We have -
Moved To:
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VENI, VIDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
 

Physicist Gary Thomas of the University of Colorado's Lab
>for Atmospheric and Space Physics says mysterious ice
>clouds that have recently surfaced over parts of America
>are confounding scientists.
Strangely, the frigid air masses seem to appear
wherever Senator Clinton is.
 

There was a UNC student who was sick and tired of being ridiculed for
attending UNC, so she decided to fix it by wearing a red N.C. State hat.

Later, she was driving along a country road between Chapel Hill & Raleigh
when she saw a shepherd with his flock.

She decided to see if she could pass as a N.C. State student and if she
did indeed get any smarter.

She pulled over to the side of the road and asked the shepherd if she
could guess how many sheep he had she could have one.

The shepherd thought this was an unusual request, but he agreed.
The UNC student thought about it for a minute and said, "one hundred and fifty."
The shepherd said she was right and that she could pick a sheep to take home.

She did and as she was putting it into the trunk of the car, the shepherd
stopped her and said, "If I can guess your real school, can I have my dog back?"
 

OBSCURE AND UNUSUAL WORDS
*************************

1) horripilation haw rippi laysh'n (noun)
: the standing on end of somebody's hair, e.g., because
of fear or cold

Mid-17th century. From the late Latin stem horripilation-,
from, ultimately, Latin horripilare "to become hairy,"
from horrere "to stand on end" + pilus "hair."

2) tawdry tawdree (adjective)
: gaudy, cheap in appearance, and of inferior quality

Early 17th century. Shortening of tawdry lace, an alter-
ation of St. Audrey's lace.
 

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The tallest island is New Guinea, in the southwest Pacific just north
of Australia. Its highest point is the top of Mount Djaja, at 5030
meters (16,503 feet). New Guinea wins the title hands down, towering
825 meters above the next tallest island, Hawaii.

New Guinea is not only the world's tallest island, it is also the
second largest (Greenland is larger), measuring 885,780 square
kilometers (342,000 square miles). It is mostly covered with lush
tropical rainforest containing almost 9000 species of plants and 700 species of birds.

New Guinea also is the most linguistically diverse area on Earth.
Over 700 languages are still spoken by the native Melanesians,
Papuans, and Negritos. In some remote sections of the interior,
headhunting and cannibalism are still practiced.
 

Cartoon Physics
------------------------------------
LAW 1: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made
aware of its situation. For example, Daffy Duck steps off a cliff,
expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing
flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the
familiar principle of gravity acceleration at 9.8m/sec^2 (32 feet
per second per second) takes over.

LAW 2: Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid
matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon, or in hot
pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their
momentum that only a telephone pole or an oversized boulder will
retard their motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this
sudden termination of motion "the stooge's surcease."

LAW 3: Any body passing through solid matter will leave a
perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the
silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the specialty of victims of
directed-pressure explosions and of the reckless cowards who are so
eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a
cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often
catalyzes this reaction.

LAW 4: The time required for an object to fall 20 stories is
greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it
off the ledge to spiral down 20 flights of stairs to attempt to capture
it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, and the attempt to capture
it is inevitably unsuccessful.

LAW 5: All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic
forces are sufficient in most cases for a shock to propel them
directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an
adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to
the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or a crest of a flagpole.
The feet of the character who is running or the wheels of a
speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially in flight.

LAW 6: As speed icreases, objects can be in several places at once.
This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a
character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation
at several places simultaneously. This effect is common among
bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A "Wacky" character
has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and
may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

LAW 7: Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to
resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil
inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known
that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an
opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.
The painter is flattened against the wall when they attempt to
follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

LAW 8: Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more deaths that the additional nine
lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed,
accordian-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be
destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self-pity, they
re-inflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify. COROLLARY: A cat will
assume the shape of its container.

LAW 9: Everything falls faster than an anvil.

LAW 10: For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite
revengeance. This is the one law of animation cartoon motion that
also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we
need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.
 

--Tex Ritter - January 2, 1974
Born January 12, 1905
Country music singer and songwriter. Although he began law
school at Northwestern University, he left to take up a
career as a folksinger. By 1930 he had his first role on
Broadway, made his first film in 1936, and during the 1930s
he appeared in more Broadway musicals and began to record
cowboy songs. During 1936-45 he appeared in 60 Hollywood
Westerns as a singing cowboy, becoming known as 'America's
Most Beloved Cowboy'. As his film popularity declined, he
toured in live shows with his horse, White Flash, and
continued his recording career. His several hit singles
included the title song for the film "High Noon" and in the
1950s he hosted a radio dance show. He moved to Nashville
to join the 'Grand Ole Opry' in 1965. In 1970 he was
unsuccessful in his bid for the Republican nomination for US
senator from Tennessee. He is also the father of the late
actor John Ritter.
 

Dear Howdy,

I received this today . . . you probably have already seen it, and maybe used it . . . but it might be of interest at least to Americans.

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked
her class to look at TV commercials and see if they
could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God.

Here are some of the results: (scroll down.)

God is like..

BAYER ASPIRIN
He works miracles.

God is like...
a FORD
He's got a better idea.

God is like...
COKE
He's the real thing.

(This is great)

God is like..
HALLMARK CARDS
He cares enough to send His very best.

God is like...
TIDE
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.

God is like...
GENERAL ELECTRIC
He brings good things to life.

God is like...
SEARS
He has everything.

God is like...
ALKA-SELTZER
Try him, you'll like Him.

God is like...
SCOTCH TAPE
You can't see him, but you know He's there.

God is like..
DELTA
He's ready when you are.

God is like...
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.

God is like...
VO-5 Hair Spray
He holds through all kinds of weather.

God is like...
DIAL SOAP
Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish
everybody did?

(that one is my favorite)

God is like...
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep
Him from His appointed destination.

JB