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By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

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Humor + Letters From Readers
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DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the
strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything
we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and
to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make
those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house
The humble potato chip is more popular in America than in any other
part of the world. America's favorite snack food, it is a direct
descendant of another popular potato snack, the french fry. How did it happen?

According to the popular story, a dinner guest (rumored to have been
wealthy railroad tycoon Cornelius Vanderbilt) was dining at Moon's
Lake House in Saratoga Springs, New York in 1853. He sent his french
fries back to the kitchen because they were too thick. The chef, a
Native American named George Crum, was annoyed at the guest's
complaint, so he responded by slicing the potatoes into extremely
thin sections, which he fried in oil and salted.

From that day forward, potato chips evolved into the many forms and
varieties we have today including chips of many flavors, fat-free
potato chips cooked in high-tech synthetic chemicals, and even
artificially shaped chips pressed from potato pulp and sold in
cardboard tubes.
Two rules for life:
1.Don't tell people everything you know.

1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.
2. If it's on sale, you need it.
3. Never ask your mother her opinion.
4. You can always take it back.
5. You'll grow into it.
6. By the time you need it, you'll lose ten pounds.
7. Never believe anyone who says, "It's really you".
8. $$$
9. Know when to yell, "Charge!"
10. So many malls, so little time.
11. If you put it on your credit card, it's not really spending money.
12. Always try to spend someone else's money first.
13. There's no such thing as compulsive shopping, just enthusiastic
14. Shopping is patriotic. It's good for the economy.
15. If you've still got checks, there must be money in the account.
16. You can always get more credit.
17. If you want it, you deserve it.
Dear Howdy,

In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights ...
dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses,
balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was
endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant.

Approaching his room one afternoon, the Resident Assistant noticed his
door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge,
ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his
sink, he thought: Those crazy guys actually thought they could fool me with
that old gag! It was then he realized that "those crazy guys" had removed
the drainpipe beneath his sink.

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room...

There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered
with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries
that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But
these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly
endlessly in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was
one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping
through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I
recognized the names written on each one. And then without being
told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small
files was a catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions
of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within
me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content.
Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and
regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone
was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends
I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright
weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have
Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in
their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers". Others I
couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have
Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be
surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I
expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the
sheer volume of the life I had lived.

Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each
of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed
this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with
my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I
realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were
packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the
end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of
music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run
through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to
test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed
content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: ?No
one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have
to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size
didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I
took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not
dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only
to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and
utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my
forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel
With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost
unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three
inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained
on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep
that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on
my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame
of it all.

The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must
ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him.
Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to
open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His
response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His
face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go
to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He
turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with
pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I
dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again.
He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many
things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He
got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of
the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name
over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could
find to say was "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name
shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich,
so dark, and so alive.

The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He
gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign
the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so
quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last
file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and
said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room.
There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever
believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
The Second Ten Commandments

1. Thou shall not worry,
for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

2. Thou shall not be fearful,
for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them,
for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this.

4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes.
You can only handle one at a time anyway.

5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you,
for they make very poor bedfellows.

6. Thou shall not borrow other people's problems.
They can better care for them than you can.

7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill,
it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening
in your life and be happy now!

8. Thou shall be a good listener,
for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from
your own. It is hard to learn something new when you are
talking, and some people do know more than you do.

9. Thou shall not become "bogged down" by frustration,
for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only
interfere with positive action.

10. Thou shall count thy blessings,
never overlooking the small ones,
for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one

Author Unknown
A N.C. State Trooper pulls a car with a UNC decal over on a lonely back
road and approaches the driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason
that you're weaving all over the road"?
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!!
I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right
in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree
in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree
in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the
officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
In the early days of automobiles, tires were seldom black. The rubber
from which they were made was naturally colored off-white or tan.
Today's black tires owe their color to an accidental discovery.

In 1885, the rubber tire company B.F. Goodrich decided to try black
tires, thinking that they might not show the dirt as much. They added
carbon black pigment to the rubber mixture. To their surprise, they
discovered that the carbon-colored rubber tires were five times more
durable than the uncolored ones.

Today's tires are far tougher than those first black tires, and much
more elaborate. They contain dozens of layers, with steel belts and
computer-designed treads. But the basic black rubber is still an
important part of the design.
A flight attendant encountered a UNC grad sitting in the
first class section with a business class ticket. She
told her she would not be able to sit in that section
but the lady refused to move.

She said, "I'm a UNC grad, I'm beautiful, I'm going to
New York, and you can't make me move."

The flight attendant went to the head attendant who
went to the lady and again asked her to move
because she was sitting in the first class section
and didn't belong there.

Again the lady said, "I'm a UNC grad, I'm beautiful, I'm
going to New York, and you can't make me move."

Finally, in exasperation the flight attendants went
to the pilot and explained the situation.

