get a cold drink. While he's buying
his slurpee, he suddenly realizes that he spaced
out -- the accordion is in the back seat, in full view!
He rushes out of the store... but it's too late. Someone
has already broken the car window.......
and left another accordion.
===============
August, 1846
German composer Felix Mendelssohn's "Elijah" premiered at the
Birmingham Festival, England. One of the most dramatic oratorios
ever written, "Elijah" narrates the events in the life of the
biblical character Elijah.
Mendelssohn died at the young age of 38:
http://www.sirius.com/~arts/mendbio.html
===============
Listen with RealAudio!
http://www.gospelcom.net/rhm/sounds/awwy/awwy4020.ram
When my friend Larry isn't running his business, he can often be
found riding his bicycle. We're talking serious biking here, not just the
leisurely around-the-block stuff. He and his friends have covered a lot of
America on the their bicycles, conquering all kinds of challenges. Like big
hills, for example. Now, any of us who has ever ridden a bike knows that it'
s the hills that bite your leg muscles. As you're riding, you see this
mountain looming in front of you. OK, it's a hill, but your mind is thinking
"mountain." My friend told me a fundamental "big hill" principle that he has
discovered - and that he passes on to other bikers. "T! he longer you look,
the bigger it gets!"
You may be facing one of life's big hills right now - financially,
medically, in your family, or your ministry, your work. And right now you've
stopped pedaling, you're looking at how big that hill is - and the longer
you look, the bigger it's getting. And the weaker and more paralyzed you're
feeling.
That must have been how God's ancient people felt when they looked
at the challenges of the land God had promised them - walled cities,
barbarian armies, intimidating giants, and a big piece of occupied ground.
God knows how we feel when we're staring at those big hills. In our word for
today from the Word of God - Deuteronomy 7, beginning in verse 17, God says:
"You may say to yourselves, 'These nations are stronger than we are. How can!
we drive them out?' Do not be terrified by them, for the Lord your God, who
is among you, is a great and awesome God. The Lord your God will drive out
those nations before you, little by little.'"
OK, first, you have to remember Who's going to conquer that hill -
it's not going to be you - so your limitations are not an issue here. It's
going to "the Lord your God." I love that phrase. "The Lord" - that's the
One who created and controls over a hundred billion galaxies! Then, "your
God." Yes! The Lord who rules the galaxies is my God. He is so big - and He'
s so close!
Secondly - as you're staring at that hill you've got in front of
you, remember how God is going to help you conquer this challenge - "little
by little." He's not going to do it all at once. He's asking you to take it
in bite-size ch! unks. Now, my bicycling friend says that rather than looking
at the top of the hill, he looks at the short distances in front of him.
That's how you conquer your hill. Jesus asks us to take up our cross, not
all at once, but "daily." (Luke 9:23) Your job is just to do today -
faithfully and positively.
The size of life's hills often keeps us from facing what we need to
be dealing with - issues in our family, our marriage, our spending, the care
of your body, that habit, or even something Jesus has been asking you to do
for Him. And the longer you look at the hill, the bigger it gets. But the
longer you look at the God you belong to, the bigger He gets. You've been
looking at the wrong thing - fixated on the problem or the challenge, or the
people, and missing the awesome size of your God!
Let today b! e Day One of you tackling that hill. Just look at the
short distance immediately in front of you - this one day. And open yourself
up to the strength of God that we only experience when we know we can't do
it. Look at the size of your Lord, not the size of your hill! Today's
looming challenge is going to be tomorrow's amazing conquest!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Discuss today's "A Word With You," post your comments, or encourage others
in our discussion forum!
http://forums.gospelcom.net/view/rhm/awwy
To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,
please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT
RELATIONSHIP at:
http://www.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bounce?b=871
Or, call 1-888-NEED HIM.
===============
If you would like to write Howdy for anything other
than unsubscribing (which is done automatically through
Yahoo), send a nice or fussy e-mail to the following:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
NICE LETTERS:
Dear Howdy,Here is something I subscribe to.
Christian Quotation of the Day
Let God operate in thee; Hand the work over to Him and do
not disquiet thyself as to whether or no He is working with
nature or above nature, for His are both nature and grace.
... Meister Eckhart (1260?-1327?)
Phillip G. (M.W.A.)
FUSSY LETTERS:
Please note that our policy only allows for us to receive
threats on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning...
Howdy, Do not send me anymore email. I do not agree with your ideas and do not
want to see your name on my mail list. TAKE ME OFF OF YOUR LIST GAA (Angelo)
"Unsubscribe" info is at the end of this & every 'Thought & Humor".
+++
Howdy,
Please delete me from your mailing list. I get over 100 emails
per day and do not even have time to answer the ones that pertain
to my work for sorting through the ones I can do without. I am very
private about my religion, faith and spirituality. So no one is going to
convert me to anything I am not already.
Sue P.
Dear Sue P., If you happen to ever give your life to the
One who loves you so much that He died for you, you
will find that He instructed His followers to be very public
about their religion, faith & spirituality...
Your Devoted Friend,
Howdy
P.S. "Unsubscribe" info is at the end of this & every 'Thought & Humor".
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Folks, These type letters are normally in
our "Board of Directors" division however we thought
many of you would like a peek into what happens
over there on the 53rd floor. If you like lively
debates & discussion, then why not subscribe at:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
We don't always agree with every letter & certainly
don't want to BASH the Catholic church because so
many pretty girls go to their schools. Ever notice???
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Howdy,
Beware, for you are going to go to hell! Repent and become Catholic
RIGHT NOW!!! It is the ONLY way, and I mean ONLY!!!! Jesus
gave the power of GOD to Peter who founded the first church (Peter
means "rock" and his church is built on this "rock"-- and not your
shifty protestant sand) so that everyone could come to it to be
SAVED from HELL by his LOVING GRACE. This church is what
is nowadays known as the Roman Catholic Church, the only True
Church which can trace its roots back to JESUS HIMSELF!!!
This means that all off-shoots and spin-offs of this ONE TRUE
AND ORIGINAL CHURCH are actually regressions AWAY from
GOD and his LOVING STUPENDOUSNESS. Think about this for
a moment; why would you willingly move AWAY from GOD and his
ONLY TRUE CHURCH?? You have been led astray, but there is
still time to "get good with GOD". Become Catholic, you won't
regret it. The sacraments are very important and you should receive
GOD and THE HOLY SPIRIT into your worthless, soon-to-be-maggot-ridden
flesh everyday if possible, but at least once a week. It is the ONLY
way. Read the bible, it says so. Okay, I will pray for you.
Good-bye,
Phil S. (M.S.U.)
Dear Phil S.,
Thanks for writing? Where or when did I say I was a Protestant?
You are trusting in a church to save you & I'm trusting in Jesus
Christ ALONE as presented in His Book. Remember that going
into a church (Presbyterian/Catholic/Baptist/Methodist/etc.) doesn't
make one a Christian any more than sticking one's head in an
oven makes one a COOKIE.
I appreciate your prayers but may I ask to whom you pray? Who's
name do you use to end the prayer?
