We have -
Moved To:
http://professor-howdy.blogspot.com/

Welcome to the E-Mail Newspaper
featuring 'Thought & Humor'
by Howdy





===============




Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked
in front of McDonalds on Friday night in Chapel Hill*?
A: UNC Prom Night. * http://www.ci.chapel-hill.nc.us/



===============


Riddles:



1) It runs and runs but can never flee.
It is often watched, yet never sees.
When long it brings boredom,
When short it brings fear.
What is it?

2) A man gets out of jail and goes to a nearby hotel
where he leaves a considerable sum of money.
He then moves his car to another hotel where
he leaves a lesser sum of money. What is he
doing???


3) Here is the name of a dozen countries and regions,
all in scrambled form. How many of then can you recognize?

a) chain g) rumba
b) enemy h) unsad
c) erect i) analog
d) laity j) serial
e) plane k) sprucy
f) reign l) regalia



Answers are located:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
If you can't find the answers below:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/howdy_text_only/messages

===============



Color Cartoons located here:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/



===============


What tree is always unhappy?
The blue spruce.



===============




Read what you have time for below
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.


===============



Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!





===============








***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***WARNING***


If you do not receive an issue each week write me and let me know.
I would hate to lose you forever in the dangerous cyberspace world!!!
Write me:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com

Your Devoted Autumn Friend,

Howdy

P.S. Subscribe: Get your friends to join the fun by sending an e-mail to:

OSU_humor_club-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Archives:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/howdy_text_only/messages
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Better_n_Color/

(Please save this notice)



===============





Merry Christmas From You


AAFES Gift Certificates
http://www.aafes.com/docs/homefront.htm
The Army and Air Force Exchange Services is where
most servicemen and women do their shopping. You
can purchase gift certificates for those in Iraq and
those hospitalized.

Adopt a Platoon
http://www.adoptaplatoon.org/
Adopt a Platoon has several ongoing projects to ensure
that every soldier overseas does not walk away from mail
call empty-handed.

AnySoldier
http://www.anysoldier.us/index.cfm
Any Soldier is a non-profit organization that helps people
send care packages to members of the armed services in Iraq.


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}




===============



I was going shopping to buy a gift for my wife
and asked her for her sizes. "If it is clothes
it's small' "If it's diamonds, I wear Large"



===============






Identify These Christmas Tunes

1. Colorless Yuletide
2. Castaneous - colored Seed Vesticated in a Conflagration
3. Singular Yearning for Twin Anterior Incisors
4. Righteous Darkness
5. Arrival Time :2400 Hrs Weather: Cloudless
6. Loyal Followers Advance
7. Far off in a feeder
8. Array the Corridors
9. Bantam Male Percussionist
10. Monarchial Triad
11. Nocturnal Noiselessness
12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
13. Red Man en Route to Borough
14. Frozen Precipitation Commence
15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle
16 The Quadruped with the Vermillion Proboscis
17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendent
18. Delight for this Planet
19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals


Answer location: http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/





===============




Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation online,
'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....




