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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.
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Saturday
Cyber-Cartoon
CyberCartoon
Star Wars: Episode III
Revenge of the Sith - Cast
.
Ewan McGregor .... Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie Portman .... Padmé
Hayden Christensen .... Anakin Skywalker
Ian McDiarmid .... Supreme Chancellor Palpatine
Samuel L. Jackson .... Mace Windu
Jimmy Smits .... Senator Bail Organa
Howdy ... Yoda (Stunt Double - Fight Scenes)
Frank Oz .... Yoda (voice)
Anthony Daniels .... C-3PO
Christopher Lee .... Count Dooku
Keisha Castle-Hughes .... Queen of Naboo
Silas Carson .... Ki-Adi-Mundi & Nute Gunray
Jay Laga'aia .... CaptainTypho
Bruce Spence .... Tion Medon
Wayne Pygram .... Governor Tarkin
Temuera Morrison .... Commander Cody
Ewan McGregor .... Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie Portman .... Padmé
Hayden Christensen .... Anakin Skywalker
Ian McDiarmid .... Supreme Chancellor Palpatine
Samuel L. Jackson .... Mace Windu
Jimmy Smits .... Senator Bail Organa
Howdy ... Yoda (Stunt Double - Fight Scenes)
Frank Oz .... Yoda (voice)
Anthony Daniels .... C-3PO
Christopher Lee .... Count Dooku
Keisha Castle-Hughes .... Queen of Naboo
Silas Carson .... Ki-Adi-Mundi & Nute Gunray
Jay Laga'aia .... CaptainTypho
Bruce Spence .... Tion Medon
Wayne Pygram .... Governor Tarkin
Temuera Morrison .... Commander Cody
Mom!!! Help!!!
The Terrifying Flight
Setting: Sometime in the future. A hugh winged man with a fierce
countenance has just placed a man-of-the-world in heavy manacles.
Man: What's the meaning of this?
Angel: You heard the sentence.
Man: I know but I was hoping for a retrial, an appeal, or something!!!
Angel: There is none now.
Man: When WAS there ever one?
Angel: Before you departed your world.
Man: You mean croaked?
Angel: (Silence)
The scene changes as they lift away from the courtroom and
hover briefly before commencing the final & terrifying journey.
Man: How long is this going to take?
Angel: Unfortunately for you, not long.
Man: How far will we travel?
Angel: All the way to the center of your galaxy.
Man: What's there? A black hole?
Angel: (Nod's affirmatively)
Man: Is that... is it... really - you know Hell?
Angel: (Nod's affirmatively)
Man: ...but I thought God was a God of Love?
Angel: He is.
Man: Then why all this! Why doesn't He love me?
Angel: He does (with a tear in his eye).
Man: This isn't fair! He never loved me! He never told me about all this.
Angel: Did you not own 17 copies of THE BOOK in your lifetime?
Man: You mean the Bible?
Angel: Yes.
Man: I suppose but it was dull, boring & not intrinsic to me.
Angel: It was very relevant. It tells how God loved you so much that
He sent the King of Kings to take you punishment - but sadly you declined.
Man: My family warned me but I thought that I wanted a "good time" and
not a bunch of rules! Besides, my prof taught me that the Bible was bigoted,
politically incorrect, homophobic & a myth.
Angel: Unfortunately, I transported your professor on the previous
peregrination.
Man: Will I see him there - I'll punch out his #%!& lights.
Angel: I am the last living soul you or he will ever see.
Man: ...but I always thought that I could have fun with all my friends
there???
Angel: You will see no one ever again (again tears).
Man: How is that possible???
Angel: All will be there that declined the free offer from the "King of
Kings" & sadly and unfortunately that was the preponderance of mankind.
Man: Were they all conned like me?
Angel: Yes, but many followed false gods, messiahs, religions.
Man: What will my prison be like?
Angel: After experiencing the place where you will spend forever, any
prison anywhere at anytime in human history would have been a paradise.
Man: Meaning???
Angel: The immense gravity will pull & tear on you. Gasping for air, the
prodigious smoke will fill your lungs. The searing heat - far hotter than
your Sun (a mere star) - will torment your body. The thirst in your throat
and being will be unquenchable. None will you ever see but all will you hear
wailing, but worst of all will be your memory.
