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By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.
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Friday
Speeding???
Who's Fault?
Blog Tribes
.
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the
ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists
call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.
In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the
ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists
call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.
Blog Sub
.
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of UNC grads?
A: Knock on the door.
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of UNC grads?
A: Knock on the door.
Baby Porcupine
.
Q: What did the baby porcupine say when it backed into the cactus?
A: Is that you, Mother?
Q: What did the baby porcupine say when it backed into the cactus?
A: Is that you, Mother?
Blending
Can Evolution & Creationism Mix???
.
The conflict between the worldview of Christianity and the worldview
of evolutionary naturalism represents a clash between mutually exclusive
understandings of reality. This may be the ultimate culture war of our time,
because it underlines fundamental and mutually exclusive visions of the path
toward truth.
MORE!!!
The conflict between the worldview of Christianity and the worldview
of evolutionary naturalism represents a clash between mutually exclusive
understandings of reality. This may be the ultimate culture war of our time,
because it underlines fundamental and mutually exclusive visions of the path
toward truth.
MORE!!!
UNSUBSCRIBING
.
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Thursday
Blog Worry
Blog Home
Floral Flag
Between the fields where the flag is planted, there are
9+ miles of flower fields that go all the way to the ocean.
The flowers are grown by seed companies. It's a beautiful
place, close to Vandenberg AFB.
Check out the dimensions of the flag. The Floral Flag is
740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper
Flag dimensions, as described in Executive Order #10834.
This Flag is 6.65 acres and is the first Floral Flag to
be planted with 5 pointed Stars, comprised of White
Larkspur. Each Star is 24 feet in diameter; each Stripe
is 30 feet wide. This Flag is estimated to contain more
than 400,000 Larkspur plants, with 4-5 flower stems each,
for a total of more than 2 million flowers. You can drive
by this flag on
V Street south of Ocean Ave.in Lompoc, CA.
Is This God's Judgment?
Sports Quotes
.
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is
a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
-Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
-Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach.
Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning
regardless of what time it is."
1992- Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27
record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general
manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
1982 - Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt."
1981 - Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms
Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for
in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
1991 -Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that
a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real
tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
1986 - Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss
what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy
officiating."
1991 - Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as
opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is
a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
-Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
-Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach.
Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning
regardless of what time it is."
1992- Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27
record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general
manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
1982 - Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an
uncle or an aunt."
1981 - Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms
Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for
in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
1991 -Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that
a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real
tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
1986 - Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss
what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy
officiating."
1991 - Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as
opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
Bedlam Definition
.
Bedlam describes a noisy lack of order, a scene of confusion.
Near synonyms include: chaos, pandemonium, hubbub and uproar.
Example: "When the referee awarded the penalty kick, complete
bedlam broke out among the home team's fans."
The word is a corruption of Bethlehem the popular name for the
Hospital of St. Mary Bethlehem in London, England, which was used
to house the mentally ill. In 1403, the asylum became Britain's first
to exclusively serve this purpose.
Bedlam is capitalized when used as a noun describing a lunatic
asylum. It was also used in the early 16th century to refer to an
insane person. Madmen were labeled Tom O'Bedlams. In Shakespeare's
King Lear, Edgar disguises himself as a Tom O'Bedlam. See also
Democratic Party.
Bedlam describes a noisy lack of order, a scene of confusion.
Near synonyms include: chaos, pandemonium, hubbub and uproar.
Example: "When the referee awarded the penalty kick, complete
bedlam broke out among the home team's fans."
The word is a corruption of Bethlehem the popular name for the
Hospital of St. Mary Bethlehem in London, England, which was used
to house the mentally ill. In 1403, the asylum became Britain's first
to exclusively serve this purpose.
Bedlam is capitalized when used as a noun describing a lunatic
asylum. It was also used in the early 16th century to refer to an
insane person. Madmen were labeled Tom O'Bedlams. In Shakespeare's
King Lear, Edgar disguises himself as a Tom O'Bedlam. See also
Democratic Party.
Magic Lamp
.
One night a UNC student found a magic lamp, picked it up,
rubbed it and a Genie appeared.
"Your wish is my command," said the Genie.
"Well, there is one thing," the UNC student said.
"Just name it," said the Genie.
"It's those UNC jokes. They are so demeaning to UNC grads
everywhere, not just to me. I would like for UNC jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said the Genie. "UNC jokes shall be stricken
from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something
that I could do just for you."
"There is one more thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time,"
said the UNC student.
"Name it. Please," said the Genie.
"It's those M&M's," said the UNC student. "They're so hard to peel."
One night a UNC student found a magic lamp, picked it up,
rubbed it and a Genie appeared.