As far as the "Rock" business - Peter had just stated that Jesus was
The Messiah & God's Son. Jesus then used a play on words in the
Greek to say: You are Peter (small rock) and upon this big rock/boulder
(Peter's statement) I will build MY CHURCH. He was going to build
His church on Peter's statement which is The Bible not some building
or group of men. By the way, did you happen to know that Peter
had a mother-n-law which means that he was married???
See Jesus instructions in His Book below where you see: Four important things to KNOW
Your Devoted Friend,
Howdy
P.S. I would run from any church that claims to have a corner on the truth.
Heaven will be filled with many believers who once were Baptist, Catholics,
Mormons, Arabs, Jews, Presbyterians, Methodist. They will have been
asked only one question, "What did you personally do with your opportunity
to give your complete life to Jesus Christ & take Him up on his offer for
forgiveness of each's very own sins/mistakes/crimes/bad acts?
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads
to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the
gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few
find it. --Matthew 7
+++
Bishops to Vote on Sex Abuse Policy
DALLAS (AP) - Hoping to end a crisis they admit was of their
own making, America's Roman Catholic bishops appeared poised
Friday to approve a clerical sex abuse policy that would remove
all molesters from parish life and kick most abusers out of the priesthood.
+++
Other comments about our friend Phi S. from the "FRIENDS" Division on the 53rd Floor:
Howdy,
I love your news letter, but I am writing today to
write back to Phil.
Phil,
I want you to think of one thing. God is love, and if
your church teaches to judge others and tell them they
will "rot in hell" then I want nothing to do with your
religion, nor would most I would think. You talk of
the Bible, yet you judge when you know God is the only
one who should. Be careful what you say, the Bible
says that what men speak of is what comes from the
heart, and yours my friend is cloudy. Jesus is Lord,
not Catholicism. You are a fool, and I pray that you
ask Jesus Christ our Savior for forgiveness, for you
know not of what you are doing.
God Bless,
Adam
+++
Howdy,
I often delete your e-mails, but today I deceided to read. I opened
a page to find many people bashing what you are doing, preaching
or openly discussing your love and faith in Christ. You mentioned
in rebute to a letter that you were going to hell that you would not
go to a church that says they corner the truth on religion and that
you simply believe in Jesus. AMEN to that!!! For years I had been
surronded by Babtist who were confinced I was going to Hell, but I
know that my faith and love for Jesus is all I need.
Thanks,
Christine
+++
Howdy,
Interesting letter from Phil S. He seems (as you pointed out) to put his
faith in his church and not his Saviour. I've been studying the passage
that he quotes from for several weeks. (Matt. 16:13-20) A couple things
have stood out to me in this passage. 1.) Peter's confession was at a
place called Caesarea Philippi (sic). This place, at the foot of Mt Hermon,
was known for it's paganism in the ancient Greek world. In fact it was
where the fertility god Pan was said to come and go, through the fast
flowing spring that came out of the rock base of Mt. Hermon, to the
nether world. Much depravity and immorality went on at CP and it could
be looked at as the gates of hell. It was named this by Herod Phillip in
honor of Cesaer and himself. 2.) When Peter made his confession, it
was clearly pointed out by Jesus that what he said wasn't from man's i
nfluence rather from God Himself. 3.) The rock that many biblical
scholars believe Jesus was referring to was metaphorically those rocks
that the stream flowed out of or the gates of hell, not any one person or
church as Phil suggests. 4.) Verse 19 can be looked at as simply this;
whatever we do for God and the Kingdom here on earth your heavenly r
eward (above and beyond heaven itself) will be compounded in heaven.
I would add to your statement that His church was going to built on The
Bible, but also on the faith of the believers to spread this great news.
We, those faithful believers in Jesus are to go out into the world or
"the gates of hell" and beat against it for as long as it takes. Jesus
has already told us that they won't prevail against us!!
Keep up the good work, keep beating against those gates of hell.
Regards,
Steve J
+++
Howdy--today for the first time in several days, I opened your site--
accidentally kind of. Several comments were on today from people
and you said they can unsubscribe if they want. I will only believe
you when you let me do that! I've tried and tried, following directions,
and yet you are still there constantly. Not that I disagree entirely with
what you say--and sometimes it's been quite interesting. (I'm Catholic,
too, by the way.) I say "too" because one of your communications today
said they were, and it was a rather nasty letter to you. I apologize for that
as I like to think today's average Catholic does not criticize other religions!
And so, even though your site can be interesting, mainly I want to receive it
no longer primarily because I don't have time, and it goes on and on sometimes--
very lengthy--and I use my email mostly for business and get enough emails that
take up my time and space.
Thank you.,
Lois
"Unsubscribe" info is at the end of this & every 'Thought & Humor'.
If you are having trouble after this, it means you either have a 'forwarding'
address or your ISP uses different sending & receiving addresses. Ask them why?
+++
Dear Howdy:
Bravo on your reply to Phil, the Catholic who believes only Catholics will
be the only ones in Heaven. If that is the case it may just be a desolate
area. I ask him if his religion is SO GREAT, why is it crumbling? Will the
child molesting priest be sitting next to Jesus at the throne? What about
the Catholics in Jesus days. Will the murders that killed Christians be
there as well? I ask this of Phil. Are all Catholics as hateful as he?
Sounds more like another religion we are leaning so much about.
Phil, have you considered Islam?
teri in tx
+++
Phil,
Your scaring me man! Not for my salvation because I have given
my life to Jesus Christ, I have been saved but for your salvation.
There are a ton of denominations or religions that believe you have
to belong to "THEIR" church to be saved (Mormons, Seventh-day
Adventist, Church of Christ, Holiness Church, Jehovah Witness),
but this is not so. The church is also know as the "body of Christ."
The body of Christ is made up of those who have given there lives
to Jesus. No matter what your denomination or religion may be, if
you have given your life to Christ then you are part of the body.
Acts 20:28
Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among
which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the
church of God which He purchased with His own blood.
Who did Jesus die for? He died for the world that no one should
perish, but have everlasting life. Christ died for you and me not
for a building with four walls.
Romans 12:4-5
For as we have many members in one body, but all the members
do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body
in Christ, and individually members of one another.
1 Corinthians 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.
There will be many people of many different beliefs in heaven not
because of their or man's doctrine, but because they believed in
Jesus as their Lord and Savior. There are many things in the bible
that we don't know for CERTAIN, but the one thing in God's word we
know for certain is that there is only one way to heaven and that is
through the redempting blood of Christ.
Romans 10:9
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe
in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
===============
Stop by & visit our office anytime you are nearby. Our offices
are located on the 5oth & 51st floors of the World Wide Web
International Headquarters Tower. Howdy
===============
In case of terrorist nuclear attack, the federal ruling
against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled.
===============
"You Can't Say Edgar Cayce was a Failure as a Prophet!"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-cayce3.html
"Bishop Spong is a Hero!"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-spong.html
"Did Jesus Preach to the Cherokee Indians?"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-indians.html
"How Should A Christian Think About Alcohol?"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-alcohol.html
"Salvation Is By Grace, But We Have to Do Our Part"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-mormon3.html
"Do Babies Go to Hell?"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-babies.html
===============
Q: What do you call a UNC golfer with an I.Q. of 125?
