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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

************************
Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself
************************

Tuesday

 

Really Corny V-Day Questions



What did the boy elephant say to the girl elephant on Valentine's Day?

What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine's Day?



What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day?



What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?



What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?

What did the boy rabbit say to the girl rabbit on Valentine's Day?



What did the letter say to the stamp?

What did the stamp say to the envelope?



What do you call a very small valentine?

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?

ANSWERS!!!







Comments:
I was one an early-morning airplane flight, packed with business
people. And as we landed that morning, we had one of those "two for the
price of one" landings. We bumped and jumped along the runway as we landed,
suddenly commanding the attention of all the passengers who are usually numb
from frequent travel. I thought, "I wonder what the flight attendant is
going to say - this was not just a routine landing." Well, the attendant
simply got on the P. A. and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, now that I have
your attention, I'd like to make a few announcements..." Man, did he have
our attention!

Now, maybe you've been experiencing some bumpy landings lately. It
could be that God is saying, "Now that I've got your attention, I'd like to
make a few announcements." Often, life's bumpy landings are God's way of
getting our attention to tell us things and show us things that we could
otherwise never see.

My experience has been that God has three tools that He seems to use
over and over again to show us His glory and to shape our lives. One example
is in our word for today from the Word of God in Psalm 135:5-7. God's wakeup
tool here is the weather. "I know that the Lord is great ... The Lord does
whatever pleases Him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all
their depths. He makes clouds rise from the ends of the earth; He sends
lightning with the rain and brings out the wind from the storehouses."

OK, well there's nothing random about the weather - God uses it, God
designs it, to accomplish His purposes - and to show us His greatness. We
can have the most elaborate plans, but one storm can change all that. The
weather is beyond our control. God uses it to get our attention, to change
our plans, and to accomplish His plans.

Another tool God loves to use when He's trying to get our attention
is our health. Again, it's something we have little control over. It's
amazing how one visit to a doctor's office can change our life. But sickness
and disease aren't random either. They, like the weather, are ultimately
subject to the sovereignty of Almighty God. And God accomplishes His perfect
will through our health - and does some amazingly beautiful things through
painful times.

One other tool God uses is our finances. Again, our financial
situation is at the mercy of so many things we cannot control - but God can
... and does. And our financial needs become a powerful tool in God's hands
to draw us much closer to Him, to make us evaluate our priorities, to put
His Kingdom first.

The weather ... the money ... your health - three power tools that
God uses to show us His Lordship and power, to get our attention, to restore
or maybe deepen our dependency on Him, and to surgically remove the
spiritual cancers in our life. Our God reigns, and He is using the things we
can't control to get us to give Him greater control of our lives. Things
aren't out of control just because you're experiencing some bumpy landings.
God is using those bumpy landings to get your attention and give you
messages from Him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Discuss today's "A Word With You," post your comments!
http://forums.gospelcom.net/view/rhm/awwy

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship with Jesus Christ,
please visit YOURS FOR LIFE: HOW TO HAVE LIFE'S MOST IMPORTANT
RELATIONSHIP at:
http://www.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bounce?b=871
Or, call 1-888-NEED HIM.

"A Word With You" by Ron Hutchcraft is a daily radio challenge, with
slice-of-life illustrations and insights - providing practical help on the
issues that matter most. If your local Christian radio station does not air
"A Word With You," please let them know how much you value this program.
Over six years of transcripts are available online, at
http://www.gospelcom.net/rhm/awwy/
 
Spurgeon's Morning & Evening Devotions

"Thou art weighed in the balances and art found wanting."
- Daniel 5:27


It is well frequently to weigh ourselves in the scale of God's
Word. You will find it a holy exercise to read some psalm of
David, and, as you meditate upon each verse, to ask yourself,
"Can I say this? Have I felt as David felt? Has my heart ever
been broken on account of sin, as his was when he penned his
penitential psalms? Has my soul been full of true confidence in
the hour of difficulty as his was when he sang of God's mercies
in the cave of Adullam, or in the holds of Engedi? Do I take the
cup of salvation and call upon the name of the Lord?" Then turn
to the life of Christ, and as you read, ask yourselves how far
you are conformed to his likeness. Endeavour to discover whether
you have the meekness, the humility, the lovely spirit which he
constantly inculcated and displayed.

Take, then, the epistles, and see whether you can go with the
apostle in what he said of his experience. Have you ever cried
out as he did-"O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me
from the body of this death?" Have you ever felt his
self-abasement? Have you seemed to yourself the chief of sinners,
and less than the least of all saints? Have you known anything of
his devotion? Could you join with him and say, "For me to live is
Christ, and to die is gain"? If we thus read God's Word as a test
of our spiritual condition, we shall have good reason to stop
many a time and say, "Lord, I feel I have never yet been here, O
bring me here! give me true penitence, such as this I read of.
Give me real faith; give me warmer zeal; inflame me with more
fervent love; grant me the grace of meekness; make me more like
Jesus.

