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The E.Newspaper By Dr. Howdy, Ph.D. A.P.E., N.U.T.
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Friday
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says. The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response, "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. the Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language...."
"Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
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Comments:
March 11, 1918 The first cases of "Spanish Influenza" were reported in the US in Fort Riley, Kansas. The disease's name derived from the large number of people who died in Spain from this strain of flu. The devastation worldwide was so great that up to 40 million people died in its wake.
See the speed with which influenza spread throughout the US: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/influenza/maps/index.html
Two Democrats were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and viciously beaten." he pleaded.
The two Democrats turned and walked away. One remarked to the other: "You know the person that did this really needs help."
I am Mr. Luis from Madagascar; I need your assistance if possible please. My father Dr. Rakotozafy was killed on his way to visit the family of the late president of Togo (Mr Gnassingbe Eyadema), who died of heart attack on the 5th of February 2005 on a good Saturday.
After the death of my father, my mother took us out of Madagascar to south Africa were I manage to enter a ship to Europe. I am seeking asylum now in Europe due to the fact I don't have relatives or friends in Europe to stay with before claiming our funds that made me move to Europe. I have informed the firm I am in Europe already for claims.
Due to this effect, I need your urgent responses to move the funds lodged in by my late father before his death to your country for private investments etc.
I am seeking for your trust to assist me move this funds into your country for private investments now, and I am assured in me that you are a trustworthy person that can not only assist me get the funds into your country alone, but also keep it safe for us until my family and I come over to your country and we shall make proper arrangements for good investments together, But if you already know a profitable business we can invest in please let me know also.
Amount deposited is (US$8.5million). We shall thank you after this funds has gotten into your country through your assistance with 20percent of the total money, this is what I am going to do. If you wish we can put it in writing also. All documents covering the funds are in our custody.
Please respond to me only on my personal Email: address: (t_____@netscape.net) an d the phone number below if you agree to assist me in this project.
Best regards. Email: address:(t_____@netscape.net) Mr. Luis
His obnoxious brother........................................Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ...................................................Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes...............................Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store..Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia.........................U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white.......Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois.......................................Chica Gogh His magician uncle.............................................Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin.............................................Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother.....Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach................Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt................................Tan Gogh The bird lover uncle...........................................Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst................................E Gogh The fruit loving cousin.......................................Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking...............Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew..................................Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco....................................Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van.Winnie Bay Gogh