A: A foursome.
===============
Bible - God's Word in different languages...
Scripture and Bible Scripture translations
http://www.scriptures.com/
===============
Mormon Doctrine of God - From A Biblical Viewpoint
http://www.probe.org/docs/mormon-god.html
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
Your very own library
http://bible.crosswalk.com/
===============
UNC INVENTIONS
A freezer for Eskimos.
AC adapter for solar calculators.
Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket.
Battery powered battery charger.
Battery-operated nuclear power plants.
Blinker Fluid.
Braille Drivers' Manual
Cat flap for the fridge
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--Woodrow Wilson
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress
===============
A man and his girlfriend were out to
dinner one night.
The waiter tells them the night's special
is almond chicken and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that,"
the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
===============
Goodbye for now & Happy Rapturous Summer!!!
Your friend, confidant, & cohort,
Howdy
(probably spurious)
P.S. If a tree falls in the forest with no one to hear it, then who will
notify the next of kindling?
===============
Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of chicken.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.
Q: How many 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers are sent out each time?
A: Over 100,000 + forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...
Someone took this picture of Howdy today...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
ANSWERS:
1) Your nose
2) Fire
3)A thimble on a finger.
4)He is playing a game of Monopoly, the car is his
piece, and he stopped at Boardwalk where someone
else owns a hotel. This happens to Howdy often.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This
information was sent to you because you or a friend may have requested, if not, accept our apologies
and you will be deleted from our data base after you advise Yahoo. 'Thought & Humor' is one small
attempt to obey "The Great Commission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria... To Join:>howdyis2crazy-subscribe@yahoogroups.co.uk<
________________________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _____________________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List,
MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, ,Kim Komando, Buffalos3, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, humorcartoons@arcamax.com & MSKitty.
Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2002 for our readers' protection.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Methodist, etc.)
have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift (Free & at No Charge to you) of
God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in
union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah,
Prince of Peace & Savior).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Methodist, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique)
Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes
(trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal
(everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female
- American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian,
European, Baptist, Brazilian, Methodist, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father
(with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Send this to four people and you
will gain 2 new friends. Send this
to all the people you know (or
ever knew), and you will gain 5
new friends. If you delete this
message, you will lose your best
friend immediately. That's why I
had to pass this on -- I didn't
want to risk it. Howdy
===============
Check out YOUR new Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Subscribe: Get your friends to join the fun on a weekly
basis by sending an e-mail from their computer to:
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===============
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===============
Special Star Wars Issue!
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper
featuring 'Thought & Humor'
by Howdy
Double Click on Mouse For Award Winning BLOG -
updated daily with great cyber humor, cartoons, cyber
thought & riddles: http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Double click above link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
(Keep your speaker on to hear some of Howdy's music)
===============
This Week's Issue Is Packed With:
1) Great Humor
2) Thought
3) Riddles
4) Word Puzzles
5) Letters
6) Trivia
7) Much More
===============
Here's a way you can tell your
friends/family about 'T & H' -
just click on one of the envelopes
at the end of a joke, cartoon,
article that you like on the blog
& wish to share & send it....
===============
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portions of the Blog (similar format to last year's weekly
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===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your divertissement!?! "UNSUBSCRIBE" communiqué
located below. Even UNC Sophomores can do it...
===============
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http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
CyberCartoons, CyberHumor & CyberThought daily.
Please post at your school/work site.
===============
'Thought & Humor' - often polemical but
never tasteless/unrefined/uncouth/ribald.
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.
===============
Howdy's address: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':
Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???
Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
Cindy - 40's - FL - Married, 501 (c) (3) Corp.
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Judy - 60's - TX - Retired School Administrator
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 20's - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 30's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 30's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country
Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.
===============
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Aiken Drum, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.
Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.
'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.
Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2004
for our readers' protection.
===============
Below issue from Archives - 3 years back!!!
Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all 100,000+ readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your weekly
entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic but never nefarious,
prurient, besmeared, or perfidious and delivered free to offices, homes & dorms...
====================
Riddles:
1) Wheresoever I may be,
Every man must follow me;
He must go where I may lead,
Though it be to change his creed.
Though I vary in my size,
I am still beneath your eyes;
and though you may go astray,
I must ever lead the way.
Every creature in the land,
Has me close at his command,
For I lead to things unseen,
By my properties so keen.
What am I?
2) What eats, breaths, and dies yet never lives?
3) A perching barrel, filled with meat,
Taking hits from leaps and dives.
Look inside, but do not eat,
The meat in there is still alive!
4) A man is pushing his car. He stops in front of a hotel
and immediately knows he is bankrupt. How did he know?
Answers are below - way below!
===============
See Letters To Howdy Way Below!!!
Phil even tells him to go to you know where!!!
===============
***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***
This material is not suitable for those who are deficient in humor
or thought challenged!!! Do not read any further - you have been
warned. Preconceived ideas and biases could be endangered.
A unique blend of the jocular with provocative rumination is just
ahead for your entertainment!?!
===============
*A shrimp sole my girl; I lobster and haven't flounder!
===============
SCHOOL DIRECTORY
http://www.asd.com/
The American School Directory contains data on any K-12
school. View the event list and locate alumni.
KIDS SITE: COOL GAMES
http://www.cogcon.com/gamegoo/gooey.html
This educational site teaches word games. The graphics
and animation are amusing for grown-ups and kids.
FREE SITE: MAG-LITE
http://www.mcafeeb2b.com/om/tscan.asp?code=ts12
Take a survey and get a free Mag-Lite. You never
know when you’ll need a flashlight. While supplies last.
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
Subscribe: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However
a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
===============
An Envoy Reports and a Letter Is Sent:
Signs of Hope for Sudan
Fueled by oil money, the Islamic government in Sudan continues its
reign of terror against Christians and animists. The eighteen-year-old
civil war that has already claimed 2 million lives and left 4.5 million
people displaced and homeless rages on.
Last September, in a Rose Garden ceremony attended by a number of
BreakPoint and Wilberforce Forum staff members, President Bush named
Senator John Danforth special envoy for peace in Sudan. Two weeks ago,
Danforth made his report to the President.
"The human suffering I witnessed was staggering," he said. "I talked to
people who had been attacked by government helicopters and had fled to
the bush with nothing but the clothes on their backs. I talked to
others who had been abducted by marauding Arab raid! ers, subjected to
unspeakable brutality, separated from their children and reduced to
lives of servitude."
He reported on the government-sanctioned slavery that some in Congress
and the media have attempted to deny. "The record is clear," said
Danforth. "The Government arms and directs marauding raiders who
operate in the south, destroying villages and abducting women and
children to serve as chattel servants, herders and field hands."
The report rightly states that the United States can't impose a
settlement on Sudan. We can, however, encourage the government and
forces in the south to reach an agreement.
Which brings me to the Sudan Peace Act. The Sudan Peace Act passed the
House of Representatives on June 13, 2001, and the Senate on July 19,
2001. And then it stopped. The bill never got to conference so that
House and Senate members could hammer ou! t the differences between their
respective versions. Why not? Because the Senate never appointed
conferees, because of the opposition of some Senate Republicans and the
White House, which dislikes sanctions.
