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We have -
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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************

Saturday

 

Howdy's Driveway To
His Summer Manor

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Cyber-Humor

.


Two retired UNC professors were vacationing with their wives
at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda
one summer evening, watching the sunset.

The history professor asked the psychology professor,
"Have you read Marx?"

To which the professor of psychology replied, "Yes.
I think it's these pesky wicker chairs."






 

Is Anyone Watching???

.


LESS than 48 hours after Tom Cruise, 42 and Katie Holmes' publicists
sought to convince the world that the unlikely pair have embarked
on a hot romance, CNN's Bill Hemmer said on "American Morning":
"What kind of sham is this, by the way?"



Snark, on CNN? But it raises the question: What if they concocted a
publicity stunt and nobody bought it?
Cruise needs publicity because
he's no longer king of the box office. His Steven Spielberg movie "War
of the Worlds," coming June 29, will be considered a disappointment
if it does less than $150 million. But his last three movies - "Minority
Report," "The Last Samurai" and "Collateral" - earned only $132 million,
$111 million and $100 million, respectively, in North America. The numbers
are way off compared to what he used to score in the '90s.



Matt Damon and Vin Diesel's last three big movies have beaten Cruise's,
and even Diesel'sgreat comedy "The Pacifier" did better than the Oscar-
nominated "Collateral." Cruise doesn't even want to think about Orlando
Bloom, who has already starred in five huge movies, the least successful
of which, "Troy," earned $133 million. His latest costume epic, "Kingdom
of Heaven," which is getting good advance word, opens Friday.




Holmes needs ink because she still isn't a movie star. Since breaking out
on "Dawson's Creek," she has top-lined four movies, all of which have tanked
("First Daughter," "Pieces of April," "Abandon," "Teaching Mrs. Tingle").
Now 26, she has a supporting role as Bruce Wayne's girlfriend in "Batman
Begins," due June 15. Holmes just ended a five-year romance with Chris
Klein in March. Yet Cruise's sister-publicist says Cruise and Holmes have
already been dating "a few weeks."


MORE!!!






 

Weekend Party Riddle Answers 5.6.5

.


1) What is open when it is closed,
and closed when it is open?

Answer: Drawbridge

2) At a card game one of the players poses a question. "In
an ordinary deck of playing cards, two of the jacks have
two eyes and two of the Jacks have one yes. How many eyes
are on the four Jack cards?"

Answer: Since each Jack has two faces, the total number is 12.

3) A human female, extremely captious and given to opposed
behavior, was questioned as to the dynamic state of her
cultivated tract of land used for the production of various
types of flora. The tract components were enumerated as
argentous tone-producing agents, a rare species of oceanic
growth, and pulchritudinous young females situated in a
linear orientation.

Answer: Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle-shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.

4) Two people were crossing a bridge. One was the father
of the other ones' son. What was their relationship?

Answer: Husband & Wife






Friday

 

Weekend Party Riddles

.


1) I will help you with your writing,
Probably through me you will see,
But if you want to ship me,
You'll put me right inside of me.

I wear many different hats you know,
In construction plus I'm tracing,
I also do work for the board,
Lots of kids use me for a racing.

You can fold me, tear me,
Rip me without using all your might,
But be careful how you touch me,
I may give you my famous bite.

What Am I?

2) An old man said to a young man, "I have a daughter.
She
has as many brothers as she has sisters. Each one
of her
brothers has twice as many sisters as he has brothers.
How many sons and daughters do I have?"

3) When you walk through the front door, you are in
the back. What is it?

4) My first is in add, but not in take,
My second's in joint, but not in steak,
My third is in stack, but not in heap,
My fourth is in thick, but not in deep,
My fifth is in veal, but not in lamb,
My sixth is in ounce, but not in dram,
My seventh's in smile, but not in frown,
My whole is a writer of highest renown.
Who am I?

5) What English word has three successive double letters?

6) A man asked his son what he wanted for his birthday. His
son couldn't decide, so he asked him what he wanted to be
when he grew up. His son replied, "either a mechanic or a
musician". What did the man buy his son for his birthday?

7) Out of the eater came forth meat,
and out of the strong came forth sweetness.

(Scroll down for answers - look for UNC prof)







 

Cyber-Humor

.






 
.


H. J. Heinz has announced the launch of a new corporate Web
site. As one company spokesperson put it, "We were behind
other food processing companies in the race to cyberspace,
but the new site allows us to ketchup"







 






 

Iraqi Sand Storm

.
Photo






 

Chasing the Wind

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The image “http://www.auburn.edu/academic/liberal_arts/foreign/russian/art/rylov-wind.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Go HERE & then click on PLAY!!!

Great motivational talk!!!