===============



Petishun
~~~~~~~
We UNC* grads at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes
about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and
makes our roots turn grey. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to
the loyers at Chappel Hill. We will take this all the way to the supream
cort if we have two. Juj Smit knos all about hairassment and he will
be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this
pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell Vandy & FSU jokes as
much as UNC jokes and every so often Duke joke. If we don't
get our way we will not lik anybody that ain't a UNC grad and we will
make up jokes about you and we will laff.

Sined by the UNC grads at the ofise

________
*UNC is the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.
Specializing in a wide range of degree programs including:
B.A. A.H.F.(Advanced Hamburger Flipping), A.P.E., B.R.C.
(Bar Room Conversations), etc. Institution was founded in 1898
for sons/daughters of local Chapel Still politicians that were
unable to qualify for the more prestigious institutions of higher
learning such as Duke, Wake Forest, and N.C. State.

===============


Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Cartoons, humor & thought daily.



===============



A UNC professor with two badly burned ears went to the emergency
room for medical treatment.

"What happened" asked the doctor.

"Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ball game on TV,"
began the man.

"She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang,
I answered the iron."

The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?"

"Well, no sooner had I hung up," said the man, "when the same guy
called again."



===============






A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone's attention.
"Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?"

"What's he look like?", asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.

"Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper
waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants,
and a brown paper jacket."

"So what's he wanted for?" asks the same cowboy.

"Rustlin'."







===============


***TEST YOUR WORD KNOWLEDGE? ***

Match the words in the left-hand column with the correct
definition in the right-hand column. The answer key is
listed at the bottom of this newsletter.


1. idoneous A. Mechanical, utilitarian or routine
2. armigerous B. A beginner; novice
3. cecity C. Blindness
4. shirty D. An official order to commit someone to prison
5. banausic E. A theater or concert hall
6. mittimus F. Bearing or entitled to bear heraldic arms
7. philogyny G. Bad-tempered, irritable
8. crabwise H. Fondness of women
9. neophyte I. Appropriate, suitable
10. odeum J. Sideways


(answers below)


===============



Would you be more content with eight million dollars
or eight children? Eight children, certainly. Because
a man with eight million dollars will always want more.


===============


Why Am I Here: http://www.needhim.org/
===============


LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE:


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colours are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
13. On wh ich side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. What is on the back of a Canadian dime?
16. How many sides does a stop sign have?
17. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
18. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
19. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
20. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy,Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
21. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
22. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
23. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
24. On the back of a Canadian $1 coin, what is in the centre?
25. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
26. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
27. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

Answers: http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
(Tks: Jane)





===============



'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!



===============







Keep looking at the picture, and you'll see a giraffe .... honest!!



(Tks: Shirl)





===============



If you would like to write Howdy (he reads all of them),
send an amicable, meticulous, penurious or factious e-mail to:



Howdy's address: your-bestfriend4u@juno.com



Please tell us your general location (State, School, Country).
All letters sent to Howdy might be printed unless you
request otherwise. Letters marked "anonymous" may be
printed but without the name. Your e-mail address will not
be shown. Tell us what's happening in your locale!!!





Dear Howdy,
Please take me off of your mailing list. I no longer wish to be
subject to your opinion on everything from religion to politics. The
Constitution of the United States gives everyone the right to freedom
of religion and speech. However, this should not be obtained at a
cost to someone else. I understand that you have strong convictions
and beliefs. However, placing them in opposition to someone else's
convictions or beliefs is wrong. Your views are self-righteous and
pushy. I would like to be taken off this list. Thank you for your compliance.

Have a nice day. (NOT Merry Christmas)
B.M. (U.T.-Memphis)

+++

Howdy,

I CORINTHIANS 13 CHRISTMAS VERSION

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows,
strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do
not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of
Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and
arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime,
but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing
home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not
show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted
snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and
sing in the choir's cantata, but do not focus on Christ,
I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated
Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way,
but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give
in return but rejoices
in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost,
golf clubs will rust.

But giving the gift of love will endure.

Merry Christmas!
D. W. (NJ)


+++

Dear Howdy,

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!

Lisa
Staff Assistant
Employment Practices/Affirmative Action
University of Wyoming

+++

Dear Howdy,

I Am For Taking Christmas Back!

I don't know about you, but I am getting a little tired
of hearing about municipalities all over America trying
to shut down Christmas. "Put up some snowflakes,"
they say, and it's the same. No, it is not the same!
Christmas is about Christ. Sometimes I just feel like
taking Christmas back. Think of it: without our feast
of the Nativity, our worship of the first coming of
Jesus Christ, Gap and Best Buy and Radio Shack
would have a tough go of it. Try celebrating Winter
Solstice and see where that gets your sales receipts!
They know. You know. I know. There is a season
of joy because behind the after Thanksgiving sales
and Christmas tree farms and tinsel and foil
greeting cards, there is the Christ of Christmas.

I hear that one poll out this season (Newsweek,
I think) shows that more than 80% of Americans
believe that the Christ of Christmas is, in fact,
Almighty God. Now, why is it that if so many
Americans believe in Christ, we are still losing
Christmas? There are a number of responses
to that question. There are even more questions.
If so many believe in Him, why is His name
blasphemed so regularly on the public airwaves
of this country? Why, if so many believe He
is God, do our schools ban references to Jesus
Christ in public gatherings? Why has the weak
and meaningless "Happy Holidays" become
the standard greeting? Why have we rolled
over and allowed the world to steal Christmas
from us? The answer is that there is a gap—
a large gap—between what we believe
and who we are.

I am all for taking Christmas back. I don't
necessarily mean taking it back by moving
it to July 1. I think taking Christmas back
must begin by making sure that the Christ
of Christmas is the Christ of every season
of my life. That Christ is:

Lord of my heart,
my family,
my vocation,
my speech,
my thoughts,
my pocketbook,
my relations with the poor,
my relations with those of other faiths,
my personal commitment to the Great
Commission and supporting others who
carry it out.

In short, for Christians to take Christmas
back, we must put Christ first.

Dr. M.M.


+++

Hi Howdy,

Question for your astute readers . . . .

* Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
* How do I set my laser printer on stun?
* How is it possible to have a civil war?
* If all the world is a stage,
where IS the audience sitting?
* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
* If one synchronized swimmer drowns,
do the rest have to drown too?
* If the #2 pencil is the most popular,
why is it still #2?
* If the black box flight recorder is never damaged
during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane
made out of the stuff?

M. L.

+++

Dear Howdy,