Now in a May 21 letter, the Congressional Black Caucus called on Senate
Majority Leader Tom Daschle to break the deadlock and appoint
conferees. "Sudan's forgotten war," they wrote, "may not be of
geopolitical interest to the U.S., but it is in our vital national
moral interest. These victims are Africans without important
constituencies to argue their case, except for the courageous church
groups, NGOs [non-governmental organizations], and human rights
activists who continue to fight for the helpless and for a just peace
in Sudan."
They also made reference to capital market sanctions -- a key provision
of the House bill, but one that was excised in the Senate ve! rsion. The
government terror in Sudan depends on oil money. Capital market
sanctions would bar companies doing business with Sudan from U.S. stock
exchanges. Talisman Energy, one such company, admits that this would be
intolerable and would force them to withdraw from Sudan, cutting off
the flow of cash.
Senator Danforth is right: If we expect to see peace in Sudan, the
Sudanese must work out their own terms. But the Congressional Black
Caucus is also right: The Sudan Peace Act with capital market sanctions
is what is needed to get both sides to the table and end eighteen years
of genocide, terrorism, and slavery. A call or letter to your senator
can help. Will you do this for the persecuted church?
Take action:
Urge your senators to call for the appointment of conferees who will
ensure sanctions are included in the Sudan Peace Act. Call the Capitol
switchboard at (202) 224-3121.
For more information:
John C. Danforth, "Report to the President of the United States on the
Outlook for Peace in Sudan," released May 14, 2002:
==============================================
Chuck Colson is coming to Dallas and Minneapolis!
One-Day BreakPoint Conferences
Saturday, June 15, 2002
"Imago Dei in A.D. 2002: Incarnational Living in a Secular Society"
Conference: 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Las ! Colinas Marriott
223 West Las Colinas Boulevard
Irving, Texas
Speakers include:
J. Kerby Anderson* (President Probe Ministries)
The Hon. Richard Armey (U.S. House of Representatives)
Ken Boa* (President, Reflections Ministries)
Nigel Cameron* (Dean, The Wilberforce Forum)
Chuck Colson* (Chairman, Prison Fellowship Ministries)
William Dembski* (Baylor University)
Mark Earley* (President, Prison Fellowship Ministries)
Marvin Olasky* (Editor, WORLD magazine)
*Confirmed
Register online:
Or call 1-888-672-0007 for more information.
Saturday, September 28, 2002
"Living Out Your Worldview @ Street Level"
One-Day Conference: 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
Minneapolis Marriott City Center
30! South 7th Street
Minneapolis, MN
Invited speakers include: J. Budziszewski, Nigel Cameron, Chuck Colson,
Joe Loconte, Pat Nolan, and more!
Register online:
"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a daily commentary
on news and trends from a Christian perspective.
Heard on more than 1000 radio outlets nationwide,
BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet.
BreakPoint is a production of The Wilberforce Forum,
a division of Prison Fellowship Ministries.
Chairman: Charles W. Colson
Dean: Nigel M. de S. Cameron, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Jim Tonkowich, D.Min.
Senior Writer: Anne Morse
Associate Editor: Roberto Rivera
Associate Producer: Teresa Woodward
Wilberforce New M! edia Editor: Gina Dalfonzo
List Maintainer: Larry Wilson
For product requests or further information,
visit our website at http://www.breakpoint.org
or call 1-800-457-6125 in the United States.
http://www.breakpoint.org/
http://www.wilberforce.org/
http://www.pfm.org/
http://www.angeltree.org/
As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up on the Web site at
www.breakpoint.org. If they do not have access to
the World Wide Web, please call 1-800-457-6125.
==================
Great INFO below (click on Web addresses shown)
==================
"It is the duty of nations, as well as of men, to
own their dependence upon the overruling power of God and
to recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures
and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed
whose God is the Lord." --Abraham Lincoln
==================
A Short Look at Six World Religions:
http://www.probe.org/docs/world.html
==================
Take The Test!!!
www.biblechallenge.org
==================
If you stop believing what your professor told you
had to be true and if you start thinking for yourself
you may come to some conclusions you hadn't
expected. You may find the Bible makes more
sense than you thought or were told to think.
Allow yourself to be ruined, ruined with regard
to what you always thought could be true. Can
you believe what you don't understand?You
and I believe everyday what we don't understand
unless it comes to the issue to salvation. Dr. Woodrow Kroll
==================
Ben Haden (business folks)
==================
Absolutely no one over 16 admitted:
http://www.whitsend.org/
==================
To request Our Daily Bread online:
http://www.rbc.net/order/odb.html
==================
View From The Left (Coast):
http://www.gty.org/Broadcast/transcripts/
==================
NOT A THREAT: THE CONTRIBUTIONS OF CHRISTIANITY
TO WESTERN SOCIETY http://www.probe.org/docs/threat.html
==================
The motto "In God We Trust" was adopted as the US national motto
by President Dwight Eisenhower. History of the adoption of "In God
We Trust": http://www.ustreas.gov/opc/opc0011.html
==================
Hard Questions - Answered:
http://www.SliceOfInfinity.org
==================
"How to Be Sure You're
a REAL Christian"
http://www.actsweb.org/htbs1.htm
or 1-888-NEED-HIM (24/7 - free call)
==================
'Boundless Website' for the
University Crowd: www.boundless.org
==================
Creation, The Flood and Prophecy
http://www.gospelcom.net/shofar/pp/htm/report.shtml
==================
Covenant vs. Dispensationalism http://www.bible.org/docs/theology/dispen/ct.htm
==================
Christian Web Info: http://www.gospelcom.net
==================
The Berean Call Monthly Newsletter -
http://www.thebereancall.org
==================
Don't be left behind: http://www.leftbehind.com
==================
Family WWW Protection: http://www.We-Blocker.com
==================
Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch
they die outside. GK Chesterton
==================
Trust in yourself and you are doomed to disappointment;
trust in money and you may have it taken from you;
but trust in God, and you are never to be confounded in
time or eternity. - D.L. Moody
==================
Who is Jesus? (http://www.ccci.org/whoisjesus/interactive-journey/)
{Double click on the web addresses above for additional information:}
===============
*The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the
feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights. --Habakkuk 3
===============
Questions posed by UNC* grads to the National Park Service...
*Everglades National Park:*
Are the alligators real?
Where are all the rides?
What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
*Mesa Verde National Park:*
Did people build this, or did Indians?
Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
*Carlsbad Caverns National Park:*
How much of the cave is underground?
So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?
*Yosemite Nation! al Park:*
Where are the cages for the animals?
What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
What happened to the other half of Half Dome?
*Denali National Park:*
What time do you feed the bears?
Can you show me where yeti lives?
How often do you mow the tundra?
How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
*Yellowstone National Park:*
Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are
the exits?
________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.S. B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State. Above
questions are genuine but Howdy added the part about UNC-
can anyone guess why??? Send Howdy your answer.
===============
*The hardest decision in life is when to start middle age.
