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We have -
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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself



Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas - 1947

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Future Santa???




Click on Pic to enlarge...

If Wal-Mart ran Christmas...
They would immediately
change the name to Wal-Mas.

If IRS ran Christmas...
We would have no tree.

If Senate Democrats ran Christmas... We would have
Merry Holidays.


Dark Night Of The Soul

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I had barely caught my breath when my precious daughter Emily
was diagnosed with
melanoma. I was soon back in the hospital,
again praying fervently. Two of my
three kids with cancer:
Where was my good life?



The People Who Walk In Darkness
Will See A Great Light

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The people who walk in darkness will see a great light.
Those who live in a dark land, the light will shine on them.
Those words from the prophet Isaiah told of the coming
Prince of Peace, and of the light and life He would bring.


Christmas arrives again with all the promise of remembrance
and celebration. Christians celebrate Christmas because
the light did dawn. The birth of Jesus in Bethlehem was
not only the fulfillment of biblical prophecy, but the dawn
of a new age. As the angels declared to the shepherds,
this infant is "a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."




Happy Winter

The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year, respectively,
in the sense that the length of time elapsed between sunrise and
sunset on this day is a minimum for the year. Of course, daylight
saving time means that the first Sunday in April has 23 hours and
the last Sunday in October has 25 hours, but these human meddlings
with the calendar and do not correspond to the actual number of
daylight hours. In Chicago, there are 9:20 hours of daylight on
the winter solstice of December 22.



Who Were The
Three Wise Men?

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Not much is generally known about the mysterious
Magi who came to worship the infant Jesus.



Court Censorship

An attempt by an activist federal judge to stop the spread
of a scientific idea and even to prevent criticism of Darwinian
evolution through government-imposed censorship rather
than open debate.




Christmas Riddles


The following are alternate titles for several well-known
Christmas songs. See how many you can guess!!!!

1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas.
2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres.
3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's Mom
....by a precipitous darling.

4. Wanted in December, two forward incisors.
5. The apartment of two psychiatrist...
6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist.
7. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in
.....inverted metallic resonant cups.

8. Embellish the interior passageways.

9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish
.....metallic element.

10. Small municipality in Judea, southeast of Jerusalem.
11. Far off in a hay bin.
12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole. .
13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the
......Yuletide season. .

14. Proceed forth declaring upon a specific geological
......alpine formation.

15. Jovial Yuletide desired for the second person
......singular or plural by us.

16. The Yuletide preceding all others. .
17. As the guardians of the wooly animals protected
......their charges in the dark hours.

18. An emotion excited by the acquisition of expectation
......of good given to the terrestrial sphere.

19. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction. .
20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate
.......my auditory sense organs?

21. Sir lancelot with laryngitis. .
22. Parent was observed osculating a red coated,
......unshaven teamster.

23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue
......to mild, male humans.

24. An event arriving on a cloudless hour.
25. Uncouth, communist dolf is aware of the nature
......of precipitation, darling.

26. Listen, the celestial messengers produce
......harmonious sounds.

27. Move hitherto the entire assembly of those
......who are loyal to the belief.

28. Natal celebration devoid of color, rather albino,
......as a hallucinatory phenomenon for me.

29. Animated, endomorphic personification fabricated
......of compressed spheroids of minute crystalline, frozen
......dehydrogenated oxide.

30. Expectation of arrival to populated area by mythical,
......masculine perennial gift giver.


Dear Howdy,

You could use your old computer to shop for
a new computer online. But that seems kind
of cruel, doesn't it? Like asking your dying
spouse if he or she has any cute friends.

Scott O.


Dear Howdy,

Thanks to the invention of the telescope, planets that are
100 billion miles away look to be only 50 billion miles away.

Merry Christmas,
John W.


I was recently talking with a UNC student who bemoaned
her family's lack of holiday rituals. "My family doesn't have
any traditions," she complained. "We just do the same thing
year after year after year."


Physics classes at the UNC are tough:

Prof: "What is the relationship between
kinetic and potential energy?"

Sophomore: As far as I know, they're just
friends, but there could be something else
going on there.


"I'm afraid you only have three weeks to live," the doctor
told the UNC grad.

The UNC grad replied, "Then I'll take the last two weeks in
July and the week between Christmas and New Year."


Questions Of Disaster & Judgment


I get a lot of questions about all kinds of subjects.
But the question I'm asked
most often these days
is about hurricanes, volcanoes, earthquakes, and
bird flu.


A N.C. State Trooper pulls a car with a UNC decal over on
lonely back road and approaches the driver. "Ma'am, is there
reason that you're weaving all over the road"?

The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!!
I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right
in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree
in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree
in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,
officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."



"Doctor, can you help me? Every time I sit down
I see visions of Mickey Mouse and Pluto, and
then when stand up I see Donald Duck!"