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you
are good is like expecting the bull not to charge
because you are a vegetarian.

Dennis W.

+++

Dear Howdy,

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility,
there are so few of us left.

Oscar L.

+++


Dear Howdy,

I had given our daughter, who was 16 at the time, a drivers manual.
On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told
her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to
get her driver's permit.

"Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book."

"You do?" I returned.

"Yep", she said, very smugly.

I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her,
"How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are
driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes
real hard?"

"One," she replied.

"What?" I asked. "One?!"

She repeated her answer and then because of the confused
look on my face, she added, "One, Mom. You always told
me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right
one."

P.H.

+

Dear P.H.,

You certainly have a good candidate for a future
freshman class at UNC!!!

Howdy

+++

Hello Howdy,

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect.

My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a
stranger's voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will
you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside
screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"

Stephanie





Please note that our policy allows for us to receive threats
on alternate Tuesdays when the Moon is waning only...


===============





- Walt Disney -

Died December 15, 1966
Born December 5, 1901

Entertainment Magnate and Film Pioneer. Most remembered for
creating Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and a host of other
cartoon characters. He has won 32 Oscars, more than any
other person, for his extraordinary achievements in films.
In 1928, Walt created Mickey Mouse. His third Mickey
Mouse film, "Steamboat Willie," was the first cartoon
to use synchronized sound and became an overnight success.
Walt was the voice of Mickey for the first ten years of the
cartoon. In 1934, Disney pioneered the first full length
cartoon movie, "Snow White", and again, critics were over-
come by the sheer popular response of the public to the
movie. In 1950, he produced his first live-action film,
"Treasure Island," and in 1955, he opened his first theme
park, Disneyland. Prior to his death in 1966 in Los Angeles,
California, of lung cancer, he began work on his latest
theme park in Orlando, Florida: Walt Disney's World.
Forty years after Walt's death, the Disney empire
occasionally keeps to Walt's pro-family legacy.






===============


Check out YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!


===============






The flight attendants call them "white knuckle flyers." It's those
passengers who are scared of flying and they hang on for dear life.
Now, we've seen an occasional plane crash over the years, and it
makes some people nervous about airplanes. We also know that
the statistical probabilities of a person being in a plane crash, they're
really pretty low.

But fear doesn't always respond to statistics either. When you're on a train
you usually don't think much at all about a crash, but occasionally we do
hear about a train derailing, or an accident, or a collision. And the idea
of a train crash suddenly becomes front-page material. Of course, it's like
flying. The likelihood of a crash is minimal, but it still makes an impression
when you see on the news the aftermath of two trains colliding.

When they discuss those accidents, you hear one probable cause come
up quite often - engineer fatigue. Someone suggested that some engineers
run their shifts so close together that they don't have adequate time to rest.
So some accidents might be caused in part by someone literally being sleepy
or falling asleep on the job.

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from 1 Peter 5:8. It is an
important warning. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil
prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Resist
him." You've got a vicious spiritual enemy, a lion, who's looking for a
chance to devour you! It's interesting how God describes one way to stay
out of the lion's jaws. He says, "Be alert." In other words you've got to know
what's going on! Now that makes me think of those engineers who may make
mistakes, even fatal mistakes, just because they're tired. Running a light
they should never run - going faster than they should ever go.

You see, trying to keep running without adequate rest is asking for an
accident in your life. I'm convinced that the devil exploits fatigue to get
us to make mistakes we would never make any other way. When you're
exhausted, you tend to make bad judgments, to speak reckless words,
to hurt people, to be morally vulnerable. You're really tired so you cut corners,
you make compromises, you crank it out instead of following God's direction.
And seasons of exhaustion are usually seasons when your time with Jesus
and His book get pushed to the edge - which leads to spiritual coldness and
a very dangerous indifference.

When you run your shifts too close together without adequate rest, you are
literally giving the devil a foothold. You're giving him an unlocked door or
window through which the eternal thief can get into your feelings, into your
relationships, into your judgment, and God says, "Be alert." I'm convinced
that many a man or woman has ended up doing things they never dreamed
they would do because fatigue made them vulnerable. That's why it is a
spiritual responsibility to get that day off, to turn off the TV, or turn off the
lights in your office and get to bed - to go away for a break to get your
perspective back again. To plan for rest like you plan for work.

God set up the Sabbath principle to let us know that stopping to rest is
a commandment. It's part of our created order. Look, you're running full
throttle and you're tired. Whatever it takes, find a way to slow down and
get some rest. Too many great people have crashed just because they fell
asleep at the switch. Ron Hutchcraft



Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.

Listen with RealAudio!
http://www.gospelcom.net/rhm/sounds/awwy/awwy4343.ram

To subscribe to "A Word With You," send a blank email to:
awordwithyou-subscribe@hutchcraft.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------

To find out how you can begin a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, please call:

1-888-NEED HIM.



===============






Subject: TOP 10 THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.





===============




PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you
pick it up, even when you're six inches away.



===============






Join the jollity by sending an e-mail to:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
(Place "SUBSCRIBE" in the subject).
(Open To ALL - Even Your Roommate/mom/friend/professor)

You may subscribe ANY friend/family you wish to beguile/regale.
They will be sent a confirmation warning them that smiles are in their future.
(You may remain anonymous if you wish.)





===============



Oxymorons:

* wise fool
* only choice
* jumbo shrimp
* almost exactly
* same difference
* pretty ugly
* definite maybe
* original copy
* found missing




===============




1742: Faneuil Hall Opened to the Public

Faneuil Hall, financed by wealthy merchant Peter Faneuil
and designed by John Smibert, opened to the public in
Boston. The building, dubbed the "Cradle of Liberty"
for the revolutionary meetings that took place inside,
housed a food market area. The building burned
down in 1761, and Smibert designed a new building
that was expanded by Charles Bulfinch in 1805.

Images of Faneuil Hall:
http://www.faneuilhall.com/

{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}



===============

Howdy says: "FORWARD TO FRIENDS & YOUR MAMA!"
First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind - Humor From American Culture

===============



ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which
can only be seen in the rear-view mirror.



===============




This year's Christmas stamp features a masterpiece by
an Italian artist: Lorenzo Monaco. When you attach these
government-issued stamps to your Christmas cards, do
something that will annoy the ACLU: Use them to help
your unsaved friends understand what the painting really
communicates -- how it symbolizes an event that took
place two thousand years ago in a stable, with the birth
of a naked Baby, one who was truly God and truly human.
MORE: http://xrl.us/edab




===============




Q: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A hippopotamus with chapped lips.





===============




TRIVIA:

Executives work an average 57 hours a week, but just 22
percent say their hours are a major cause of stress.

***

Species of coffee trees can grow as tall as 32 feet and
their leaves can range in color from purple to yellow.
Green is the predominant color, however.

***


The king crab walks diagonally.

???

Needle

The hypodermic needle was invented in 1853. It was initially
used for giving injections of morphine as a painkiller.
Physicians mistakenly believed that morphine would not be