===============
Due to the fact that America is now at war, all military personel
may receive 'Thought & Humor' FREE. Send their e-mail address
for their free subscription to: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
===============
*A DESIGNER WORLD
by John D. Martin, Ph.D.
Evidence is mounting that the earth didn't develop by accident. But the more
the evidence points to God, the more desperately some academics try to deny it.
http://www.boundless.org/2001/features/a0000600.html
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads
to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the
gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few
find it. --Matthew 7
===============
*"In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such
things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate
enough." --Will Rogers
===============
Money may talk, but it seems to be hard of hearing when I call it.
===============
A famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to
Arlington National Cemetery. All the airlines were booked
and there were no planes available. Someone came up
with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at five a.m.
and startled the city awake. Just goes to show you that
the whirly bird gets the urn.
===============
Please note: If you see a UNC student or a liberal reading 'Thought & Humor', please
explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They always get it backwards.......
===============
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure...
No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway...
Boycott shampoo... Demand REAL poo!
===============
Want to help a friend or family member? Want to help us?
Sure you do! You are the very best!
Just click the Forward button in your e-mail program and
send 'Thought & Humor' to all in your address book. Before
sending you may wish to click on "format" and then "plain text".
Or if you want, send Howdy the e-mail addresses of people
who you think would like this free e-mail newspaper
to your-bestfriend4u@juno.com. Thank you!
===============
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things
around the house that he used to do. After the examination he
said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Just tell me straight out, in
plain English, what is wrong with me."
"In plain English?" the doctor said, shrugging his shoulders,
"You're just lazy!"
"Okay..." said the man, rubbing his chin. "Now give me the
medical term so I can tell my wife."
===============
Address Change
Don't be without 'Thought & Humor' this Summer should
your address (college students, military, rich people, etc.)
change. Subscribe your new address at:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
It's hard to impress the opposite sex without 'Thought & Humor'
combined with moonlight, candlelight dinners, ocean breezes, and Howdy...
===============
It was a hot and humid August afternoon, when I
decided to visit my girl friend, Susie who was a
recent UNC grad. Beautiful and resourceful, Susie
had decided to repaint her kitchen herself instead
of hiring a professional. I thought she might
appreciate a break and brought over some iced
tea and some sandwiches.
When I arrived, I found Susie working hard, painting
the kitchen walls. To my utter amazement, instead of
wearing old clothes, she was wearing her fur coat and
her ski parka. I asked her why she was dressed that
way on such a hot day. She brought me the paint
bucket and told me to read the instructions. I did.
There was the explanation for me in black and white.
It said..."For best results, put on two coats."
===============
*Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may
have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
--Colossians 3
===============
Got a question? Maybe a librarian can help! QuestionPoint
is an alliance of libraries.
The service is accessed through local libraries’ Web sites. If
the local library can’t answer the question, or is closed, the
query will be passed on to a facility with expertise in that
area. There is no charge to the user. Check it out here:
http://www.questionpoint.org
===============
Several years ago when a well-known actress made her plea for funding and
awareness of a particular disease, congressional committee chambers were
packed to capacity and surrounded by cameras. A stark contrast was seen
when an unknown woman suffering with Parkinson’s disease made her
appearance: hers was a reception of chairs left empty by legislators.
Remarked a congressman on ABC’s 20/20: “If you have the politically correct
disease, the prospects of getting federal funding to help find the cure are
100 times greater than if you have some other disease, even though it may
be a much more common disease.”
The irrationality of this goes beyond disease, does it not. By granting
the celebrity such esteem we seem unable to distinguish bet! ween a glamorous
skill we admire and the entirety of the person, as though artistry empowers
one to be a guru for all matters. Whether one is an actor or an athlete,
we are imperiled if we forget that giftedness says absolutely nothing about
a person’s integrity or wisdom.
We are now, by design, a culture steeped in manufacturing icons. Some time
ago one such person, whose only act on stage was to turn the words of an
alphabet and look happy while doing so, wrote her autobiography. The
demand was so great that it went into a second printing very quickly. One
major news anchorman marveled and wondered what prompted such fawning by
the masses for a skill as childish as that. He said it was an indictment
against their own profession--that it did not take much to be a hero.
Transference of authority is a scary phenomenon in our time. Being a great
entertainer is just that—a great entertainer. Let us not transfer
greatness across from one point to another without scrutinizing the
reasoning behind the recognizable face. Our judgements are in danger if
our heroes are influential only because they are well known. Jesus’ words
are striking: “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous
judgment.” He also goes on to say that we look at the outward, but God
looks at the heart.
Let us not miss the responsibility of judging an idea by the test of truth
and wisdom by foolishly being seduced at the altar of the popular. Life,
dear friend is more than glamour and substance is more than image.
Ravi Zacharias http://www.sliceofinfinity.org
===============
Overworked!
------------
For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and
too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real
reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do
the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal
government, leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are
in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State
and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving
1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do t! he work. You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.
Howdy
===============
All those "thou shalt nots" can be intimidating at first. But behind
each one is God's love and wisdom. God presented the Ten Commandments
to guide us and protect us from choices He knows will harm us.
===============
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!
===============
SUBJECT: BUYING BREAD
We learn something new every day! If you
buy bread, look at the twist-tie at the end
of the loaf.
When you go to buy bread in the grocery
store, have you ever wondered which is
the freshest? You probably "squeeze"
for freshness or softness.
Did you know that bread is delivered
fresh to the stores five days a week?
These days are Monday, Tuesday,
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Each
day has a different color twist-tie on
the bread. They are:
Monday----Blue
Tuesday----Green
Thursday---Red
Friday------White
Saturday----Yellow
The colors go alphabetically by color as shown
above. This makes it very easy to remember.
(Place a post-it note in your wallet so you will not forget.)
Enjoy fresh bread by buying it with the right color when you shop!
(Bill R.)
===============
Since the end of World War II, commencement ceremonies have been the
occasion for some of the most memorable and important speeches of our
time. Nowadays, people are looking star power, combined with the ability
to "amuse the grads."
===============
"Thought & Humor" is now read in all 50 States,
48 Countries, 6 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!
Does anybody know someone in the 7th Continent
so that we can make it 7???
===============
Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought &
Humor" and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) UT
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Environmental Whackos
6) Moderates & Liberals (Lo, they are one & the same)
7) All paying ACLU members & officers
8) Members of NOW whose weight exceeds 190 lbs.
9) Any and all persnickety individuals
10) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to Duke, NCSU, Wake Forest, Villanova, Miss. State or Villanova.
===============
A musician is hot and tired after the gig, so he pulls
into the 7-11 to get a cold drink. While he's buying
his slurpee, he suddenly realizes that he spaced
out -- the accordion is in the back seat, in full view!
He rushes out of the store... but it's too late. Someone
has already broken the car window.......
and left another accordion.
===============
August, 1846
German composer Felix Mendelssohn's "Elijah" premiered at the
Birmingham Festival, England. One of the most dramatic oratorios
ever written, "Elijah" narrates the events in the life of the
biblical character Elijah.
