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We have -
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The E.Newspaper
By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D.
A.P.E., N.U.T.

Check Out Comments -
Humor + Letters From Readers
Add Something Yourself


The image “http://www.pataskalalibrary.org/images/Dog%20reading%20book.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

I am reading a very interesting book about
anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Looks like it's about cats to me - but that's just me...
Please note: If you see a UNC student, liberal or Democrat reading 'Thought & Humor', please explain
to them which is thought & which is humor. They always get it backwards.......

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobic class pulls a hamstring.

Women over 50 don't have babies, because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2 lb. box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my
address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative, but I heard from it the other day after
I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to a six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Do it and die."

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing...and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one.

"Me too" said the second. "Lets fly down and find some lunch."

They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full
of worms. They ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more.

"I'm so full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.

"Me either. Let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun." said the second.

"O.K." said the first.

They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen
asleep, when a big fat tom cat snuck up and gobbled them up.

As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, "I love baskin' robins."

1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late
and need the delay to make the flight.

2. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from
the farthest gate within the terminal.

3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience
turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start
to drink your coffee.

6. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get
up to go to the lavatory.

7. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

8. The less carryon luggage space available on an aircraft,
the more carryon luggage passengers will bring aboard.
At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh
criticism of being "lifeless as a statue."

"That is absurd," Gore stoically stated. "When elected, the
people of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly am."

Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper,
"Honey, you have a pigeon on your head."

1) phantasmagoria fan-taz-muh-GOR-ee-uh (noun)
: a shifting series or succession of things seen or
imagined, as in a dream.
: any constantly changing scene.

Phantasmagoria is from French phantasmagorie, from
phantasme, "phantasm" (from Greek, from phantazein, "to
make visible," from phantos, "visible," from phainein,
"to show") + -agorie, perhaps from Greek agora,

2) bazodee ba zo dee (adjective)
: unable to think clearly, either because of psycho-
logical turmoil or because of some physical condition
or effect

Via French Creole from French abasourdi "stunned,

1) You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.

2) You have to be against capital punishment, but
for abortion on demand, in short you support
protecting the guilty and killing the innocent.

3) You have to believe that the same public school
teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is
qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

4) You have to believe that trial lawyers are
selfless heroes and doctors, soldiers, & policemen are overpaid.

5) You have to believe that guns in the hands of
law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than
nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.

6) You have to believe that global temperatures are
less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the
Sun, and more affected by SUVs.

7) You have to believe that gender roles are
artificial but being gay is natural.

8) You have to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.

9) You have to believe that hunters don't care
about nature but animal rights activists who've never
been outside Seattle do.

10) You have to believe that self-esteem is more
important than actually doing something to earn it.

11) You have to believe there was no art before
federal funding.

12) You have to believe the military, not corrupt
politicians, start wars.

13) You have to believe the free market that gives
us 500+ channels can't deliver the quality that PBS does.

14) You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it
stands up for certain parts of the Constitution, while
the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain
parts of the Constitution.

(Wall Street Journal)
-- Jack Benny - December 26, 1974
Born February 14, 1894
Actor, Producer, Comedian. He is best remembered for his
comically inept violin playing (he was actually a very good
violin player), his carefully constructed image as a penny-
pincher, and for never being older than 39. His most famous
joke was as a man confronted by a robber who demands "Your
money or your life!" to which he would pause for an extremely
long silence, then reply "I'm thinking it over!" He began in
vaudeville as a violin player after serving in the US Navy
during World War I. He appeared in a number of movie shorts,
getting his movie breakthrough in MGM's The Hollywood Revue,
and got the lead role in The Medicine Man. From 1950 to 1965,
he had his own television show The Jack Benny Show, which was
a hit throughout its run.
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Christian Women

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Statement Of What Howdy Believes!!!