addictive if it by-passed the digestive tract.

***

Cities

In 1970, only 5 percent of the American population lived in
cities.

***

Take a little off the sides

In olden days, barbers also performed as surgeons. Blood-
letting, a remedy of the time believed to cure diseases, was
one of their main tasks. The red-and-white striped barber
pole originally symbolized a bleeding arm swathed in bandages.





===============



'T & H' International Headquarters:

http://www.merton.ox.ac.uk/images/1_02.jpg



===============





Faith and love are apt to be spasmodic in the best of minds.
Men and women live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies
into which they never enter and with their hand on the doorlatch
they die outside. GK Chesterton



===============





It's that little stress box on the front of most newspapers this time of
year - the number of shopping days left before Christmas. The days are
counting down until it's too late.

The greatest danger in life is waiting too long, not to buy a gift, but to
take the gift that's already been purchased for you - the gift Jesus came
at Christmas to make possible - as the Bible says, "The gift of God is
eternal life" (Romans 6:23). A lot of folks think heaven's something you
earn by being good and religious. But the Bible says it's "not by works"
(Ephesians 2:9).

We could never pay the death penalty for our sins by doing good. It took
Jesus dying in our place to pay for our sin. And today He's offering you
this incredible gift He paid for with His life. But if you keep shopping
around for answers, for love, for peace, you'll miss the only One who's got
it all - if you give yourself to Him - something we'd love to help you do
if you'll call us at 1-888-NEED-HIM. It's time to stop shopping and take
what Jesus died to give you - before there are no days left.

Listen with RealAudio!
http://xrl.us/edid




===============





Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:

1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring
to NCSU, JSU, MSU, USC, UGA, or FSU.







===============




Lesbians Raising Sons--Got a Problem with That?

The prophets of political correctness now tell us that
diversity is the order of the day, and that "diverse forms
of family" are to be greeted with enthusiasm. Those
who insist that marriage is the union of a man and
a woman and that parenthood should flow from that
union are now dismissed as intolerant, closed-minded
extremists. Even in the face of such intimidation,
a quick look at Lesbians Raising Sons should be
sufficient to help the vast majority of Americans
know who the real extremists are.

Join the discussion - Read this:
http://xrl.us/edi4
http://xrl.us/ebm4
(Click on Dec. 14 calender on left)

Write Howdy your thoughts:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com








===============




Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because they would be bagels.





===============



"But when a young lady is to be a heroine,
the perverseness of forty surrounding families
cannot prevent her. Something must and will
happen to throw a hero in her way."
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Northanger Abbey




===============


Bookmark YOUR NEW Blog:
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/
Updated frequently!!!
Cartoons, humor & thought daily.



===============




Heaven Pierced The Darkness Sending Jesus Christ

On a long ago day...in a faraway city
a Baby was born in the hay.
And heaven pierced the darkness sending Jesus Christ
to be salvation and our only way.
From His humble beginnings our Savior grew
revealing His righteousness among mortal man.
This Child was born with one purpose to be
God's redemption and salvation's plan.
Forgiveness & restoration....mercy & hope
are now possible by God's gift of grace.
The atonement mankind needs for the sin in our hearts
is now available in only one place.
Jesus is the Messiah the prophets all spoke of
for He was bruised and battered for sin.
Yet He conquered death by His glorious resurrection
and all hope of new life is in Him.
He's been building a kingdom of believers who love Him
and adore Him as the Lord of their souls.
For the Spirit of God indwells them each day
and His presence is what makes them whole.
The doorway to God...and eternal life
is by this King and it's His kingdom to come.
For the Baby in the manger was the Savior of the world
...and God's gift was His very own Son.

Sheila Gosney

And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as
Savior of the world. 1 John 4:14

Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised
for our iniquities;
The chastisement of our peace was upon Him.
And by His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way.
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 53:4-6




===============



Howdy's driveway

http://i1img.com/images/today/user/092200user_lg.jpg




===============






Depressed, Troubled, Worried???
Big Problems???
Want to talk with a LIVE trained counselor???
Want to get REAL help???
(FREE - English/Spanish)

1-800-633-3446

http://www.needhim.org

{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}




===============




A radio telescope is a highly directional radio antenna that is able
to create a map of the sky by recording signals coming from different
directions. Although radio engineer Karl Jansky was the first to
identify deep space radio signals in 1931, his antenna was not good
at pinpointing individual sources.

The first steerable radio telescope was built in 1937 by Grote Reber,
who had applied to work with Jansky but was turned down because
of the poor economic times. So he decided to build his own radio
telescope, a 31.4-foot metal dish (9.6 meters) mounted on a
directional cradle in Wheaton, Illinois.

With his radio telescope, Reber was able to detect radio emissions
from the Sun, the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, and several
other "radio-bright" sources. By 1941, he had completed the first
crude radio survey of the northern sky. Today his radio telescope
is an historical monument in Green Bank, West Virginia.

Grote Reber and his radio telescope:
http://xrl.us/eeju
All about natural radio signals:
http://www.altair.org/natradio.htm


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}




===============







Ever since the November elections, we've been hearing
a lot of talk about the "values voters" who made such an
impact. There are many in this country who believe that
"values voters" are people to fear -- that we just want to
suppress everyone else's point of view.

If you know someone who feels that way, I have a suggestion
for you. Give that person a copy of Professor Allen Hertzke's
new book, FREEING GOD'S CHILDREN: THE UNLIKELY
ALLIANCE FOR GLOBAL HUMAN RIGHTS. And while
you're at it, get a copy for yourself, because this is one book
every Christian ought to read. No other recent book that I
know of has explained so well how the expression of
Christian views in the public square actually benefits the
public good.

Hertzke explores how religious persecution -- an issue that
for years was largely ignored -- has suddenly come to the
forefront. He cites the Church's role behind the Iron Curtain,
a renewed emphasis on human rights, and the emergence of
a strong, active evangelical network as the reasons for why
this has happened. Hertzke gives a detailed account of efforts
by Christians to advance the cause of human rights. He goes
so far as to write, "One cannot understand international relations
today without comprehending the new faith-based movement --
a bold assertion but one that will be borne out in the coming years."

Hertzke, who is on the faculty of the University of Oklahoma,
writes from behind the scenes. Over the last several years, he
has sat in meetings, attended events, and interviewed activists.
He gives a thrilling first-hand account of the campaign to stop
slavery in the Sudan -- yes, as BreakPoint listeners know,
slavery has continued into the twenty-first century. But through
the Wilberforce Forum, which he writes about, and other groups,
pressure was brought to bring it to an end. Similarly, evangelical
groups were behind the campaign to start bringing help to AIDS
victims in Africa, something even the NEW YORK TIMES
noted this past year. He talks further about how Christians,
working with a Jewish lawyer, a former editor of the NEW
YORK TIMES, and an odd alliance of conservatives and
liberals, organized a campaign to stop sexual trafficking
worldwide -- one of the great abominations of modern times.

He focuses as well on the behind-the-scenes work of Christian
groups to bring pressure on repressive governments like North
Korea, which is brutally persecuting believers today. And he
discusses how the new Christian movement is providing
relief to believers and getting asylum to persecuted Christians --
and much, much more. >>> http://xrl.us/eewr






===============





Examining Our Laughter


“Laughter,” writes my colleague, Mark Eckel, “is an indication
of ethics. Watching a Jay Leno monologue,” he continues, “forces us to laugh
at the ethical lapses in peoples’ attitudes and actions.” But, he suggests,
we need to monitor our laughter. There may just be, in his words, “a guide