Mendelssohn died at the young age of 38:
http://www.sirius.com/~arts/mendbio.html
===============
Listen with RealAudio!
http://www.gospelcom.net/rhm/sounds/awwy/awwy4020.ram
When my friend Larry isn't running his business, he can often be
found riding his bicycle. We're talking serious biking here, not just the
leisurely around-the-block stuff. He and his friends have covered a lot of
America on the their bicycles, conquering all kinds of challenges. Like big
hills, for example. Now, any of us who has ever ridden a bike knows that it'
s the hills that bite your leg muscles. As you're riding, you see this
mountain looming in front of you. OK, it's a hill, but your mind is thinking
"mountain." My friend told me a fundamental "big hill" principle that he has
discovered - and that he passes on to other bikers. "T! he longer you look,
the bigger it gets!"
You may be facing one of life's big hills right now - financially,
medically, in your family, or your ministry, your work. And right now you've
stopped pedaling, you're looking at how big that hill is - and the longer
you look, the bigger it's getting. And the weaker and more paralyzed you're
feeling.
That must have been how God's ancient people felt when they looked
at the challenges of the land God had promised them - walled cities,
barbarian armies, intimidating giants, and a big piece of occupied ground.
God knows how we feel when we're staring at those big hills. In our word for
today from the Word of God - Deuteronomy 7, beginning in verse 17, God says:
"You may say to yourselves, 'These nations are stronger than we are. How can!
we drive them out?' Do not be terrified by them, for the Lord your God, who
is among you, is a great and awesome God. The Lord your God will drive out
those nations before you, little by little.'"
OK, first, you have to remember Who's going to conquer that hill -
it's not going to be you - so your limitations are not an issue here. It's
going to "the Lord your God." I love that phrase. "The Lord" - that's the
One who created and controls over a hundred billion galaxies! Then, "your
God." Yes! The Lord who rules the galaxies is my God. He is so big - and He'
s so close!
Secondly - as you're staring at that hill you've got in front of
you, remember how God is going to help you conquer this challenge - "little
by little." He's not going to do it all at once. He's asking you to take it
in bite-size ch! unks. Now, my bicycling friend says that rather than looking
at the top of the hill, he looks at the short distances in front of him.
That's how you conquer your hill. Jesus asks us to take up our cross, not
all at once, but "daily." (Luke 9:23) Your job is just to do today -
faithfully and positively.
The size of life's hills often keeps us from facing what we need to
be dealing with - issues in our family, our marriage, our spending, the care
of your body, that habit, or even something Jesus has been asking you to do
for Him. And the longer you look at the hill, the bigger it gets. But the
longer you look at the God you belong to, the bigger He gets. You've been
looking at the wrong thing - fixated on the problem or the challenge, or the
people, and missing the awesome size of your God!
Let today b! e Day One of you tackling that hill. Just look at the
short distance immediately in front of you - this one day. And open yourself
up to the strength of God that we only experience when we know we can't do
it. Look at the size of your Lord, not the size of your hill! Today's
looming challenge is going to be tomorrow's amazing conquest!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Discuss today's "A Word With You," post your comments, or encourage others
in our discussion forum!
http://forums.gospelcom.net/view/rhm/awwy
To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,
please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT
RELATIONSHIP at:
http://www.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bounce?b=871
Or, call 1-888-NEED HIM.
===============
If you would like to write Howdy for anything other
than unsubscribing (which is done automatically through
Yahoo), send a nice or fussy e-mail to the following:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
NICE LETTERS:
Dear Howdy,Here is something I subscribe to.
Christian Quotation of the Day
Let God operate in thee; Hand the work over to Him and do
not disquiet thyself as to whether or no He is working with
nature or above nature, for His are both nature and grace.
... Meister Eckhart (1260?-1327?)
Phillip G. (M.W.A.)
FUSSY LETTERS:
Please note that our policy only allows for us to receive
threats on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning...
Howdy, Do not send me anymore email. I do not agree with your ideas and do not
want to see your name on my mail list. TAKE ME OFF OF YOUR LIST GAA (Angelo)
"Unsubscribe" info is at the end of this & every 'Thought & Humor".
+++
Howdy,
Please delete me from your mailing list. I get over 100 emails
per day and do not even have time to answer the ones that pertain
to my work for sorting through the ones I can do without. I am very
private about my religion, faith and spirituality. So no one is going to
convert me to anything I am not already.
Sue P.
Dear Sue P., If you happen to ever give your life to the
One who loves you so much that He died for you, you
will find that He instructed His followers to be very public
about their religion, faith & spirituality...
Your Devoted Friend,
Howdy
P.S. "Unsubscribe" info is at the end of this & every 'Thought & Humor".
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Folks, These type letters are normally in
our "Board of Directors" division however we thought
many of you would like a peek into what happens
over there on the 53rd floor. If you like lively
debates & discussion, then why not subscribe at:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
We don't always agree with every letter & certainly
don't want to BASH the Catholic church because so
many pretty girls go to their schools. Ever notice???
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Howdy,
Beware, for you are going to go to hell! Repent and become Catholic
RIGHT NOW!!! It is the ONLY way, and I mean ONLY!!!! Jesus
gave the power of GOD to Peter who founded the first church (Peter
means "rock" and his church is built on this "rock"-- and not your
shifty protestant sand) so that everyone could come to it to be
SAVED from HELL by his LOVING GRACE. This church is what
is nowadays known as the Roman Catholic Church, the only True
Church which can trace its roots back to JESUS HIMSELF!!!
This means that all off-shoots and spin-offs of this ONE TRUE
AND ORIGINAL CHURCH are actually regressions AWAY from
GOD and his LOVING STUPENDOUSNESS. Think about this for
a moment; why would you willingly move AWAY from GOD and his
ONLY TRUE CHURCH?? You have been led astray, but there is
still time to "get good with GOD". Become Catholic, you won't
regret it. The sacraments are very important and you should receive
GOD and THE HOLY SPIRIT into your worthless, soon-to-be-maggot-ridden
flesh everyday if possible, but at least once a week. It is the ONLY
way. Read the bible, it says so. Okay, I will pray for you.
Good-bye,
Phil S. (M.S.U.)
Dear Phil S.,
Thanks for writing? Where or when did I say I was a Protestant?
You are trusting in a church to save you & I'm trusting in Jesus
Christ ALONE as presented in His Book. Remember that going
into a church (Presbyterian/Catholic/Baptist/Methodist/etc.) doesn't
make one a Christian any more than sticking one's head in an
oven makes one a COOKIE.
I appreciate your prayers but may I ask to whom you pray? Who's
name do you use to end the prayer?
As far as the "Rock" business - Peter had just stated that Jesus was
The Messiah & God's Son. Jesus then used a play on words in the
Greek to say: You are Peter (small rock) and upon this big rock/boulder
(Peter's statement) I will build MY CHURCH. He was going to build
His church on Peter's statement which is The Bible not some building
or group of men. By the way, did you happen to know that Peter
had a mother-n-law which means that he was married???
See Jesus instructions in His Book below where you see: Four important things to KNOW
Your Devoted Friend,
Howdy
P.S. I would run from any church that claims to have a corner on the truth.