"Your wish is my command," said the Genie.
"Well, there is one thing," the UNC student said.
"Just name it," said the Genie.
"It's those UNC jokes. They are so demeaning to UNC grads
everywhere, not just to me. I would like for UNC jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said the Genie. "UNC jokes shall be stricken
from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something
that I could do just for you."
"There is one more thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time,"
said the UNC student.
"Name it. Please," said the Genie.
"It's those M&M's," said the UNC student. "They're so hard to peel."
Katrina Buses
Why weren't those buses sent street by street to pick up people before the storm?”
Ask the N.O. mayor??? He was urged by the President BEFORE Katrina struck
to evacuate his city. If he had listened, as many as 10,000 people would have
survived as well as 2000 buses...
God in the Storm
Wednesday
Does God So Love the World???
Computer Dating
.
A UNC student gave up on Computer
Dating after she was stood up by two
mainframes, a mini, and a laptop.
A UNC student gave up on Computer
Dating after she was stood up by two
mainframes, a mini, and a laptop.
Blog Hearing Aid
.
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing
aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing
aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
The P.C. Answer
.
The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to
fill out the application.
The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said
that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death
of his father.
The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the
client explained that his father had been hanged.
The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was
taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'"
The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to
fill out the application.
The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said
that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death
of his father.
The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the
client explained that his father had been hanged.
The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was
taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'"
Tallest Dam
.
The world's tallest dam is the partly-constructed Rogun Dam in
Tajikistan, a tiny country in the jagged mountains between China
and Afghanistan. At 1100 feet tall (336 meters, about as high as a
100-story building) this earth and rock dam overtops its nearby
neighbor the Nurek Dam, which is the world's second tallest at 985
feet (300 meters).
The unfinished Rogun Dam was severely damaged by floods in the early
1990s and is currently undergoing major repairs, so its reservoir is
not yet filled. The completed Nurek Dam produces electricity and
water for irrigation.
The third tallest dam is Switzerland's Grand Dixence, at 285 meters.
The tallest dam in the United States is the Oroville Dam in northern
California, at 755 feet (230 meters). Oroville is 16th on the world list.
The world's tallest dam is the partly-constructed Rogun Dam in
Tajikistan, a tiny country in the jagged mountains between China
and Afghanistan. At 1100 feet tall (336 meters, about as high as a
100-story building) this earth and rock dam overtops its nearby
neighbor the Nurek Dam, which is the world's second tallest at 985
feet (300 meters).
The unfinished Rogun Dam was severely damaged by floods in the early
1990s and is currently undergoing major repairs, so its reservoir is
not yet filled. The completed Nurek Dam produces electricity and
water for irrigation.
The third tallest dam is Switzerland's Grand Dixence, at 285 meters.
The tallest dam in the United States is the Oroville Dam in northern
California, at 755 feet (230 meters). Oroville is 16th on the world list.
THE SIX PHASES OF A PROJECT
.
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise and Honor for the Non-Participants
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the Guilty
5. Punishment of the Innocent
6. Praise and Honor for the Non-Participants
Blog Wedding
.
Q: What happens when two bullets get married?
A: They have a little BB.
Q: What happens when two bullets get married?
A: They have a little BB.
Running Out
.
There are a lot of folks that can't understand how
we ran out of oil here in the USA.
Well, here's the answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered
to check the oil. Didn't know we were getting low. And of
course the reason for that is geographical. Most of the oil
is offshore or in Texas, Alaska and Oklahoma, and all the
dipsticks are the liberals in the U.S. Senate.
There are a lot of folks that can't understand how
we ran out of oil here in the USA.
Well, here's the answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered
to check the oil. Didn't know we were getting low. And of
course the reason for that is geographical. Most of the oil
is offshore or in Texas, Alaska and Oklahoma, and all the
dipsticks are the liberals in the U.S. Senate.
Was Hurricane Katrina 'Intelligent Design?'
.
NPR Senior News Analyst, Daniel Schorr, observed that
President Bush had “staked out a non-position” on the
debate between evolution and intelligent design. Bush
had said that “both sides ought to be properly taught
in the schools of America.”
Then, with manifest scorn, Schorr linked the devastation
of Hurricane Katrina with the concept of intelligent design:
“[Bush] might well have reflected that, if this was the result
of intelligent design, then the designer has something to
answer for.”
MORE!!!
NPR Senior News Analyst, Daniel Schorr, observed that
President Bush had “staked out a non-position” on the
debate between evolution and intelligent design. Bush
had said that “both sides ought to be properly taught
in the schools of America.”