 

Cyber-Humor

.






Thursday

 






 

Cyber-Humor

.
The image “http://www.iserlohn.de/englisch/iserlohn_az/zeitungsleser.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

A UNC grad's wife clipped a job listing out of the paper for him.
She said it wasn't much to start out... but a huge pay raise.
It read, "Salary: 23k to start. 401k after 1 yr."







 

Cyber -Thought
Sharp Edges

.


With the population of our family increasing with
the arrival of each new grandchild, our ability to
accommodate everybody has been shrinking. So
we recently added a couple of rooms that have
already served us well in some memorable family
get-togethers. But we had to correct one thing.
As we looked at the staircase that a lot of little
legs (including mine) would be climbing, we
didn't like the sharp edges we saw on some
of the boards along and at the bottom of the
staircase. We had to take care of those before
someone got hurt on them.


MORE!!!

LISTEN!!!


To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, please visit
YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP at:

http://www.yoursforlife.net
Or call 1-888-NEED HIM.






 
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The image “http://canopy.lmsal.com/schryver/Public/homepage/images/Andromeda_m31.gif” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

If you are like me, you don't talk about the Trinity
that often. Oh, I
talk about the Father, Son, and
Spirit, but I confess I'm afraid to say
much about
the Godhead as a whole for fear of getting myself
into some
sort of heresy. The doctrine of the Trinity
is like a narrow plank,
gulfed on one side by polytheism
and on the other by modalism (the
heretical idea
that the Godhead consists of only one person, not
three;
modalists view the Father, Son, and Spirit
as merely different roles
played by God at different
times). Nearly any illustration you can give

to try to explain it tips you off the plank in
one direction.

MORE!!!







 

Cyber -Thought
Should Parents Be Licensed?

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The image “http://www.airchair.com/team_riders/audie/FAMILY%20FUN.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.


The last century has witnessed some of the most divisive and
confrontational debates in human history--and many of these
have focused on the institution of the family. Arguments over
marriage, sexuality, reproduction, and justice have placed a
giant question mark over the family, subjecting civilization's
most basic institution to both social transformation and cultural
subversion.


Now, two generations after the contraceptive revolution, the very
right of parents to bear and raise children is under renewed attack.
The implications of this debate will range far beyond the question
of parental fitness. Inevitably, the real issue is whether the state
can or should exert a totalitarian power and influence over the
reproductive decisions of its citizens.

MORE!!!






 

Who would have the integrity -- and moxie -- to produce this play?

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The image “http://www.bahaipictures.com/pic/x820.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

The Royal Court Theatre, one of London most prestigious venues, is staging
a
play glorifying a young American radical who was killed after jumping in
front of a moving Israeli army bulldozer that was attempting to demolish a
structure suspected of concealing tunnels used for smuggling weapons. But
what about the real victims of the Intifada? Does anyone remember them?

"My Name is Rachel Thaler" is not the title of a play that is likely to be
produced anytime soon in London. Thaler, aged 16, was blown up at a
pizzeria in an Israeli shopping mall. She died after an 11-day struggle for life

following the February 16, 2002 attack, when a suicide bomber approached a
crowd of teenagers and blew himself up.

She was a British citizen, born in London, where her grandparents still
live. Yet I doubt that anyone at London's Royal Court Theatre or most people
in the British media, have heard of her. "Not a single British journalist
has ever interviewed me or mentioned her death," her mother Ginette told
me
last week.

Thaler's parents donated her organs for transplant (helping to save the life
of a young Russian man), and grieved quietly. After the accidental killing
of Rachel Corrie, by contrast, her parents embarked on a major publicity
campaign. They traveled to Ramallah to accept a plaque from Yasser Arafat
on behalf of their daughter. They circulated her emails and diary-entries to
a world media eager to publicize them.


Among those who published extracts from them in 2003 was the influential
British leftist daily The Guardian. This in turn inspired a new play, "My
Name is Rachel Corrie," which opened this month at the Royal Court Theatre,
one of London most prestigious venues. (The New York Times recently
described it as "the most important theatre in Europe.")

Partly because of the efforts of Corrie and her fellow activists in the
International Solidarity Movement (ISM), the Israeli army was unable to stop
the flow of weapons through these tunnels. Those weapons were later used to
kill Israeli children in the town of Sderot in southern Israel, and
elsewhere.