Heaven will be filled with many believers who once were Baptist, Catholics,
Mormons, Arabs, Jews, Presbyterians, Methodist. They will have been
asked only one question, "What did you personally do with your opportunity
to give your complete life to Jesus Christ & take Him up on his offer for
forgiveness of each's very own sins/mistakes/crimes/bad acts?
Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads
to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the
gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few
find it. --Matthew 7
+++
Bishops to Vote on Sex Abuse Policy
DALLAS (AP) - Hoping to end a crisis they admit was of their
own making, America's Roman Catholic bishops appeared poised
Friday to approve a clerical sex abuse policy that would remove
all molesters from parish life and kick most abusers out of the priesthood.
+++
Other comments about our friend Phi S. from the "FRIENDS" Division on the 53rd Floor:
Howdy,
I love your news letter, but I am writing today to
write back to Phil.
Phil,
I want you to think of one thing. God is love, and if
your church teaches to judge others and tell them they
will "rot in hell" then I want nothing to do with your
religion, nor would most I would think. You talk of
the Bible, yet you judge when you know God is the only
one who should. Be careful what you say, the Bible
says that what men speak of is what comes from the
heart, and yours my friend is cloudy. Jesus is Lord,
not Catholicism. You are a fool, and I pray that you
ask Jesus Christ our Savior for forgiveness, for you
know not of what you are doing.
God Bless,
Adam
+++
Howdy,
I often delete your e-mails, but today I deceided to read. I opened
a page to find many people bashing what you are doing, preaching
or openly discussing your love and faith in Christ. You mentioned
in rebute to a letter that you were going to hell that you would not
go to a church that says they corner the truth on religion and that
you simply believe in Jesus. AMEN to that!!! For years I had been
surronded by Babtist who were confinced I was going to Hell, but I
know that my faith and love for Jesus is all I need.
Thanks,
Christine
+++
Howdy,
Interesting letter from Phil S. He seems (as you pointed out) to put his
faith in his church and not his Saviour. I've been studying the passage
that he quotes from for several weeks. (Matt. 16:13-20) A couple things
have stood out to me in this passage. 1.) Peter's confession was at a
place called Caesarea Philippi (sic). This place, at the foot of Mt Hermon,
was known for it's paganism in the ancient Greek world. In fact it was
where the fertility god Pan was said to come and go, through the fast
flowing spring that came out of the rock base of Mt. Hermon, to the
nether world. Much depravity and immorality went on at CP and it could
be looked at as the gates of hell. It was named this by Herod Phillip in
honor of Cesaer and himself. 2.) When Peter made his confession, it
was clearly pointed out by Jesus that what he said wasn't from man's i
nfluence rather from God Himself. 3.) The rock that many biblical
scholars believe Jesus was referring to was metaphorically those rocks
that the stream flowed out of or the gates of hell, not any one person or
church as Phil suggests. 4.) Verse 19 can be looked at as simply this;
whatever we do for God and the Kingdom here on earth your heavenly r
eward (above and beyond heaven itself) will be compounded in heaven.
I would add to your statement that His church was going to built on The
Bible, but also on the faith of the believers to spread this great news.
We, those faithful believers in Jesus are to go out into the world or
"the gates of hell" and beat against it for as long as it takes. Jesus
has already told us that they won't prevail against us!!
Keep up the good work, keep beating against those gates of hell.
Regards,
Steve J
+++
Howdy--today for the first time in several days, I opened your site--
accidentally kind of. Several comments were on today from people
and you said they can unsubscribe if they want. I will only believe
you when you let me do that! I've tried and tried, following directions,
and yet you are still there constantly. Not that I disagree entirely with
what you say--and sometimes it's been quite interesting. (I'm Catholic,
too, by the way.) I say "too" because one of your communications today
said they were, and it was a rather nasty letter to you. I apologize for that
as I like to think today's average Catholic does not criticize other religions!
And so, even though your site can be interesting, mainly I want to receive it
no longer primarily because I don't have time, and it goes on and on sometimes--
very lengthy--and I use my email mostly for business and get enough emails that
take up my time and space.
Thank you.,
Lois
"Unsubscribe" info is at the end of this & every 'Thought & Humor'.
If you are having trouble after this, it means you either have a 'forwarding'
address or your ISP uses different sending & receiving addresses. Ask them why?
+++
Dear Howdy:
Bravo on your reply to Phil, the Catholic who believes only Catholics will
be the only ones in Heaven. If that is the case it may just be a desolate
area. I ask him if his religion is SO GREAT, why is it crumbling? Will the
child molesting priest be sitting next to Jesus at the throne? What about
the Catholics in Jesus days. Will the murders that killed Christians be
there as well? I ask this of Phil. Are all Catholics as hateful as he?
Sounds more like another religion we are leaning so much about.
Phil, have you considered Islam?
teri in tx
+++
Phil,
Your scaring me man! Not for my salvation because I have given
my life to Jesus Christ, I have been saved but for your salvation.
There are a ton of denominations or religions that believe you have
to belong to "THEIR" church to be saved (Mormons, Seventh-day
Adventist, Church of Christ, Holiness Church, Jehovah Witness),
but this is not so. The church is also know as the "body of Christ."
The body of Christ is made up of those who have given there lives
to Jesus. No matter what your denomination or religion may be, if
you have given your life to Christ then you are part of the body.
Acts 20:28
Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among
which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the
church of God which He purchased with His own blood.
Who did Jesus die for? He died for the world that no one should
perish, but have everlasting life. Christ died for you and me not
for a building with four walls.
Romans 12:4-5
For as we have many members in one body, but all the members
do not have the same function, so we, being many, are one body
in Christ, and individually members of one another.
1 Corinthians 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.
There will be many people of many different beliefs in heaven not
because of their or man's doctrine, but because they believed in
Jesus as their Lord and Savior. There are many things in the bible
that we don't know for CERTAIN, but the one thing in God's word we
know for certain is that there is only one way to heaven and that is
through the redempting blood of Christ.
Romans 10:9
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe
in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
===============
Stop by & visit our office anytime you are nearby. Our offices
are located on the 5oth & 51st floors of the World Wide Web
International Headquarters Tower. Howdy
===============
In case of terrorist nuclear attack, the federal ruling
against prayer in schools will be temporarily canceled.
===============
"You Can't Say Edgar Cayce was a Failure as a Prophet!"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-cayce3.html
"Bishop Spong is a Hero!"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-spong.html
"Did Jesus Preach to the Cherokee Indians?"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-indians.html
"How Should A Christian Think About Alcohol?"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-alcohol.html
"Salvation Is By Grace, But We Have to Do Our Part"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-mormon3.html
"Do Babies Go to Hell?"
http://www.probe.org/docs/e-babies.html
===============
Q: What do you call a UNC golfer with an I.Q. of 125?
A: A foursome.
===============
Bible - God's Word in different languages...
Scripture and Bible Scripture translations
http://www.scriptures.com/
===============
Mormon Doctrine of God - From A Biblical Viewpoint
http://www.probe.org/docs/mormon-god.html
{Double click on the web address above for additional information:}
===============
Your very own library
http://bible.crosswalk.com/
===============
UNC INVENTIONS
A freezer for Eskimos.