Man: (Pausing with a smirk) Memory of what?
Angel: Memory of what you did to others and a growing realization of what
you would have been had you acceded to the pardon from the "King of Kings".
Man: What did I ever do to others?
Angel: What was brought out in your litigation - the way you neglected &
manipulated your family & friends. The way you took advantage of women
for your OWN gratification.
Man: (Changing the subject) I thought all ways led to God in the end.
Angel: In His Book He stated that He (Jesus - King of Kings) was
the ONLY way. Either He was right or He was wrong.
Man: I see now that all those other ways were terrible deceptions!
Angel: (Silence)
Man: Is this it???
Angel: I'm sorry but yes.
Man: Will I ever have a chance to leave?
Angel: No, never.
Man: I'll tell you and that King of yours one thing: I'd rather be HERE
than around that all consuming brightness
The scene concludes with the man being released screaming/shrieking/wailing
into the Black Hole which will never be able to release any of it's
eternally terrified & tortured occupants because they had each purposely
chosen to decline the pardon from the loving "King of Kings". God was
willing that none should perish- no not one - but many decide otherwise.
Please don't allow this to be your future trip.
(Another Mini-Novel by Howdy)
Cyber-Cartoon
Your Own Parking Space
21 Years Experience
Friday
The Force Of "Star Wars"
.
It's increasingly hard to believe that the Force "binds the galaxy together" in the end.
It remains merely a commodity, something that Jedi and Sith can get and learn to
manipulate for their own purposes, good or evil. In The Lord of the Rings and Raiders
of the Lost Ark, there was "another will at work," an Authority worth serving, a Higher
Being that could redeem a mess made by well-intentioned but insufficient heroes.
Phanton Menace told us that the Force has "a will." Why, then, do the Jedi not appeal
to it? Sith and Jedi—both of them corrupt—seek merely to control it. There's apparently
no Higher Power they believe can save them—not even in the afterlife. They're on their own.
Moreover, it's bewildering to hear Yoda nonchalantly claim that a Jedi should reject
"attachments," and that "death is natural." Why, then, is he distraught over the corpses
of murdered colleagues? Doesn't Luke save the galaxy in Episodes Five and Six by
rejecting that philosophy and serving his "attachment" to Han, Leia, and ultimately
his father? Death is unnatural … it was not a part of God's plan for creation. It's a
natural part of a fallen world, yes, but we recoil from it and grieve over it because
it is a flaw, not an ideal. It's evidence that the world needs of a bold, benevolent
redeemer, not an insensitive, dispassionate savior.
MORE!!!
It's increasingly hard to believe that the Force "binds the galaxy together" in the end.
It remains merely a commodity, something that Jedi and Sith can get and learn to
manipulate for their own purposes, good or evil. In The Lord of the Rings and Raiders
of the Lost Ark, there was "another will at work," an Authority worth serving, a Higher
Being that could redeem a mess made by well-intentioned but insufficient heroes.
Phanton Menace told us that the Force has "a will." Why, then, do the Jedi not appeal
to it? Sith and Jedi—both of them corrupt—seek merely to control it. There's apparently
no Higher Power they believe can save them—not even in the afterlife. They're on their own.
Moreover, it's bewildering to hear Yoda nonchalantly claim that a Jedi should reject
"attachments," and that "death is natural." Why, then, is he distraught over the corpses
of murdered colleagues? Doesn't Luke save the galaxy in Episodes Five and Six by
rejecting that philosophy and serving his "attachment" to Han, Leia, and ultimately
his father? Death is unnatural … it was not a part of God's plan for creation. It's a
natural part of a fallen world, yes, but we recoil from it and grieve over it because
it is a flaw, not an ideal. It's evidence that the world needs of a bold, benevolent
redeemer, not an insensitive, dispassionate savior.
MORE!!!
Star Wars
.
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully
using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of
noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew
nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi
Master.
Poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands,
dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.
Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says,
"Use the FORKS, Luke."
Luke and Obi-Wan are in a Chinese restaurant having a meal. Skillfully
using his chopsticks, Obi-Wan deftly dishes himself a large portion of
noodles into his bowl, then tops it off with some chicken and cashew
nuts. All this is done with consummate ease you'd expect from a Jedi
Master.