He replied, "Oh, I can take care of that. My wife is
a UNC grad."

He went back and whispered something to the lady,
and she immediately got up and walked back to
the business section.

The others were curious as to why she responded
so fast to him and asked for an explanation.

The pilot said, "Oh, it was simple. I just told her that
the first class section wasn't going to New York."
New Computer Virus Alerts

Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down.

Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.

Tim Allen virus - Appears helpful, only to later destroy
your hard drive.

Saddam Hussein virus - Won't let you into any of your

Tonya Harding virus - Turns your .BAT files into lethal

X-files virus - All your Icons start shape-shifting.

Spice Girl virus - Has no real function, but makes a
pretty desktop.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus - Searches for old files and
deletes them.

Martha Stewart virus - Takes all your files, sorts them
by category, and folds them into cute little doilies to
be displayed on your desktop.

Oprah Winfrey virus - Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus - Terminates and stays
resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus - Every three minutes it tells you what
great service you're getting.

MCI virus - Every three minutes it reminds you that
you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Three older people were discussing some of the memory problems
associated with aging.

One woman said, "I open the refrigerator door but can't
remember what I'm looking for."

The other woman replied, "I go upstairs to my room but can't
recall whether I was supposed to bring something upstairs or
take something back down."

"Well, fortunately nothing like that is happening to me, knock
on wood," said the man of the group, rapping on the table as he
said it. His face suddenly went blank as his head cocked to one
side. After a moment, he looked up and said, "Excuse me, I have
to get the door."
August, 1587
Virginia Dare became the first child of English parents to be born in
the New World. The daughter of Ananias and Eleanor Dare, Virginia
was part of a colony that settled in Roanoke Island on the North
Carolina coast. When a relief expedition arrived at Roanoke three
years later, there was no trace of Virginia or of the other colonists.
Finding Our Roots: Christianity and Biology
by Charles Colson

When several Christians were elected to the school
board in Vista, California, a few years ago, national
groups immediately swooped down for the kill. The
American Civil Liberties Union and People for the
American Way relentlessly attacked the board members
as bigots and religious extremists.

What is their crime? Why, the Vista board actually
asked schools to teach students the scientific
evidence against evolution.

The uproar that ensued highlights the rigid dogmatism
with which evolution is treated in the schools today.
To question the ruling orthodoxy of Darwinism is
dismissed as out of bounds. To go further and suggest
that life may be the product of design or purpose is
regarded as really outrageous as some oddball
invention of the Religious Right.

But design in nature is no recent invention of
religious extremists. In fact, it has a long and
respectable history. As Nancy Pearcey and Charles
Thaxton show in their book The Soul of Science, for
nearly three centuries biology was dominated by the
Christian concept of creation.

Take, for example, John Ray, in the seventeenth
century. Ray is credited with offering the first
biological definition of species based not on how
organisms look or behave but on reproduction: No
matter how much variation an organism may exhibit, it
belongs to the same species as its parents.

To modern ears, this sounds obvious. That's because
reproduction the ability to interbreed has become the
standard definition of species. But where did it
originate? From Genesis 1. John Ray proposed that a
species consists of all the descendants of a male-
female pair created by God just as the human race
consists of all the descendants of the original human
pair, Adam and Eve.

Another famous believer in creation was George
Cuvier in the nineteenth century. It was said that
Cuvier could reconstruct an extinct animal from a
single bone. His stunning accomplishments flowed from
his conviction that God created each organism as an
integrated system with each part adapted to its way
of life. So carnivores have claws and sharp teeth for
catching prey, while grazing animals have hooves
instead of claws, and flat, rough teeth for grinding.

Cuvier was adamantly opposed to any notion of
evolution. He argued that since an organism is an
integrated system, you cannot create a new organism
by random changes. It would be like letting a child
randomly move a few wires around in your computer.
Obviously, that would be much more likely to destroy
the computer than to create a new and better one.

If these arguments sound familiar, it's because they
have been revived in recent years by the design
movement. The idea of design is not a recent
fabrication by religious zealots. It has a rich and
respectable history.

Groups like the ACLU will continue to inflame public
fears, warning that any mention of design in the
classroom will destroy science. But our response
ought to be that for centuries the majority of
biologists believed in design in creation and biology
survived very well indeed.

As Christians, we desperately need to recover our
history and to reclaim our rich heritage in science.

"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" ("BreakPoint") is a
daily commentary on news and trends from a Christian
perspective. Heard on more than 425 radio stations
nationwide, BreakPoint transcripts are also available
on the Internet. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up on our Web site at
www.breakpoint.org. If they do not have access to
the World Wide Web, please call 1-800-457-6125.
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Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

Bible Study Info

Christian Web Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Crowd

Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions


Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*


Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}

Music That Ho Enjoys

God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O


The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond



Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn


Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue



Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much






Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!



The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


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Verse of the Day

* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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