for Christians to explain when laughter is ethically appropriate and when it
is not.”1

Everyone who has attended a movie theater has probably had the
experience of listening to a part of the audience laugh at incidents in the
movie which are not funny, things like violence to a particular individual
or cruelty to an animal. Such laughter leaves one chilled. And it is an
indication of our society that such laughter is growing more frequent. But,
before we look to the culture at large, it is much more important to analyze
ruthlessly just what we are laughing at, particularly on television and in
our private conversations with our friends.

Eckel, quoted earlier, compares the potential difference in our
laughter at two television sitcoms: The Simpsons, a much-written about
sitcom among Christians because of its witty but ironic portrayal of, in
Eckel’s words, “the dark side of human nature,” and Will and Grace, a
program that seeks to make the homosexual lifestyle and all sexually active
characters benign and, therefore, acceptable. In The Simpsons, Eckel notes,
“the inconsistencies and hypocrisies of all groups and individuals in
American culture are pointed out… using sardonic wit… to mirror
shortcomings, creating a climate for change” through the viewer’s “distress
and unease [at] seeing wrongdoing in both attitude and action.” In contrast,
Will and Grace promotes the acceptance of its characters and their
lifestyles through “self-deprecating” laughter that “cuts off the rough
edges and softens [the viewer’s] attitudes” by making the characters
endearing and “excluding the consequences of [their] behavior.” 2

This is very wise analysis, one we must take seriously. T. S.
Eliot said long ago that what entertains us, what we laugh at, may just
affect us more than what we study or labor over because our spirits and
minds are relaxed and receptive. We have turned our mental security systems
off and what amuses may seem somehow too trivial to harm us. There is no
part of our lives that does not, however, belong to God. We must never
bypass our intellects or suspend our critical thinking ability even in our
laughter. Laughter has the power, as in The Simpsons, to be a cultural
commentary that brings understanding and conviction, and it has the power,
as in Will and Grace, to seduce and soothe one into indifference to
dangerous secular trends.

The question is crucial: What are we laughing at and why?
Dr.Rosalie de Rosset.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Mark Eckel,. Associate Professor of Educational Ministries, Moody Bible
Institute. “Laugh Once, Not Twice.” Unpublished Commentary. December 2004.

2 Ibid.









===============






Jones jumped up from the card table white with rage.
"Stop this game," he shouted, "Smith is cheating!"

"How do you know?"

"He's not playing the hand I dealt him."






===============






I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months -
I don't like to interrupt her.


===============







The season of Advent is the cry of anticipation. "Come, Thou long expected
Jesus, Born to set Thy people free; From our fears and sins release us; Let
us find our rest in Thee." It is the prayer of longing. "O Come, O come,
Emmanuel, And ransom captive Israel, That mourns in lonely exile here.
Until the Son of God appear." It is the declaration of the weight of
certainty in the midst of uncertain times.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes, "So we
do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner
nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction
is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as
we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.
For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen
are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:16).

Paul presents us with a string of contrasts. He has set side-by-side
outer nature and inner nature, the momentary with the eternal, the light
with the weighty, things present with things to come, affliction with
glory. In fact, to the Corinthian culture, which was more convinced by
status and stature than suffering and service, Paul's entire life was a
startling contrast. He preached victory in Christ and quite seemingly
lived in defeat. In another chapter of his letter, Paul describes the
suffering he has endured for the sake of the gospel through flogging,
lashes, beatings, and being stoned; he has been imprisoned, ship wrecked,
hungry and naked, and left to die. No doubt, his catalogue of "light
afflictions" far outweighs our own experience, as it did the Corinthians.
But does this not, then, give even greater weight to his words?

Furthermore, as one commentary points out, Paul uses the same image
of 'weight' to describe God's glory as he used earlier to describe being
'weighed down' by his suffering. The parallel is significant. "Just as
Paul has grown to trust God to sustain him under the 'weight' of his
afflictions, so too Paul has come to see that the 'weight' of his glory
far surpasses that of his afflictions. 'The affliction which once felt
like a lethal weight round his neck now seems weightless in comparison
to his eternal load of glory.'" (1)

In word and in deed, Paul emphatically declares that in our longing for,
and expectation of, the fulfillment of God's promises we must fix our eyes
on what is yet unseen. Our certainty of Christ in the world to come must
not be contingent upon our circumstances in this one. For our momentary
experiences and afflictions, even in overwhelming excess, are empty and
weightless beside the eternal weight of glory, the inexpressible magnitude
of the grace of God, the light of the gospel, the life of Christ, the
certainty of the unseen.

I am reminded of that magnificent scene in Buyan's Pilgrims Progress where
Christian comes into the house of the Interpreter and is shown a perplexing
sight. He watches a fire that seems to burn continually brighter and
hotter under strange circumstances. Beside the increasingly glowing fire
stands someone continually casting water on the flames to put it out.
Christian is baffled, until his host leads him behind a wall, where they
find another agent at work, pouring secretly and continually, oil into the
fire.

Let us expectantly keep in mind this Advent season the God who in his
surpassing mercy is continually at work. He spoke forth his Word in
history through mighty acts and fragile lives. He gently reached into the
world with the quiet arrival of an infant king. He grievously crossed the
threshold of our corrupted hearts with the Cross. And we are renewed day
by day with the eternal weight of glory, the certainty of things unseen,
indeed, the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of
Jesus Christ. Jill Carattini


(1) Scott Hafemann, NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids: Zondervan,
2000) 190.


To subscribe to above , send blank e-mail with the subject 'Subscribe':
slice-subscribe@lists.gospelcom.net


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.


===============







A woman went into a hardware store to purchase
a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check
in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you
will want some identification."

He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that
won't be necessary."

"How come?" asked the woman.

"Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.





===============







With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand
why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.

I mean, everyone knows that the heart of Rock 'n' Roll
is the beet.







===============





"A Washington state supreme court has ruled it's illegal
for a parent to eavesdrop on their children's phone con-
versations without their consent. So the state is telling
parents they can't listen to "their" kids on the phone
they pay for. And of course, once the kid commits a crime,
who does the state blame? The parents." --Jay Leno





===============



"I cannot think well of a man who sports with
any woman's feelings; and there may often
be a great deal more suffered than a stander-by
can judge of." Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), Mansfield Park



===============







Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit,
our best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice,
or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions
of others, or their choice not to practice religious
or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2005, but not without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make
America great (not to imply that America
is necessarily greater than any other country
or is the only "AMERICA" in the Western
Hemisphere), and without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith,
or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting
these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification
or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with
no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement
any of the wishes for her/himself or others,
and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for
a period of one year, or until the issuance of
a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and warranty is limited to replacement