Let me no longer be 'found wanting,' when weighed in the balances
of the sanctuary, lest I be found wanting in the scales of
judgment. " "Judge yourselves that ye be not judged. "


"Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling."
- 2 Timothy 1:9


The apostle uses the perfect tense and says, "Who hath saved us."
Believers in Christ Jesus are saved. They are not looked upon as
persons who are in a hopeful state, and may ultimately be saved,
but they are already saved.

Salvation is not a blessing to be enjoyed upon the dying bed, and
to be sung of in a future state above, but a matter to be
obtained, received, promised, and enjoyed now. The Christian is
perfectly saved in God's purpose; God has ordained him unto
salvation, and that purpose is complete. He is saved also as to
the price which has been paid for him: "It is finished" was the
cry of the Saviour ere he died.

The believer is also perfectly saved in his covenant head, for as
he fell in Adam, so he lives in Christ. This complete salvation
is accompanied by a holy calling. Those whom the Saviour saved
upon the cross are in due time effectually called by the power of
God the Holy Spirit unto holiness: they leave their sins; they
endeavour to be like Christ; they choose holiness, not out of any
compulsion, but from the stress of a new nature, which leads them
to rejoice in holiness just as naturally as aforetime they
delighted in sin.

God neither chose them nor called them because they were holy,
but he called them that they might be holy, and holiness is the
beauty produced by his workmanship in them. The excellencies
which we see in a believer are as much the work of God as the
atonement itself. Thus is brought out very sweetly the fulness of
the grace of God.

Salvation must be of grace, because the Lord is the author of it:
and what motive but grace could move him to save the guilty?
Salvation must be of grace, because the Lord works in such a
manner that our righteousness is for ever excluded. Such is the
believer's privilege-a present salvation; such is the evidence
that he is called to it-a holy life.

-----------
This daily devotional is published and distributed by:
http://www.crosswalk.com
 
I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to
us through this book." --Abraham Lincoln

"For we must consider that we shall be as a City upon a hill.
The eyes of all people are upon us. So that if we shall deal
falsely with our God in this work we have undertaken, and
so cause Him to withdraw his present help from us, we
shall be made a story and a byword throughout the world."
--John Winthrop, Governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, 1630

"America was born a Christian nation. America was born
to exemplify that devotion to the elements of righteousness,
which are derived from the revelations of Holy Scriptures.
Part of the destiny of Americans lies in their daily perusal
of this great book of revelations. That if they would see
America free and pure they will make their own spirits
free and pure by this baptism of the Holy Spirit."
--Woodrow Wilson

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this
great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians;
not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this
very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum,
prosperity, and freedom of worship here."
--Patrick Henry, original member of the Continental Congress
 
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Jesus and The Da Vinci Code

How Can I Know God???

Tales of Narnia

Answering Islam

The Da Vinci Code

A Short Look At Six World Religions

Bible - God's Word in different languages...

Bible Study Info

Christian Web Info

Don't Be Left Behind

For The University Crowd

Hard Questions Answered

How to become a Christian

Mr. Contoversial

Great For Kids

Stories For Kids

Bible Knowledge Challenge

The Young Earth Club

Who Is Jesus???

Christian Apologetics

Christian Web Info

God Bless The USA

Great Christians In History

History of American Christianity

Bible Instructions

RBC

Dr. Ben Haden

Bible Search Tools

Kids For Truth

Lincoln - A Christian

Mission To America

One Place For Learning

Our Daily Bread

President Lincoln

Red Skelton's Pledge of Allegiance

Intellectual Takeout

Evangelical Viewpoint

Dr. John Vernon McGee

Insight For Living

Turning Point

Outstanding Bible Teacher

Dr. Tony Evans

Listen To The Bible

Is Jesus God?

Great Bible Teaching

*America - Why I Love Her - Big John Wayne*

The Church & Israel

How To Become A Christian

*Watch The Jesus Movie*

Fireworks

Your very own library

Muhammad or Jesus???

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 1

Why The U.S.A. Is At War - 2

Christian Women

Is Jesus God?

Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

Bible Crosswords

Great Bible Teacher

All About Cults

Religion Comparison

The Relationship of the Church to Israel

Just For Guys

Church History

***Watch The Jesus Movie***
{Many Languages}





Music That Ho Enjoys



God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O

LawOrder

The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond

Jaws

Magnum

Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn

Rocky

Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue

Downtown

Elvis

Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge

MalagueƱa

Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Charade

The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me

SWonderful

Adios

A Foggy Day

Amor

Anna

Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band

Bolero

Brazil

Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore

Solace

Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley

Tequila

That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much

I WALK THE LINE

EL PASO

TENNESSEE WALTZ

STAND BY YOUR MAN

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

When I Fall In Love II

When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know

Fascination

I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain

CanadianSunset

It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'

Wanted

No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love

Sincerely

Sweetheart

In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart

HeartOfMyHeart

Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...

Unforgettable

Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young

Because

Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas

Windy

My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember

HernandosHideaway

Be My Love

Embassy Waltz

Misty

A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink

Downtown

Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer

Lollipops

Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight

Frenesi

Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Misty

Gina

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely

Pachelbel

Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II

Rawhide

I Walk The Line


God loves you so much that He died for you!!!



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Verse of the Day




* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.




D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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