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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.
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Saturday
Which Way???
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Great Chinese Flume
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Life and Death in the Fast Lane--A New AIDS Crisis
The word out of New York City is
truly ominous--a new and potentially
more aggressive form of the H.I.V.
virus has been reported by medical
authorities. In the report issued just
this month, New York City health
officials revealed that they had
identified what appears to be a
new strain of H.I.V. in a single
individual whose case, according
to The New York Times, was
"particularly worrisome because
it merged two unusual features:
resistance to nearly all anti-retroviral
drugs used to treat the infection,
and stunningly swift progression
from infection to full-fledged AIDS."
As the officials warned, this new
combination could represent a
new front in the war against AIDS
and a new challenge to medical
authorities.
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"Million Dollar Baby"
Assisted Suicide at the Oscars
Clint Eastwood has emerged as one of the
biggest names in Hollywood, with a score
of awards for both acting and directing. This
year, he's up again for the Best Director award
at the Oscars, and many Hollywood insiders
believe Eastwood is the likely winner over his
closest competition, Martin Scorsese. Scorsese,
who has never won an Oscar for Best Director,
was nominated for his film "The Aviator," and
is seen as a sentimental favorite for the award.
Eastwood's film, "Million Dollar Baby," surprised
the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
with its commercial success and artistry. Viewers
of the movie are likely to be surprised by another
feature of the film--its presentation of assisted
suicide. The film tells the story of a female fighter,
Maggie Fitzgerald, played by Hilary Swank, who
achieves a meteoric rise in the world of women's
boxing.
MORE: http://xrl.us/e8vt
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Friday
Our Troops
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MILLION DOLLAR BABY and HOUSE
For most of its two-and-a-quarter hours, MILLION
DOLLAR BABY is a story about love and determ-
ination. Frankie and Maggie need each other
because they both have something to prove,
to themselves and to others. Under Frankie's
tutelage, Maggie rises through the ranks of
women's boxing.
Then tragedy strikes: An illegal blow causes
Maggie to strike her head against the stool.
She's left as a quadriplegic. Frankie works
just as hard at trying to help Maggie adjust
to her new life out of the ring as he did helping
her in the ring. But that's not what she wants.
She wants Frankie to help her end her life --
which he does.
Why? As Frederica Mathewes-Green wrote,
it's not because she's in pain or even
because she's depressed. Rather, it's
because "she can't bear to be a has-been."
In the moral universe of the film, "anyone
who comes to the end of their 15 minutes
of fame is justified in seeking suicide."
The idea that, as with my friend, Joni
Eareckson Tada, life goes on even after
paralysis -- and is even richer, perhaps --
is alien to this universe.
Given what this says about the quality
and worth of the lives lived by the
disabled, it's not surprising that disability-
rights groups have protested the film.
You might not expect anything different
from Hollywood, but there is one alternative.
The new Fox hospital drama, HOUSE, tells
the story of a diagnostician named Dr.
Gregory House. He's not what you would
call a "people person." As he says,
"humanity is overrated." Add the fact
that he is in constant pain, which causes
him to pop painkillers like candy, and you've
got the man who put the mis in misanthrope.
And while House dislikes people, he hates
death. Thus, he has no patience with people
like Maggie who won't fight as hard to preserve
the gift of life as they did in less important
pursuits. When patients say they want to
discontinue treatment and die, House calls
them "idiots" and disputes their sentimentality
about "dying with dignity." Death is always
messy and always represents a waste -- so
much so that he even disregards the occasional
"do not resuscitate" order. Instead of hastening
death, he insists on "practicing medicine for a
change."
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The Babysitter
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Keeping Rabbits Out!!!
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Ineffective Pay Station
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On Hold Record
Thursday
Trivia
In America, we buy 57 books per second.
It would take a shelf 78 miles long to hold
all of one day's books.
The Bible contains 3,566,480 letters, or 810,697 words.
The first book ever written on a typewriter
was The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Mark
Twain used a Remington in 1875.
I can barely put a 10 word sentence together...
In the book, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo,
is one sentence that is 823 words long. When
Victor wrote to his editor inquiring about
their opinion of the manuscript, he wrote,
"?" They answered, "!"
I'd hate to need a book about zebras...
If you stretched out all the shelves in the
New York Public Library, they would extend
eighty miles.
That is totally amazing!
In 1939 an author named Ernest Vincent
wrote a 50,000 word novel called Gadsby.
The only thing unusual about the novel
is that there is not a single letter e in the
whole thing.
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Riddles 2.25.5
1) My host thinks I'm an irritation, a bother, a pain.
But he can't evict me, so here I will remain. Then
one day I'm taken and ranked among my peers. Can you
guess just what I am? Then you might call me dear.
2) I start with the letter e,
I end with the letter e.
I contain only one letter,
Yet I am not the letter e!
What am I?
3) Here is a quotation with all the spaces and vowels
removed. What is the quotation?
TRRSHMNTFRGVDVN
4) High above the lowly earth,
and yet I flourish for all I'm worth.
I hang between the earth and sky,
green or brown as the seasons pass by.
As around me all the birds do fly,
and just before winter, away go I.
Tell me true,
What Am I?
5) These fictitious names are all rearrangements of
the names of famous people. For example, if Sheila
O'Norton were on the list, you would discover that
this is really Horatio Nelson in disguise. See if you
can discover who everyone really is.