"Corrie was always a progressive with a conscience . . . she went to work
with the International Solidarity Movement in Gaza," wrote Michael
Billington in The Guardian last week, without a shred of explanation as to
what the ISM actually is. The ISM is routinely described as a "peace group"
in the western media. Few make any mention of the ISM's meeting with the
British suicide bombers Omar Khan Sharif and Assif Muhammad Hanif,
who a few
days later blew up Mike's Place, a Tel Aviv pub, killing three
and injuring
dozens -- including British citizens. Or of the ISM's sheltering
in its
office of Shadi Sukia, a leading member of Islamic Jihad. Or of the
fact
that in its mission statement, the ISM said "armed struggle" is a
Palestinian "right." "'Israel' is an illegal entity that should not exist,"
wrote Flo Rosovski, the ISM "media co-ordinator," clarifying the ISM's
idea
of peace.

So British reviewers are left to tell the British public that the play is a
"true-life tragedy" in which Corrie's "unselfish goodness shines through"
(Evening Standard).

"Corrie was murdered after joining a non-violent Palestinian resistance
organization," writes Emma Gosnell in the Sunday Telegraph. ("Murdered"
is a
term that even Corrie's staunchest defenders have hesitated to use up
to
now.)

Not surprisingly, the play has also been praised on Al Jazeera's website and
in the Beirut Daily Star.

In one of the most astonishing comments, Michael Billington, the Guardian's
critic, writes of the play: "The danger of right-on propaganda is avoided."

It is ironic to reflect that there have been some real victims of the
Intifada called Rachel -- and it is hard to believe that these critics have
ever heard of them. All these other Rachels died within a few months of
Corrie, but -- unlike her -- in circumstances that weren't disputed. They
were deliberately murdered: Rachel Levy (17, blown up in a grocery store),
Rachel Levi (19, shot while waiting for the bus), Rachel Gavish (killed with
her husband, son and father while at home celebrating a Passover meal),
Rachel Charhi (blown up while sitting in a Tel Aviv cafe, leaving three
young children), Rachel Shabo (murdered with her three sons aged 5,
13 and 16 while at home).


Rachel Corrie's death was undoubtedly tragic. But ultimately this play isn't
really about Corrie, but about fomenting hatred of Israel. The production is
now sold out and there is talk of it being staged in America. The Royal
Court is also rushing out a printed edition of the play to give to schools.

("Jewish World Review," April 26, 2005)






Wednesday

 






 

Cyber-Humor
(Not P.C.)

.






 






 

Cyber-Humor

.


Asked by his UNC prof to spell "straight."
The student did so correctly.

"Now," said the prof, "what does it mean?"

"Without water."







 

Cyber -Thought

.


No, America isn't Nazi Germany! Yet what is happening here makes me very
uncomfortable. Terri Schiavo wanted to live. Her parents wanted to take care
of
her. But Terri was an inconvenience to her husband and "the system"
favored him. But this battle wasn't just for Terri. It's was a battle to stop
America from going further down a slippery slope that disregards human

life. Since America's leaders, doctors, lawyers, and judges, allowed her
to die
in the terrible "prescribed manner"--by starvation and dehydration--
have we
sunk to the level of barbarians?

Terrorists have gotten better treatment and a greater outcry than Terri. Two
terrorists killed over 240 people in Africa in 1998. They were brought to
America for trial and after seven months of court pleading, their lives were
spared in spite of the fact that they had been planning to destroy us
indiscriminately.

Timothy McVeigh was a co-conspirator in the Oklahoma City bombing of 1995.
He was given a quick, painless, lethal injection that brought almost
instant, peaceful death.

Criminals and terrorists at Abu Grhaib prison were humiliated by a few bad
apples in the U.S. military and the world collectively excoriated America at
the inhumane abuse of these men.

Civil liberties' activists are characteristically set into hysteria the
moment an al-Qaida terrorist is rumored to have been sent to bed
without
dinner.

Do you get the point?

Now that Terri Schiavo has been executed--and yes, that is the proper
word--are we any better than the savages we are fighting in the war on
terror? If America and the world have pity and mercy on thugs and terrorists
and not on a defenseless woman who has not had a proper diagnosis or
treatment (thanks to her husband), I shudder to think of the repercussions
that could come upon our nation.

MORE!!!






 

Cyber-Humor

.






 

Cyber-Humor

.
iWon cartoon of the day by Randy Glasbergen






 

Cyber-Thought

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The image “http://www.acsawater.com/pictures/pics/sunray.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Poll: 63% of Americans think Bible literally true
Those believing Scripture is Word of God higher
among Republicans than Democrats.

Eighty-two percent of black Americans believe the
Bible is literally true and the Word of God. Fifty-
nine percent of white Americans share that view
along with 71 percent of other, primarily Hispanic,
Americans.


MORE!!!







Tuesday

 

Cyber-Humor

.






 

Cyber-Humor

.