AC adapter for solar calculators.
Air-Bag Motorcycle jacket.
Battery powered battery charger.
Battery-operated nuclear power plants.
Blinker Fluid.
Braille Drivers' Manual
Cat flap for the fridge
===============
"I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln
"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630
"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--Woodrow Wilson
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress
===============
A man and his girlfriend were out to
dinner one night.
The waiter tells them the night's special
is almond chicken and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that,"
the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
===============
Goodbye for now & Happy Rapturous Summer!!!
Your friend, confidant, & cohort,
Howdy
(probably spurious)
P.S. If a tree falls in the forest with no one to hear it, then who will
notify the next of kindling?
===============
Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!
Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?
Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.
Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of chicken.
Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.
Q: How many 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers are sent out each time?
A: Over 100,000 + forwards by you.
Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...
Someone took this picture of Howdy today...
===============
Take the best medicine of all for what ails you -- laughter:
"Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."
--Arnold Glasow
"Laughter is by definition healthy."
--Doris Lessing
"If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life."
--Bette Midler
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain
"What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul."
-- Yiddish Proverb
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
-- Milton Berle
"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
-- Victor Borge
¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤
NOTICE: The jokes published in this list were either submitted
directly to 'Thought & Humor' or are, we believe, in the public
domain. If you think that we have published a joke without
giving proper credit to its author/owner, please let us know
and we will provide appropriate credit in a future mailing.
ANSWERS:
1) Your nose
2) Fire
3)A thimble on a finger.
4)He is playing a game of Monopoly, the car is his
piece, and he stopped at Boardwalk where someone
else owns a hotel. This happens to Howdy often.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor' is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This
information was sent to you because you or a friend may have requested, if not, accept our apologies
and you will be deleted from our data base after you advise Yahoo. 'Thought & Humor' is one small
attempt to obey "The Great Commission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria... To Join:>howdyis2crazy-subscribe@yahoogroups.co.uk<
________________________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _____________________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart, Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List,
MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day, ,Kim Komando, Buffalos3, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, humorcartoons@arcamax.com & MSKitty.
Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2002 for our readers' protection.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Four important things to KNOW:
1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Methodist, etc.)
have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.
2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation
from God, & damnation) but the Gift (Free & at No Charge to you) of
God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in
union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah,
Prince of Peace & Savior).
3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims,
Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Methodist, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique)
Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes
(trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal
(everlasting) life (heaven).
4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female
- American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian,
European, Baptist, Brazilian, Methodist, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father
(with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name).
This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Send this to four people and you
will gain 2 new friends. Send this
to all the people you know (or
ever knew), and you will gain 5
new friends. If you delete this
message, you will lose your best
friend immediately. That's why I
had to pass this on -- I didn't
want to risk it. Howdy
===============
Check out YOUR new Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Subscribe: Get your friends to join the fun on a weekly
basis by sending an e-mail from their computer to:
harvard_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
===============
How to UNSUBSCRIBE
& make poor Howdy Cry:
Click here!!!
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
(Be sure & scroll down to end)
===============
Long Waits
Read The Directions First!!!
Of Hoax or History
.
The memorable cover of a news magazine read in bold print,
"The Art of the Hoax." The pages presented everything from
crop circles and television psychics to hoaxes involving the
events of 9/11. The driving force of the entire storyline was
perhaps the question posed in one of the many articles:
Are we vulnerable to hoaxes even in the information age?
Their response was an obvious and resounding "yes."
Their advice was equally clear: "Distrust and verify."
MORE!!!
The memorable cover of a news magazine read in bold print,
"The Art of the Hoax." The pages presented everything from
crop circles and television psychics to hoaxes involving the
events of 9/11. The driving force of the entire storyline was
perhaps the question posed in one of the many articles:
Are we vulnerable to hoaxes even in the information age?
Their response was an obvious and resounding "yes."
Their advice was equally clear: "Distrust and verify."
MORE!!!
The Expensive Embrace
I don't think I've ever "teared up" during a President's State
of the Union Address to Congress - until one unforgettable
moment during President George W. Bush's State of the
Union early in 2005. For me, it had absolutely nothing to
do with politics. It was an intensely human moment that
almost transcended politics. At one point in his speech,
he paid tribute to the Iraqi people for their courage in
going to the polls in the face of incredible danger. Then,
the President introduced a guest that was sitting in the
gallery next to the First Lady - a woman who has been
an Iraqi freedom activist for eleven years - since Saddam
Hussein had her father executed. She stood with her
index finger in the air, still tinted with that identifying
purple dye of one who had voted. She was very moved
by the standing ovation from everyone in the chamber.
And then few moments later, the President paid tribute
to the soldiers who had died in Iraq and then to their
grieving families. At that point, he introduced a couple
seated behind the woman from Iraq - their Marine son
had died in the Fallujah campaign. They stood as
representatives of all those families who had lost a
son or daughter in Iraq. And then that mother leaned
over to the front row and embraced the martyr's
daughter from Iraq. They remained there crying
together, buried in each other's arms as the elected
national leadership of the United States stood to their
feet in a long and thunderous ovation. That's when
I lost it.
MORE
LISTEN
The Best
Monday
Is This Possible???
E-Mail Anxiety
.
Howdy would love to hear from you:
Which Way???
Doggy Botox
Missing You
Message From The Birds
Amazing Tugboat Pictures
Snow White - Movie History
.
One day in 1934, Walt Disney called his staff together for
a meeting, and in the aura of a single light bulb, spent two
hours acting out the story of Snow White and the Seven
Dwarfs. At the end, even the most hard-nosed artists were
wiping away tears, and Walt told them, "That's going to be
our first feature." Just like many other films that happen to
have Biblical elements in them, Snow White is one of the
most successful films of all time. In its initial release in 1937,
at a time when it cost 10 cents to see a film, it made over
$8 million!
MORE: Click on picture above or here.
One day in 1934, Walt Disney called his staff together for
a meeting, and in the aura of a single light bulb, spent two
hours acting out the story of Snow White and the Seven
Dwarfs. At the end, even the most hard-nosed artists were
wiping away tears, and Walt told them, "That's going to be
our first feature." Just like many other films that happen to
have Biblical elements in them, Snow White is one of the
most successful films of all time. In its initial release in 1937,
at a time when it cost 10 cents to see a film, it made over
$8 million!
MORE: Click on picture above or here.
Work Cartoon
Hoax Picture
UNC English Grammer Tips
.
1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between you and I, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without
1. Don't abbrev.
2. Check to see if you any words out.
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
4. About sentence fragments.
5. When dangling, don't use participles.
6. Don't use no double negatives.
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
8. Just between you and I, case is important.
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without
an object.
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also
a sentence should.
15. begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in
15. begin with a capital and end with a period
16. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in
any two-word phrase.
17. In letters compositions reports and things like
17. In letters compositions reports and things like
that we use commas
18. to keep a string of items apart.
19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have
18. to keep a string of items apart.
19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have
creeped into our language.
20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to
20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to
punctuate it.
24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a
24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a
sentence with.
25. Avoid cliches like the plague.
25. Avoid cliches like the plague.
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