Then, with manifest scorn, Schorr linked the devastation
of Hurricane Katrina with the concept of intelligent design:
“[Bush] might well have reflected that, if this was the result
of intelligent design, then the designer has something to
answer for.”
MORE!!!
Tuesday
Blog Question
.
Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
A: Close the door, I'm dressing!
Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?
A: Close the door, I'm dressing!
Blog Statement
.
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!
Blog Harvard U.
.
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited
just thinking about his future. He gets into a taxi and the
driver says, "How are you on this lovely day?"
"I'm the Class of 2005 & just graduated from Harvard and I just
can't wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me."
The driver looks back to shake the young man's hand and says,
"Congratulations, I'm Mitch Class of 1979."
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited
just thinking about his future. He gets into a taxi and the
driver says, "How are you on this lovely day?"
"I'm the Class of 2005 & just graduated from Harvard and I just
can't wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me."
The driver looks back to shake the young man's hand and says,
"Congratulations, I'm Mitch Class of 1979."
Answers To UNC Vocabulary Test
.
Paradox \par'-u-doks\: two physicians
Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm
Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: what penguins see with
Primate \pri'-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief \ree-leef'\: what trees do in the spring
Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife
Seamstress \seem'-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six
Selfish \sel'-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does
Subdued \sub-dood'\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like,
submarines, man
Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government official
Paradox \par'-u-doks\: two physicians
Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm
Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: what penguins see with
Primate \pri'-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief \ree-leef'\: what trees do in the spring
Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife
Seamstress \seem'-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six
Selfish \sel'-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does
Subdued \sub-dood'\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like,
submarines, man
Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government official
Blog Bank
.
A UNC student went into a bank to withdraw some money.
"Can you identify yourself?" asked the bank clerk.
The student pulls a mirror out of her handbag, looks into
it and says, "Yes, it's me alright."
A UNC student went into a bank to withdraw some money.
"Can you identify yourself?" asked the bank clerk.
The student pulls a mirror out of her handbag, looks into
it and says, "Yes, it's me alright."
Blog Husband
.
A young lady visited the matchmaker for marriage
and requested - "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please
help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said, "You're requirements please."
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for conversation
and be silent when I want to rest."
The matchmaker listened carefully and replied,
"I understand. You need a television."
A young lady visited the matchmaker for marriage
and requested - "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please
help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said, "You're requirements please."
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite,
humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for conversation
and be silent when I want to rest."
The matchmaker listened carefully and replied,
"I understand. You need a television."
Blog Fall
.
A civil servant is badly hurt falling down the stairs of the Post
Office in Atlanta. He is taken to the hospital where he remains
in a coma for several days.
Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him:
"My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all,
you'll never be able to work again..."
"No," muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?"
A civil servant is badly hurt falling down the stairs of the Post
Office in Atlanta. He is taken to the hospital where he remains
in a coma for several days.
Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him:
"My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all,
you'll never be able to work again..."
"No," muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?"
Riddles For 9.6.5
Riddles:
1) I sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg.
I have plenty of backbone,
But I lack a good leg.
I peel layers like onions,
But I still remain whole.
I am as long as a flagpole.
Yet I fit in a hole.
What am I?
2) I rule over everything
I lay mountains low
I dethrone all kings
and kingdoms overthrow
I am measured
yet have no substance
I exist but can't be touched
I am everywhere yet I am nothing
you live by my standard day by day
can you find me? Well, it's simple--
most everyone carries me to work everyday
3) You are going to mail a letter, but the only information
you have is listed below. What would his address be?
WOOD
JOHN
MASS
4) What has roots that nobody sees, and is taller than trees.
Up, up it goes, and yet it never grows.
What is it?
5) These ten fictitious names are all rearrangements of the
names of famous people. For example, if Sheila O'Norton
was in the list, you would discover that this was really
Horatio Nelson is disguise. Can you discover who everyone
really is?
a) Jamie Braser f) Jon Hasket
b) Frank Cardise g) Fred Hyron
c) Fred Colatis h) Mark Larx
d) Alfie Dondee i) Helmut Tarrin
e) Fidel Haltor j) June Seatan
6) I sit and face you and you stare right back.
You say nothing to me for I do not understand,
but you understand all of what I say if you want to.
I never move but I can make you feel any number of
different emotions but mostly none at all,
then you leave without saying goodbye.
What am I?
7) A man gets out of jail and goes to a nearby hotel where he leaves
a considerable sum of money. He then moves his car to another
hotel where he leaves a lesser sum of money. What is he doing???
8) I can bring a smile to your face,
a tear to your eye,
or even a thought to your mind;
but I can't be seen...
9) What type of room has neither window, door, ceiling, nor floor?
ANSWERS HERE!!!
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