of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.

Happy Holidays!
Adkins, Holliday, Miller & Martin, Attys.






===============





A soldier who had just returned from Iraq had plans
of becoming a greens keeper once he was discharged
in a few months.

He applied to a local college for its 'golf course super-
intendent program', but the department chair worried
that he might not be up for the job.

"It's awfully stressful," he said. "You have to fight the
weather, insects, and demanding club members."

"Will anyone be shooting at me while I mow the grass?"
asked the soldier.

"Of course not!" came the reply.

"I'll take the job!"





===============



I am trying here to prevent anyone from saying the really
foolish thing that people often say about Him [Jesus Christ]:
"I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I
don't accept His claim to be God."

That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was
merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would
not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic --
on a level with a man who says he is a poached egg --
or else he would be the Devil of Hell.

You must make your choice. Either this Man was, and is,
the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse ....
You can shut Him up for fool, you can spit at Him and kill
Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him
Lord and God. But let us not come up with any patronizing
nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has
not left that option open to us. He did not intend to.

-- From Case for Christianity, by C.S. Lewis




===============







What "Adults Only" Should Mean


You see it—or some variation of it—on television screens, in advertisements,
and on the labels of recorded music. The wording goes something like this:
“Adult content” or “Contains adult language” or “Mature audience only.” But
few people ever stop to think what this means. Just a couple of weeks ago,
The Chicago Tribune reported that this season’s blockbuster video games
give players the opportunity to hijack cars, mow down the walking undead with
heavy artillery and ogle topless women. The article quoted Rockstar Games,
maker of the vicious “Grand Theft Auto” series, defending themselves by
saying, “We strongly support efforts to keep games intended for an adult
audience from children.”1

There’s that word again, “adult.” Bob Greene analyzed the issue
some time ago in a marvelous article called “Adults Only.” “Adult content
usually means that they are shown attacking each other with guns, hatchets,
and blow torches; that half-naked people are assaulting other people,
ripping their clothes off, treating humans like garbage; that people are
detonating other people’s cars and houses, setting fire to property,
bludgeoning and disemboweling and pumping holes into one another….
That’s how adults behave. Adult language,” by modern definition, he continues,
“contains the foulest synonyms for excrement, for sexual activity, for
decadent conduct. Adult language usually consists of four letters: adult
language is the kind of language that civilized people are never supposed to
use.”2

Ironically, Webster’s defines adult as “fully developed and
mature.” Yet, no one would ever think of labeling a civilized conversation
using eloquent language and manifesting gracious behavior between two adults
as adult in the sense of warning. And no one would even begin to protect a
child from the being in the presence of such graceful behavior and
interchange.

Curiously, as Greene continues, “ours is becoming a society
in which the best ideals of childhood—innocence, kindness, lack of
spitefulness, rejection of violence are qualities toward which adults ought
to strive. A paradoxical society in which the things labeled ‘adult’—lack of
restraint [and conscience], mayhem, vulgarity, raw and cynical carnality—
are the things that children should be warned against growing up to embrace.”3

It’s no wonder Scripture tells us that “a little child shall
lead them.” It’s no wonder that Christ urged the children to come to Him
because of such was the kingdom of Heaven. That is the Christian ideal:
to put away the foolishness of childhood while retaining its wonderful
innocence, an innocence that understands evil while refusing to be infected
by it, an innocence that offers hope. Dr. Rosalie de Rosset

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Homans, Charles. “High-profile video games….” Chicago Tribune. 24 November
2004, Section 1:16.

2 Greene, Bob. “Adults Only.”

3 Ibid.





===============






Why The U.S.A. Is At War:

http://attacked911.tripod.com/
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/lists/by-name/


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}





===============







For printer-friendly version of 'T&H', visit:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Howdy_Text_Only/messages










===============






WASHINGTON, DC - The highly anticipated sequel to last year's holiday
blockbuster video "Barney Cam" will be unveiled Friday at 11:00 A.M. by
Laura Bush at the Children's National Medical Center

"Barney Cam II: Barney Reloaded" will then be available exclusively on the
White House web site - www.whitehouse.gov or: http://xrl.us/eeya

The original "Barney Cam" was released last December and featured Barney,
the President's Scottish Terrier, touring the White House to provide viewers
with a dog's eye view of the holiday decorations.

Realizing that sequels are often fraught with peril, the producers of Barney
Cam secured starring roles from the President, the First Lady, many senior
White House officials and a yet-to-be-named surprise cameo appearance.

Sources close to Barney say that Barney Cam II: Barney Reloaded has a
"more complicated plot" and is "rich with drama and humor."






===============



There is sort of a backlash against political
correctness in food. One Hardee's customer
said the Monster Thickburger piqued his interest
because it flew in the face of recent trends toward
healthier food. http://xrl.us/ed4o



===============








A UNC student's English prof paid a visit to his
house one day. When the student opened the door,
she asked "Are your father and mother in, Mr. Morton?"

"They was in, but they is out." he answered.

The UNC English prof. gasped, "Why, Mr. Morton,
it is 'They were in, they are out.' Where's your grammar?"

"She's upstairs taking her nap."






===============








Please note: If you see a UNC student or liberal reading 'Thought & Humor',
please explain to them which is thought & which is humor. They usually get it backwards.......









===============




Pop Pop Quiz

You are allowed to use members of your immediate household.
Answers located at this blog after you've sent your answers to
all on this list (no cheating - Howdy & Santa are watching):
http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/

1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and
rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens
would ask, "Who was that masked man?"
Invariably,.someone would answer, "I don't
know, but he left this behind." What did he
leave behind?_______________________.

2. When the Beatles first came to the U.S.
in early 1964, we all watched them on the,
______________________show.

3. Get your kicks, _______________.

4. The story you are about to see is true.
The names have been changed
___________________________.

5. In the jungle, the mighty jungle,
the _________________________.

6. After the twist, the mashed potatoes,
and the watusi, we "danced" under a
stick that was lowered as low as we
could go in a dance called the
_________________________.

7. N_E_S_T_L_E_S, Nestle's makes the
very best, _______________.

8. Satchmo was America's "ambassador
of goodwill." Our parents shared. this great
jazz trumpet player with us. His name
was,____________________.

9. What takes a licking and keeps on
ticking?__________________.

10. Red Skeltons hobo character was
________________________. and he
always ended his television show by saying,
"Good night and
_________________________________."

11. Some bad Americans who protested the
Vietnam war did so by burning their
________________________. _________

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back
and the trunk in the front, was called the VW.
What other names did it go by

_________________&_______________

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song
about,"the day the music . died." This was a tribute
to
___________________________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed
into orbit. The Russians . did it; it was called
_____________________ .

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's
was a large plastic ring that we twirled around
our waist; it was called the
________________________________.




===============





Who is Jesus?
http://www.ccci.org/wij/


{Double click this link or copy and paste this link into your Web Browser's address line
for more info - Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor' in any way - but should be}




===============




A housewife in Tibet smelled something burning in
the kitchen. When she rushed in and saw smoke pouring
out of the oven she cried out, "Oh, my baking yak!"




===============