Poor old Luke is having a nightmare, using his chopsticks in both hands,
dropping his food all over the table and eventually himself.
Obi-Wan looks at Luke disapprovingly and says,
"Use the FORKS, Luke."
Inherit The Wind
.
SUMMER FOR THE GODS, the author is Edward Larson,
a history professor at the University of Georgia. Larson
says that INHERIT THE WIND has become a "formative
myth" that has all but replaced the actual trial in the
nation's memory.
MORE!!!
SUMMER FOR THE GODS, the author is Edward Larson,
a history professor at the University of Georgia. Larson
says that INHERIT THE WIND has become a "formative
myth" that has all but replaced the actual trial in the
nation's memory.
MORE!!!
The Forever Stormy Sea
.
Not long ago, we spent a couple of days at the home of a friend at the New Jersey
Shore, just a block from the Atlantic Ocean. We arrived at night as this powerful
storm started hitting our area. We went to sleep with the loud lullaby of winds
that roared around our room and pounded the rain against the windows like
pellets. The next morning, the ocean was something to see. Crashing waves,
a heaving tide, a wild and angry look, and all kinds of junk thrown onto the
beach by its turbulence.
MORE!!!
LISTEN!!!
Not long ago, we spent a couple of days at the home of a friend at the New Jersey
Shore, just a block from the Atlantic Ocean. We arrived at night as this powerful
storm started hitting our area. We went to sleep with the loud lullaby of winds
that roared around our room and pounded the rain against the windows like
pellets. The next morning, the ocean was something to see. Crashing waves,
a heaving tide, a wild and angry look, and all kinds of junk thrown onto the
beach by its turbulence.
MORE!!!
LISTEN!!!
The One Who Has Gone Before
.
I have a sister who is a year older than I am and who was always one year
ahead of me in school. This caused occasional frustrations (such as the
fact that teachers would frequently call me by her name), but most of the
time I was very grateful to have someone blazing a trail ahead of me.
I counted on her to recommend the best teachers, to make a good impression
on them, to help me figure out which dorm to live in, and whatever else
I needed to know to get by. No new phase of life seems as scary when
someone else has already been through it and lived to tell about it.
MORE!!!
I have a sister who is a year older than I am and who was always one year
ahead of me in school. This caused occasional frustrations (such as the
fact that teachers would frequently call me by her name), but most of the
time I was very grateful to have someone blazing a trail ahead of me.
I counted on her to recommend the best teachers, to make a good impression
on them, to help me figure out which dorm to live in, and whatever else
I needed to know to get by. No new phase of life seems as scary when
someone else has already been through it and lived to tell about it.
MORE!!!
Star Wars - Anti-Christian?
.
What about the Force, the mysterious power connected to the ancient Jedi religion?
Sure, this is just a story, but you may be asking, "How can this be good? They don't
seem to be talking about Christianity. Truthfully, it seems more like Eastern Mysticism
or the new age movement." In analyzing these movies, I think this is a valid concern.
But first, instead of immediately looking at what concerns us in the movie, and pointing
out what is wrong or what we would take out, let us ask the opposite questions. The first
is, "Where do I see Christ present in Star Wars?" And second, "Even if the George Lucas
does not purpose to show Christian ideals, do they exist in these movies?"
MORE!!!
What about the Force, the mysterious power connected to the ancient Jedi religion?
Sure, this is just a story, but you may be asking, "How can this be good? They don't
seem to be talking about Christianity. Truthfully, it seems more like Eastern Mysticism
or the new age movement." In analyzing these movies, I think this is a valid concern.
But first, instead of immediately looking at what concerns us in the movie, and pointing
out what is wrong or what we would take out, let us ask the opposite questions. The first
is, "Where do I see Christ present in Star Wars?" And second, "Even if the George Lucas
does not purpose to show Christian ideals, do they exist in these movies?"
MORE!!!
Future UNC Student
The Force Is With...Everyone
.
People of all faiths find meaning in the religion of 'Star Wars.'