 

Cyber-Thought
Hassle-Free Tyranny

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The image “http://www.ndpharmacy.com/images/design_elements/pharmacists.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Across the country, many pharmacists refuse to fill prescriptions
for oral
contraceptives: "the pill" and the so-called "morning-after
pill." For instance,
many Catholic pharmacists will not dispense
"the pill" because they believe that
it would violate their conscience
and their Church's teaching.


MORE!!!







 



(Tks: Judy - Board Member)







Monday

 

Cyber-Thought

.


Teaching children to die...
Click for video on above:







 






 

Cyber-Humor
(Not P.C.)

.






 

Cyber-Humor
(Not P.C.)

.






 

Cyber-Humor
(Not P.C.)

.






 

A Constitutional Travesty

.
.
The Supreme Court Building
Over two hundred years ago, a man who wrote under the name of Publius was
hunched over his desk one evening. He was attempting to convince New Yorkers
to
ratify the proposed United States Constitution. After a moment of thought,
he
dipped his quill into the ink and wrote the following: The President "is to
nominate, and by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, to appoint . . .
judges of the Supreme Court."

Publius, of course, was the pen name used by three of our nation's founders when
they wrote the eighty-five newspaper essays now known as the FEDERALIST PAPERS.
Among the authors was Alexander Hamilton, who wrote essay number 76, from which
I just quoted. These fading words on a yellowed document reveal that what a
handful of U.S. senators are doing today is a constitutional travesty.

MORE!!!






 

Cyber -Thought
Diagnosing Evil

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It is not uncommon to hear men and women of conflicting moral and
philosophical convictions agreeing in the existence of evil. In scenes on
the news, in lamentable moments of history, in atrocities across the world,
evil is a difficult reality to denounce. What is problematic is the
simultaneous acknowledgment of evil and renouncing of a moral law
and
lawgiver. For how could we recognize evil if good did not exist?

In fact, this is why Lewis called evil a parasite: Evil cannot exist
without good. That we recognize "bad" and "evil" among us points to the
reality that there is a standard of measurement, a moral framework by
which all actions are held up. It is unfounded to posit labels of "good
and evil" while denying an absolute moral law. It is unreasonable to
acknowledge a moral universe without acknowledging a transcendent God.

MORE!!!






 

Cyber-Thought

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The image “http://games.doom.bg/wow/regions/Night-Run.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

Because of my strong connection to Native Americans, I was especially
interested in a story author Leonard Sweet told in a book of his. It's about
a rite of passage that one tribe had for its boys when they turned 13. On
that birthday a warrior blindfolded the boy and took him several miles from
camp. The warrior then took off the blindfold and left this young teenager
in this dark, dense forest. Now the young man was expected to stay there
for the night and fend for himself. When it got dark, it got really dark. The
trees were so dense he couldn't see the moon or the stars. Oh, but he could
sure hear: those eerie sounds of the wind, the howls of the wild animals nearby,
the rustling of the leaves that sounded like an approaching enemy. For most
boys it was a night without sleep. And then the dawn began to break, and the
young man could then see the forest as it really was - the flowers blooming,
the majestic trees swaying in the wind, the wildlife scurrying around for food -
and then the biggest surprise of all: the boy would see an imposing male figure
standing in the woods only a few yards away. He'd be startled at first until he
recognized the man. Unbeknownst to this frightened young warrior, his father
had been there the whole time, ready to protect his son against anything that
might harm him.

MORE!!!
LISTEN!!!








 

Cyber-Humor

.






Sunday

 

What the heck is wrong with us?

.


How many raped pre-pubescent girls have to be
buried alive in shallow graves before we enact
lethal Moses-like sanctions on these nightcrawlers
and send them quickly to a just God who will,
in turn, overnight them to an eternal hell?


Here’s what I think needs to happen to a person
found guilty of raping and/or killing a kid.


I think said person should be executed immediately.
Like, within a couple of days.
MORE!!!














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SWonderful

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Amor

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My Foolish Heart

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Poor People of Paris

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Solace

Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

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Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

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So Rare

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Walk, Don't Run

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Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley

Tequila

That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much

I WALK THE LINE

EL PASO

TENNESSEE WALTZ

STAND BY YOUR MAN

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Close To You

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Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

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Only You

As Time Goes By

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After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

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Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know

Fascination

I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain

CanadianSunset

It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'

Wanted

No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love

Sincerely

Sweetheart

In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart

HeartOfMyHeart

Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...

Unforgettable

Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young

Because

Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas

Windy

My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember

HernandosHideaway

Be My Love

Embassy Waltz

Misty

A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink

Downtown

Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer

Lollipops

Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight

Frenesi

Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Misty

Gina

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely

Pachelbel

Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II

Rawhide

I Walk The Line


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Verse of the Day




* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.




D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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