Abortion hurts women both physically and mentally.
http://xrl.us/edp8


===============




Pay close attention to what you are reading and saying!

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.





===============





The first Christmas tree lights are credited to Martin Luther.
One winter night while walking home through the forest,
Luther grew fearful of the dark and of meeting a wild animal.
When he looked through the trees, however, and saw the
twinkling stars offering him light and direction, he was greatly
comforted. When he got home, he tried to describe to his
family the beauty of the stars through the trees, but found
words could not do justice to the scene. He then brought
in a fir tree, which he decorated with candles to portray
the lovely stars, the light that God had provided.

When Queen Victoria was 13, she wrote about the Christmas
trees decorated with lights and sugar ornaments, a tradition
which the German aristocracy had brought to the English
royalty. Victoria later married the German Prince Albert
of Saxe-Coburn, who loved the German tradition of the
Christmas tree. Victoria was very popular with the British
people and had a great influence on styles and public opinion.
When an illustration of Albert and Victoria with their children
around a Christmas tree was published in The Illustrated
London News in 1848, many British families were soon
decorating trees in their homes at Christmas.

The traditions of the Christmas tree soon spread to
other parts of Europe and to America and many
other areas of the world. Many have combined the
manger scene with the tree, while in some areas of
the world, the manger scene is preferred by itself.
Whichever traditions your family chooses to observe,
do so in honor of God Almighty, who gave His
Son to the earth as a little baby, to one day die
on another tree for the sins of all mankind.
http://www.khouse.org/




===============





[An angel of the Lord said,] "Today in the town of David a
Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord. This will
be a sign to you: You will find a Baby wrapped in cloths and
lying in a manger." Suddenly a great company of the heavenly
host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory
to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His
favor rests." --Luke 2:11-14




===============





OBSCURE AND UNUSUAL WORDS
*************************

1) sansculotte sanz-kyoo-LOT (noun)
: an extreme radical republican during the French Revolution.
: any revolutionary with extremist views.

From French, literally, without knee breeches. In the
French Revolution, this was the aristocrats' term of
contempt for the ill-clad volunteers of the Revolutionary
army who rejected knee breeches as a symbol of the upper
class and adopted pantaloons. As often happens with such
epithets, the revolutionaries themselves adopted it as a
term of pride.

"Figaro for example is too delicate to bear the weight
of a 'concept,' especially if it encourages the producer
to illustrate the corruption of the period or to repre-
sent the hero as a sansculotte manque who knows
that his master's days are numbered."
--Jonathan Miller; Doing Opera; The New York Review of
Books; May 11, 2000.

2) scry skry (intransitive verb)
: to predict the future by crystal-gazing

Shortening of descry (discover), from Middle English
descrien, from Old French descrier (to call or cry out),
from dis- + crier (to cry out).

"Also, the Reserve Bank will release its quarterly
Statement on Monetary Policy, which the market will
scry for clues on the timing of possible rate rises."
--Stocks' 10th Day of Gold; The Daily Telegraph (Sydney,
Australia); Nov 8, 2004.







===============




Dear Howdy,

Thank you for your simply addicting newsletter...it's truly a candidate
for the 8th wonder of the world and 1st candidate for the cyber-world...
it just keeps blooming with more of what I need and, I think, what we
all need...please keep up the great works!!!

Type atcha later...

God bless you,

Phil H
WI


===============





Board of Advisors for 'Thought & Humor':

Did you know that 'Thought & Humor' has a distinguished Board of Advisors
that are designed to be a cross section demographically of our readership as far
as age, location, gender, marital status, education & occupation are concerned???

Bill - 50's - FL - Computer Operator for 911 System, V.P. - Archives
Brenda - 50's - TX - University Administor, Married
Caroline - 20's - FL - Married, University Student
David - 50's - NJ - Businessman, Married
Doug - 50's - TN - President of 501(c)(3) Corp, Married
Ellen - 20's - NJ - University Student
Emily - 30's - TN - Banker, Married
Janet - 40's - MI - Married, Former Missionary to Arab Country
Jill - 50's - MN - Restaurant Owner, Married
Jim - 40's - NM - Businessman, Married
John - 50's - Peru - Pastor, Married
Katie - 20's - NC - Teacher, Married to UNC Med Student
Laura - 30's - NY - English Teacher
Lisa - 40's - TN - Secretary, Married
Marie - 60's - South Africa - Entrepreneur, Politician
Mamie - 20's - GA - Elementary Teacher
Milton - 19 - GA - College Student
Phil - 50's WI - Handicapped
Rob - 20's - NY - University Administor, Married
Ruth - 50's - CA - Real Estate, Involved in Spanish Ministry
Sarah - 20's - NC - UNC Student, Married
Shirl - 60's - CO - Finance Manager - Married to Minister
Steve - 40's - TX - Married, Computer Hardware Design
Wanda - 40's - Asia - Married - Communist Country

Advisory meetings are held weekly via the internet
and none receive monetary/pecuniary compensation
for their extensive/capacious/voluminous expertise.


===============




[Jesus said,] "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,and I will give you rest." --Matthew 11:28




===============


Bible - God's Word to you in different languages...

http://www.scriptures.com/

(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')




===============





For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince ofPeace. --Isaiah 9:6



===============




Secular Shortfalls:
Faith and Suffering

One of the best tests of a worldview is how well it stands up to the challenges
of real life. When tragedy strikes, does your belief system meet the
challenge -- or does it let you down? Christian psychologist Paul Vitz says that
how Christians handle suffering can reveal the truth of Scripture -- and expose
the shortfalls of the secular worldview.

Vitz is the author of a book called PSYCHOLOGY AS RELIGION: THE CULT OF SELF-
WORSHIP. Modern psychology, he says, is deeply committed to narcissism, egoism,
and worship of the self -- a phenomenon he labels "selfism." This commitment has
turned psychology into religion -- a form of secular humanism based on the
rejection of God in favor of self-worship.

Selfist theories assume that self-gratification is the only ethical principle.
The idea is to "actualize" ourselves through creativity and self-absorbed focus
on our own needs and desires. But selfist philosophy falls apart when its
followers begin to undergo suffering. And that's where we find one of the
starkest contrasts between Christianity and selfism.

Christians, you see, acknowledge the reality of evil, with all of its attendant
agony, heartbreak, and death. But Christians also believe that when we commit
ourselves in obedience to Christ, suffering can actually bring us into a closer
relationship with Him. This view, Vitz says, is "at the very heart of
Christianity, as represented by the passion of the cross followed by the joy of
Easter."

By contrast, "selfist philosophy trivializes life by claiming that suffering"
and death lack intrinsic meaning. Suffering, Vitz writes, is treated "as some
sort of absurdity, usually a man-made mistake that could have been avoided
by the use of knowledge to gain control of the environment."

This view seems plausible enough when life is going well -- but it becomes less
and less convincing when people begin to suffer sickness or loss. After all,
what do you say to the man who discovers, at age forty, that he's dying of
cancer? What do you tell a middle-aged woman who will never have the children
she so desperately wants? What do you say to the couple whose only child was
killed by a drunk driver?

As Vitz puts it, "Does one say, 'Go actualize yourself in creative activity'?
For people in those circumstances, such advice is not just irrelevant, it is an
insult."

Selfist-humanism begins optimistically enough, but it ends in misery.
Christianity, on the other hand, offers understanding of the human condition
that accounts for the reality of suffering -- and holds the promise that
suffering is ultimately redeemed.

You can read more examples of the clash of the secular and Christian worldviews
in the new HOW NOW SHALL WE LIVE? DEVOTIONAL -- the only worldview devotional
currently available.

Psychology as religion has wreaked havoc on our culture, with its facile
justification of divorce, promiscuity, and our fanatical focus on self-
fulfillment. As our neighbors discover the shallowness of a life lived for
personal glory, Christians must be ready to lovingly offer the true source
of life filled with meaning.

And that begins by focusing, not on ourselves, but on the God who sent His only
Son to suffer and die so that we might be forgiven and live in peace with Him.