You may not know it, but you're a Jedi--at least according
to the dozens of folks who compare their own faiths to the
spirituality of "Star Wars." Perhaps you should find out
what the Force has in common with:
Taoism | Buddhism | Shamanism Confucianism | Wicca |
Paganism | Eckankar Asatru (Norse) | Hinduism | Judaism
Zoroastrianism | Islam
People of all faiths find meaning in the religion of 'Star Wars.'
You may not know it, but you're a Jedi--at least according
to the dozens of folks who compare their own faiths to the
spirituality of "Star Wars." Perhaps you should find out
what the Force has in common with:
Taoism | Buddhism | Shamanism Confucianism | Wicca |
Paganism | Eckankar Asatru (Norse) | Hinduism | Judaism
Zoroastrianism | Islam
Thursday
The World's Best
Which Way???
CyberCartoon
The doctor took his patient into his office and said,
"I have some good news and some bad news."
The patient said, "Give me the good news first."
The doctor said, "They're going to name a disease after you."
In recent months, many observers have awakened to the fact that conservative
Christianity is a major force in America. Driven by basically secular assumptions,
most seem to assume that this phenomenon should be explained by sociological
or psychological factors.
MORE!!!
WWW Search Words
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john the evangelist pca semitary theological resurection rugged cross pastor evangelical
baptism christ the king reformed covenant tabernacle harry reader reeder bsu ministers
pastors kjv living maranatha new grace ridgecrest general convention denominations country
george w bush evangel death life second 2nd 3rd third 1st denomination fundamentalist
snellville lcms mississippi mi ma camp sbu champion forest north american mission board
annuity board jews israel batist pastor's mission board general conference christianity
pastorless graceville distinctives insurance assurance international mission board garbc
preacher mike milton john rankin wilbourne wilborne presbyterian church tallowood
sunday school board briders calvary's spreydon mt zion missionary's hickory grove seminary's
memorial drive bbfi sbu's methodist's syndal berean's northside bgct awana's lutheran church
baptism's berkland lifeway's fundamentalist's evangelistic hemanneutics interpretation
Wednesday
CyberCartoon
Cyber-Humor
.
A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his
ticket with a credit card. The reservation specialist asked him,
"Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?"
The customer carefully replied, "V-I-S-A."
A customer called the airline's reservation office to pay for his
ticket with a credit card. The reservation specialist asked him,
"Would you please spell the name as it appears on the card, sir?"
The customer carefully replied, "V-I-S-A."
Riddles For You
CyberRiddles
.
1) Taller than the tallest tree,
Yet lighter than the lightest bee.
You see it here, you see it there,
You see it ALMOST everywhere.
Like the chameleon, it changes colors,
Red, purple, blue and others.
It was there at dawning light,
It will be there at deep, dark night.
2) What 5-letter word using all capital letters looks the
same upside down?
3) In an unabridged dictionary, what 3 letter word has the most
definitions?
4) Here on Earth it's almost always true, that tomorrow
will follow today. Yet there is a place where yesterday
always follows today. Where is this place?
5) Old Mother Suzie had but one eye,
And a long tail that she would let fly.
Every time she went over a gap,
Part of her tail would get caught in a trap.
Who is Mother Suzie?
(Answers below - scroll down - look for UNC prof.)
1) Taller than the tallest tree,
Yet lighter than the lightest bee.
You see it here, you see it there,
You see it ALMOST everywhere.
Like the chameleon, it changes colors,
Red, purple, blue and others.
It was there at dawning light,
It will be there at deep, dark night.
2) What 5-letter word using all capital letters looks the
same upside down?
3) In an unabridged dictionary, what 3 letter word has the most
definitions?
4) Here on Earth it's almost always true, that tomorrow
will follow today. Yet there is a place where yesterday
always follows today. Where is this place?
5) Old Mother Suzie had but one eye,
And a long tail that she would let fly.
Every time she went over a gap,
Part of her tail would get caught in a trap.
Who is Mother Suzie?
(Answers below - scroll down - look for UNC prof.)
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!
Tuesday
Traffic Court Judge: "And, when you crashed into the stop sign, ma'am,
just what gear were you in?"
UNC Student: "Oh, tha's easy! It was the blue print suit, navy pumps,
and matching handbag, your Honor."
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