"I see. Tell me, how long have you been suffering
these DISNEY spells?"


Here's What Happened:

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Dear Friends,

At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be

taken throughout the Roman Empire. (This was the first census taken when
Quirinius was governor of Syria.) All returned to their own towns to
register for this census. And because Joseph was a descendant of King David,
he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David's ancient home. He traveled there
from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. He took with him Mary, his fianc'e,
who was obviously pregnant by this time. And while they were there, the time
came for her baby to be born. She gave birth to her first child, a son. She
wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because
there was no room for them in the village inn.

That night some shepherds were in the fields outside the village, guarding
their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them,
and the radiance of the Lord's glory surrounded them. They were terribly
frightened, but the angel reassured them. "Don't be afraid!" he said. "I
bring you good news of great joy for everyone! The Savior yes, the Messiah,
the Lord has been born tonight in Bethlehem, the city of David! And this is
how you will recognize him: You will find a baby lying in a manger, wrapped
snugly in strips of cloth!" Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of
others the armies of heaven praising God: "Glory to God in the highest
heaven, and peace on earth to all whom God favors. " When the angels had
returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Come on, let's go to
Bethlehem! Let's see this wonderful thing that has happened, which the Lord
has told us about." They ran to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And
there was the baby, lying in the manger. Then the shepherds told everyone
what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All
who heard the shepherds' story were astonished, but Mary quietly treasured
these things in her heart and thought about them often. The shepherds went
back to their fields and flocks, glorifying and praising God for what the
angels had told them, and because they had seen the child, just as the angel
had said.

Merry Christmas,
Dr. Luke


I was going shopping to buy a gift for my wife
and asked her for her sizes. "If it is clothes
it's small' "If it's diamonds, I wear Large"




Solve the puzzles by saying them out loud,
over and over, faster and faster, repeating
the phrase, until you "hear" the answer.

Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place)
Answer: Los Angeles

1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)
2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character)
3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)
4. MOW BEAD HICK (book)
6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)
8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)
13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN (fictional character)
15. BUCK SPUN HE (fictional character)

{Write down your answers first before looking}





1. Santa lives at the North Pole.
Anyone who has ever dated/married/been in the same room with
a woman knows that unless the air temperature is high enough
to cook a small turkey, she will complain about it being too cold.
So, there is NO way she would choose the North Pole as her base
of operations. The Bahamas would be more to her taste.

2. Santa is fat and jolly.
I dare ANYONE to describe ANY woman as "fat and jolly" to her
face and expect to survive! If Santa was a woman, and you refereed
to her as this, you wouldn't find coal in your stocking, you'd find a

3. Santa at the mall.
Now, I know that others have used the "Mall" example as proof that
Santa is a woman. However, you see both men and women at the mall.
And let me ask you this...What does Santa DO at the mall??? HE SITS
DOWN!!! Do you ever see women sitting down at the mall??? Noooo!
Women are running around trying to find a dust ruffle that matches the
throw pillows on her sister's day-bed! Men sit...Santa sits. 'nuff said.

4. Santa walks around on rooftops.
I don't know about you, but my wife REFUSES to get on the roof! If there
is anything to be done up there, she sends me. In fact, I don't think I have
EVER seen a woman up on a roof. The fact that Santa is perfectly comfortable
walking around on a slippery, angled housetop is further proof that he is a "He!"

5. Santa likes Milk and Cookies.
If Santa were a woman, we'd have to leave Godiva Chocolate and International
Foods Flavored Coffee. Or maybe herbal tea. Of course, if she was still sensitive
about the whole "Fat and Jolly" thing, she would demand nothing more than a
carrot stick and a glass of water.

6. Santa uses the Chimney.
No woman would ever THINK about crawling into a dirty, smelly chimney.
A woman would carry a spare set of keys for every house. Of course, this
would never work because she wouldn't be able to find them in her purse.

7. Santa has reindeer.
Reindeer are totally for guys; they are big, hairy, smelly, and have huge antlers.
A woman would never use them. She would prefer to be driven around in a stretch
limo. Or, if she really wanted to use the traditional sleigh, they would have to be
pulled by horses. I mean, what is it with women and horses??

And that's why Santa is a man!

By Bill Helker


The UNC* math professor saw that a sophomore wasn't
paying attention in class. She called on him and said,
"What are 3, 4, 28 and 44?"

The sophomore quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, Weather
Channel, and the Cartoon Network
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., N.U.T., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.


All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That H Enjoys" Below * * *

* * * Great Archives Here - - - - "Music That Howdy Enjoys" Below * * *

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Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

Bible Study Info

Christian Web Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Crowd

Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Music That Ho Enjoys

God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O


The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond



Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn


Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue



Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much






Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!



The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


Click Here

Verse of the Day

* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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