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All About Cults

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Music That Ho Enjoys

God Bless America - Kate Smith

Military Music

Boston Pops: God Bless America

This Land Is Your Land

Blue Moon

Say A Prayer

Hawaii Five O


The Battle Of New Orleans

Beverly Hillbillies

Indiana Jones

James Bond



Mission Impossible

Peter Gunn


Singing In The Rain

Star Wars

Top Gun

Peggy Sue



Chuck Berry

Rock Around The Clock

Dueling Guitars

Blueberry Hill

A Taste Of Honey - clip

(I Left My Heart) In San Francisco - clip

Take The 'A' Train - clip

Hello, Dolly! - clip

Peggy Sue - clip

Theme From Peter Gunn - clip

Song from Moulin Rouge


Ebb Tide

Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind

Around the World in 80 Days

Breakfast at Tiffany's


The Way We Were

You Do Something to Me



A Foggy Day



Arrivederci Roma

Theme from Moulin Rouge II

Stardust - Big Band



Rhapsody in Blue

Sleepy Lagoon

My Foolish Heart

Lisbon Antigua

La Mer

April in Portugal

Because of You

Poor People of Paris

Unchained Melody

Stranger on the Shore


Maple Leaf Rag

Voices of Spring

Emperor Waltz

Radetzky March

Water Music (Excerpt) George Frideric Handel

Finale - William Tell Overture

Overture - My Fair Lady

The Rain in Spain

The Lonely Bull - Herb Alpert

Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert

The Happy Whistler

So Rare

Mona Lisa

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Walk, Don't Run

Wonderland by Night

Canadian Sunset

Blue Tango

The Happy Wanderer

Down Yonder

Midnight in Moscow

Crazy Medley


That's for Me

Quiet Village

Harbor Lights

Dueling Banjoes II

Autumn Leaves

My Foolish Heart

Don't Know Much






Close To You

Rainy Days & Mondays

Sing A Song

Yesterday Once More

We've Only Just Begun

Goodbye To Love

Only You

As Time Goes By

As Time Goes By II

As Time Goes By - Original

After Loving

San Francisco

Stranger In Paradise

Mrs. Howdy

Rags To Riches

The Good Life

Hello Dolly

All Of Me

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

Beyond The Sea

Everybody Loves

Return To Me

That's Amore

Autumn Leaves

Love Me With All Your Heart

If I Give My Heart To You

Autumn Leaves II

Autumn Leaves III

See The USA

My Prayer

You Always Hurt

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Love Me Tender

Its Now Or Never

Old Shep

Dont Be Cruel

When I Fall In Love

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When I Fall In Love III

A Fool Such As I

You'll Never Know


I'm Yours

Wish You Were Here

Lady Of Spain


It's Magic

Secret Love

This Magic Moment

My Prayer

Twilight Time

Great Pretender

Harbor Lights

Little Darlin'


No Other Love

Magic Moments

Till The End Of Time

Dont Let The Stars

Overture - Barber of Seville

Back In The Saddle

You Always Hurt

When I Fall

When A Man

True Love



In The Mood

A Taste Of Honey

The Lonely Bull

Lollipops And Roses

This Guys In Love With You

What Now My Love

Three Coins In The Fountain

You've Gotta Have Heart


Stranger In Paradise II

Love Is...


Georgia On My Mind

Sentimental Over You

Thanks For The Memories

Too Young


Never On Sunday

Yellow Rose Of Texas


My Little Corner

Speak Low

Moments To Remember


Be My Love

Embassy Waltz


A Certain Smile

Chances Are

Not For Me To Say

Stranger On The Shore

I'll Be Seeing You

Cherry Pink


Moonlight Serenade

Last Date

Naughty Lady

Til I Kissed You

All I Have To Do Is Dream

Dixie Land Band

Ghost Riders In The Sky

The Happy Wanderer


Santa Catalina

Band Of Gold

Auld Lang Syne

The Wayward Wind

P.S. I Love You

Harbor Lights

Ebb Tide

Lime Light

Green Door

My Heart Cries

Down Yonder

Silvana Mangano Anna

Does Your Chewing Gum?

Grand Night For Singing

Purple People Eater

Orange Blossom Special

I'll Get By

'Til Then

Katie At UNC

Love Letters

As Time Goes By

Cheek To Cheek

Mission Impossible

The Way You Look Tonight


Glad To Be An American

Battle Hymn Of The Republic

How Great Thou Art

Have Thine Own Way

Beyond The Sunset

Amazing Grace

He's Got The Whole World

Peace In The Valley

How Great Thou Art II

Stars & Stripes Forever

Tennessee Waltz

Beverly Hillbillies Theme

El Paso

Happy Trails

Big John

Sixteen Tons

Which Doctor?

Wonderful! Wonderful!



The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Mr. Sandman

Bad Leroy

Only The Lonely


Magnificent 7

Magnificent 7 - II


I Walk The Line

God loves you so much that He died for you!!!


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Verse of the Day

* * * Four important things to KNOW: #1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned & fall short of the glory of God. #2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ (God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of Peace & Savior of the World). #3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone, anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in, relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven). #4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE. No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist, Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives) to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through) ME (no other name). *** This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - - (Rev. 3:20) {Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian - however they are great afterwards!!!} *** Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment), and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness, forever with God), and only a few find it.

D I S C L A I M E R If someone should ask if it's legal to download songs
found on various non-commercial sites, such as this one.

Well, I'm neither a lawyer nor a technician,
and I've begun to wonder if it was legal for
us to tape music off the radio back when
tape recorders first came into being.

And were we committing a crime when we recorded
a movie shown on TV with our VCRs? And was it
really legal to buy a dual-deck recorder for the
express purpose of duplicating cassettes?

My answer to all of the above is, "I don't know."

Nonetheless, here is a formal statement in
some kind of legalize that appears to apply
to this kind of file availability:

The songs on this site are copyrighted by their respective artists and are placed here
for evaluation purposes only. No profits or sales are made on this site from their use.

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