"BreakPoint with Chuck Colson" is a daily commentary
on news and trends from a Christian perspective.
Heard on more than 1000 radio outlets nationwide,
BreakPoint transcripts are also available on the Internet.

BreakPoint is a production of The Wilberforce Forum,
a division of Prison Fellowship Ministries.

Chairman: Charles W. Colson
Dean: Nigel M. de S. Cameron, Ph.D.
Managing Editor: Jim Tonkowich, D.Min.
Senior Writer: Anne Morse
Associate Editor: Roberto Rivera
Associate Producer: Teresa Woodward
Wilberforce New Media Editor: Gina Dalfonzo
List Maintainer: Larry Wilson


As you read the Scriptures with your family, I hope
you'll have a new appreciation for who the "Word made
flesh" really is: He's the Creator who existed before time.
He's the Logos Who made heaven and earth, and Who
steers the stars in their courses. He is the Truth that is
ultimate reality. He is the 'Babe of Bethlehem & the
'Word' of John 1. If you know of others who would
enjoy receiving BreakPoint in their E-mail box each
day, tell them they can sign up 1-877-3-CALLBP
or http://www.breakpoint.org
(Not amalgamated with 'Thought & Humor')


Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.


===============


Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on
strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the
doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist
over there to read the picket signs!



===============




"The Bible has been the Magna Charta of the poor and oppressed.
The human race is not in a position to dispense with it." - Thomas
Huxley (Author & Scientist)

"The whole hope of human progress is suspended on the ever
growing influence of the Bible." - W.H. Seward (Secretary of State)

We must seek revival of our strength in the spiritual foundations
which are the bedrock of our republic. Democracy is the outgrowth
of the religious conviction of the sacredness of every human life.
On the religious side, its highest enlightenment is the Bible; on the
political side, the Constitution. --President Herbert Hoover

For Christians, the life and death of Jesus are the ultimate
expressions of love, and the supreme demonstrations of
God's mercy, faithfulness, and redemption. Since Christ's
miraculous Resurrection on Easter, more than 2,000 years
ago, Christians have expressed joy and gratitude for this
wondrous sacrifice and for God's promise of freedom for
the oppressed, healing for the brokenhearted, and salvation.
--President George W. Bush

Our deep and heartfelt gratitude is due to that Almighty Power
which has bestowed upon us such varied and numerous blessings
throughout the past year. The general health of the country has
been excellent, our harvests have been unusually plentiful, and
prosperity smiles throughout the land. Indeed, notwithstanding
our demerits, we have much reason to believe from the past
events in our history that we have enjoyed the special protection
of Divine Providence... --President James Buchannan

Without the assistance of the Divine Being... I cannot succeed.
With that assistance I cannot fail. Trusting in Him who can go
with me, and remain with you, and be everywhere for good,
let us confidently hope that all will yet be well. To His care
commending you, as I hope in your prayers you will
commend me, I bid you an affectionate farewell.
- President Abraham Lincoln

Peace is precious to us. It is the way of life we strive for with
all the strength and wisdom we possess. But more precious
than peace are freedom and justice…This is our cause: peace,
freedom, justice. We will pursue this cause with determination
and humility, asking divine guidance that in all we do we may
follow the will of God. --President Harry S. Truman




===============




Q: Why is 'Thought & Humor' so long?
A: All newspapers & magazines are long!

Q: What if I can't read all of it?
A: Delete it. Most folks don't read every word in every newspaper/magazine either?

Q: Am I required to memorize each article?
A: Nope! Delete what you don't have time for or save for another time.

Q: Is 'T & H' Spam?
A: No, it's made entirely of ham.

Q: Can I forward to friends & family?
A: Please do.

Q: How many people have had opportunity to read 'T & H' E-Mail Newspapers?
A: Well over 1 million + many forwards by you.

Q: Who is Howdy?
A: We let him think he's the boss...






===============



Four important things to KNOW:

1) For ALL (Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus,
Buddhist, Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist,
Brazilians, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) have sinned
& fall short of the glory of God.

2) For the wages of above (see #1) are DEATH (Hell, eternal
separation from God, & damnation) but the Gift (free & at
no charge to you) of God (Creator, Jehovah, & Trinity) is
Eternal Life (Heaven) through (in union with) Jesus Christ
(God, Lord, 2nd Person of The Trinity, Messiah, Prince of
Peace & Savior of the World).

3) For God so greatly loved & dearly prized the world
(Americans, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Hindus, Buddhist,
Asians, Presbyterians, Europeans, Baptist, Brazilians,
Mormons, Methodist, French, etc.) that He even gave up
His only begotten (unique) Son, that whosoever (anyone,
anywhere, anytime - while still living) believes (trust in,
relies on, clings to, depends completely on) Him shall
have eternal (everlasting) life (heaven).

4) Jesus said: "I am THE WAY, THE TRUTH, & THE LIFE.
No one (male/female - American, Muslim, Jew, Catholic,
Hindu, Buddhist, Asian, Presbyterian, European, Baptist,
Brazilian, Mormons, Methodist, French, etc. ) comes (arrives)
to the Father (with GOD in Heaven) EXCEPT BY (through)
ME (no other name).

This wonderful loving GOD gives you the choice - - -
(Rev. 3:20)

{Please note that church membership, baptism, doing good
things, etc. are not requirements for becoming a Christian -
however they are great afterwards!!!}


Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that
leads to destruction (Hell, damnation, eternal punishment),
and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow
the road that leads to life (Heaven, eternal happiness,
forever with God), and only a few find it. --Matthew 7:13-14

Send any comments for Howdy to:
your-bestfriend4u@juno.com
If published in 'T & H', millions
could see your annotation.



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The "E-Mail Newspaper" containing 'Thought & Humor'
is sent out FREE via e-mail w/o ads. This information
was sent to you because you made the request, 'Thought
& Humor' is one small attempt to obey "The Great Com-
mission". First published in the last century (July 26, 1997).
Soli Deo Gloria...
________ "E-Mail Newspaper (Free4u)" _________
References gleaned for great humor & information: Merry Heart,
Thomas S. Elworth, Funny List, MeMail, Daily Dose, Joke of the Day,
Kim Komando, Shagmail, MIKEY'S FUNNIES , The Daily Tease,
Crosswalk.com, CLEAN LAFFS & Gophercentral.

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.


'Thought & Humor' respects your privacy and wishes to honor
your desires to not receive e-mail from us if that's your choice,
and we apologize if any message causes any inconvenience
to you or your computer. We have never given any reader's
e-mail addresses to a third party & have no plans to do such
unless the price is right:o) (Liberals please note - that was
humor) The E-Mail Newspaper is sent to you with love.

Notice: 'Thought & Humor' uses Norton Antivirus 2004
for our readers' protection.

But indeed for this purpose I have raised you up,
that I may show My power in you, and that My
Name may be declared in all the earth. Ex 9:16

And this Good News about the Kingdom will be
preached through all the world for a witness to
all people; and then the end will come. Mat 24:14




===============

WORD-MATCH
ANSWER KEY


http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/

===============


ANSWERS TO RIDDLES:

http://ilovehowdy.blogspot.com/


===============



Dear Friends,

Goodbye for now with jocundness for both you
& your dynasty & an enkindling winter pulchritude!!!

Your Amigo, Confrere & Sidekick,
Howdy
(probably spurious)


P.S. Q. What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?
A. It never eats.



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Forward this newspaper to four
people and you will lose two pounds.
Send this to all the people you know
(or ever knew), and you will lose 10
pounds. If you delete this message,
you will gain 10 pounds immediately.


That's why I had to pass this on --
I didn't want to risk it. Howdy



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If you aspire to unsubscribe & bid farewell
to all this jocosity & rumination - thwack your
"reply" button & send. You will automatically
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a keen! If this doesn't work, write me (with the
subject line from this edition) and I will personally
remove your name. If you use a forwarding
address, I will need that also:o)


Please do not "reply" to this letter
for communications with Howdy -
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to “reply” email. That's for Yahoo's
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A separate contact address is listed
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