A) Frank Cardise
B) Fred Colatis
C) Alfie Dondee
D) Fidel Haltor
E) Jon Hasket
F) Fred Hyron
G) Mark Larx
H) Helmut Tarrin
I) June Seatan
6) Caesar and Brutus are playing a game
in which each says the next number from
a well-known sequence. The first 20 terms
of the sequence are given below:
1 2 3 2 1 2 3 4 2 1 2 3 4 3 2 3 4 5 3 2
The fortieth term is 2. If Caesar began the
game, who will be the first to say 10?
(Answers HERE)
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The Curtain Store
A UNC sophomore enters a store that sells
curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would
like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have
a large selection of pink curtains.
He shows her several patterns, but the student
seems to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asks what size curtains she needs.
The sophomore replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches? " asks the salesman.
"That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
The student tells him that they aren't for
a room, they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss,
computers do not have curtains!"
The student says, "Hellllooooooooo...
I've got Windows!"
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UNC Tech Instructions
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The Lawyer
A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make
a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it."
The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me".
The man looks somewhat upset ...
"Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice,
but I'd like to leave a little to my children too!"
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More Than This
Bertrand Russell, the devout atheistic thinker,
is often remembered as one of the greatest
minds of the twentieth century. In his auto-
biography, Russell reflected on his own death,
pointedly referring to that moment as the "night
of nothingness." He notes, "There is darkness
without, and when I die there will be darkness
within. There is no splendor, no vastness any-
where; only triviality for a moment, and then
nothing."
In dramatic contrast are the equally pointed
words of another great mind who spoke centuries
earlier. MORE: http://xrl.us/e8wu
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UNC Non-Discrimination Policy
Howdy's Winter Home
Someone took this picture recently from
Howdy's Winter Home: 
Howdy's Winter Home:
Wednesday
The Challenge
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Error Message
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Delete Button
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I speak perfect english!
CBS Video Failure
I speak perfect english!
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I speak perfect english!
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Walking Digital Man
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Tuesday
Cloning Gone Bad
One Piece At A Time
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How Did She???
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Don't Try This At Home
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Clock Repairman
A UNC student called in a repairman to fix her electric clock.
He examined it and told her, "There's nothing wrong
with the clock. You didn't have it plugged in."
She replied, "I don't want to waste electricity, so I
only plug it in when I want to know what time it is."
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Founding Father Quote
I have carefully examined the evidences of the
Christian religion, and if I was sitting as a juror
upon its authenticity I would unhesitatingly give
my verdict in its favor. I can prove its truth as
clearly as any proposition ever submitted to
the mind of man. - - Alexander Hamilton
Hamilton was shot and killed by Aaron Burr in
a duel on July 12, 1804. Hamilton's last dying
words were: I have a tender reliance on the mercy
of the Almighty, through the merits of the Lord
Jesus Christ. I am a sinner. I look to Him for
mercy; pray for me.
(Tks: Lee - GA - Board Member)
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Divine Delays
You pay a lot more attention to a story on the news
when it may involve someone you love. It was that
way the night we saw a story about a major rockslide
that closed a stretch of Interstate 70 in Colorado.
Our son and daughter-in-law and little granddaughter
were driving that very day through that part of Colorado.
The rockslide had shattered pavement and embedded
boulders as deep as six feet into the highway and created
craters in the road. Some of the boulders were said to
be as big as a van. Obviously, it was going to take some
time to get that stretch of the highway open again, which
meant a 200-mile plus detour around the closure. That
was okay with our family. In fact, my son said they saw
some spectacular scenery they would have never seen
any other way. Not long before the rockslide, a semi
had jack-knifed just west of that area and the interstate
was closed because of it. I've been in those miles-long
traffic jams, and you can really get frustrated, aggravated,
and ugly. But because of that frustrating delay, there was
no traffic on the road when that avalanche of rocks came
crashing down. You've got to figure that that may very
well have saved lives.
MORE: http://xrl.us/e73z
LISTEN: http://xrl.us/e73x
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Fern-seed and Elephants
In an essay titled "Fern-seed and Elephants," C.S. Lewis
points out that each of us can recollect characters who
we know to be historical, but of whom we do not feel we
have any personal knowledge. Our relationships with
Constantine, George Washington, or Mary Queen of
Scots suggest a few. There are also those characters
who make no claim of historical reality and yet seem
to be known to us as we know real people. For me,
this rings true of many of Lewis's Narnian characters,
whereas others might suggest Shakespeare's Hamlet,
Huck Finn, or Anne of Green Gables. Moreover, though
much less common, there are characters who, holding
the first quality, also live up to the second.
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Road Signs
Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like.
In Virginia you have signs saying DEER CROSSING.
At Yellowstone you have signs saying BEAR CROSSING.
In Africa you have signs saying ELEPHANT CROSSING.
And on Madison Avenue you have signs saying DOUBLE CROSSING.
Until Then
To Our Military:
Click Here
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(Tks: Brenda - Tx Board Member)
New UNC Invention
Monday
Wrong Way
A policeman pulled a UNC student over after she'd
been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
UNC Student: No, but wherever it is, it must
be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
Oxymorons
* wise fool
* only choice
* jumbo shrimp
* almost exactly
* same difference
* pretty ugly
* definite maybe
* original copy
* found missing
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